#1 - Panic room (2002)

In our inaugural episode we talk about the film that started it all: David Fincher’s timeless masterpiece Panic Room.

Tessa grudgingly acknowledges Jared Leto’s bisexual vibe, Harry argues for bisexuals against electricity, Charlotte sees the whole thing as a metaphor for the queer experience and Grace christens Academy Award winner Forest Whitaker with an affectionate nickname that rhymes with schmaddy.

We talk about what gave us big Bi-Panic Energy (BPE) this week and Charlotte pitches what is possibly the straightest movie ever made as a wild card contender.

Welcome, bicons. Please join us in the Bi-Panic Room.

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Episode transcript

[Please note that transcripts are automatically generated so many not be 100% accurate]

Welcome to 38 West 94th Street in New York City.

Go up the stairs, into the room that's smaller than it should be, push against the mirror frame, and enter the panic room, the Bi-Panic Room.

This is our safe space, our bi-criterion closet, where all the cultural experiences live that have BPE, big bi-panic energy.

Moments that made us realize, we're not playing for one team, we're greedy, and what we want is in that room.

Welcome to The Bi-Panic Room, a bi-monthly podcast exploring the films and television series that trigger bisexual panic, aka bi-panic.

My name is Harry, and today I'm with my co-hosts, Charlotte, Grace and Tessa.

Join us on this very first episode of The Bi-Panic Room, where we will be discussing the namesake movie that inspired us to start all of this, the 2002 David Fincher film, Panic Room, starring Jodie Foster as a recently divorced Manhattanite taking refuge in her stunning brownstone safe room with her daughter, played by Kristen Stewart, as three men break in searching for a missing fortune.

We will move on to our Bi-Panic energies of the week, a section where we shamelessly share moments that have brought us Bi-Panic.

Yes, it does continue well into adulthood.

We will end our episode with a wildcard choice, today brought forward by Charlotte, to see if she can convince us to vote it in or keep it out of the Bi-Panic Room.

But today for our inaugural episode, we are actually going to talk about the film that started it all, this very podcast and sent us on our journey of self-discovery.

Yeah, the origin of Bi-Panic.

And that would be Panic Room.

Starring Jodie Foster, Kristen Stewart, Jared Leto, Leto?

Leto.

I'll use them interchangeably.

Forest Whitaker and Dwight Yoakam, whose name I always forget.

But also let's not forget who is also in there.

Nicole Kidman.

Fan favourite.

Completely forgot she was in it.

Get ready for the trivia.

So, I think we all agree that Panic Room is the epitome of a bi-panic film.

I definitely watched it in my youth without realising the impact it had on me.

It was the first DVD I had ever bought.

And I watched it, I'd say twice a week, for the space of 18 months.

Very bi of you, bi-weekly.

Bi-weekly.

As a football-playing young girl who never went to the cinema, I have seen that film hundreds of times.

And it was definitely a bi-panic moment.

I mean, I don't know if anyone else watched it and thought that Kristen Stewart was a young male at the time.

I don't know.

Your first crush?

First crush.

And I was like, oh, this boy is really something.

And suddenly, Sarah comes out wearing a towel on her head after a shower.

And you think, normally, that's very feminine of him.

Very progressive of David Fincher.

Of Jodie's son.

And then that's when the panic sets in.

Well, Kristen's character was only addressed as, hey, kid.

No scooter.

For the first 15 minutes of the movie.

Has diabetes.

Defining character trait.

Gonna die in a minute.

I think the plot synopsis says, Jodie Foster must help her diabetic daughter.

And that's her identifier.

Biabetic.

Okay, I think that's a stretch and medically difficult.

Okay, so reasons why we think this film is a bi-panic film.

I mean, Jodie Foster and Kristen Stewart are kind of nowadays.

It's quite easy to see why that's a bi-panic film.

It's almost, I think, impossible to divorce that from the fact.

I feel like even back then, we knew that Jodie Foster was queer, right?

Like she was already.

Yeah.

I mean, she wasn't officially out, was she?

No, but everybody sort of knew.

And even just the energy that she brings.

You know, when you were talking about the fact that Nicole Kidman was meant to play that role, and then we had Jodie Foster.

It's a completely different movie.

And she brings a way more no-nonsense mask energy, which is what we're here for.

Whereas Nicole Kidman would have been a bit handsy.

Very much Hitchcock blonde, you know?

Yeah, Hitchcock blonde.

The screams would have been very different.

Yeah.

I think the cast is a big point because Hayden Panettiere was also originally cast as the daughter.

And I think having seen Bring It On 2, Bring It On 2?

Bring It On 2.

I can't imagine that this film would have had bi-panic energy with Nicole Kidman and Hayden Panettiere.

But they would have worked better together than like Hayden Panettiere and Jodie Foster like that.

You would never have thought.

They both would have died.

Yeah.

It's giving adopted child.

She would let her die.

Don't give her the shot.

It's time.

And I feel like we're going to be saying, give her the shot quite a lot because it is possibly the best line in the entire film.

It's said with such conviction and we will get to the build up of when it actually is said.

But should we have a bit of a run through of the film?

Who wants to give a synopsis of the introduction?

Like how everyone's looking at me?

Yeah.

I mean, let's go for it.

We have Jodie Foster as Sarah Altman.

Recently divorced woman.

Who's Meg?

Is she Meg?

Oh shit.

You might be right.

She's Meg and that's the way around.

We haven't even seen this film a thousand times.

You know who Sarah is.

Could she possibly be Meg?

So Jodie Foster plays Meg Altman, recently divorced, now sort of a single mother who is rolling in money through her husband who is in pharmaceuticals.

Yeah, she doesn't work two jobs.

She does not work two jobs.

She's about to go back to school, Columbia, and she's desperately in need of a new house to live in with her daughter across the park so they can always be there for each other.

And the only place they can look for is the Upper West Side.

In that brownstone.

In a house that could house four families comfortably.

And they go in and are being shown around by a fabulous realtor and the house has a panic room, which freaks her out.

But her daughter, Sarah, played by Kristen Stewart, is massively into.

And because Meg, at the beginning of the film, is a massive pushover, she basically just pays the price, you know?

I mean, you're asking to be robbed in a house like that.

I mean, they don't need the space, do they?

But absolutely not.

They could have done with a studio.

It is truly ridiculous if you think about that.

Like, they live, they sleep on separate floors.

There's nobody else in the entire house.

So what is the point?

Which feels like an oversight if you have a child who has diabetes.

So if you needed to get to her quickly.

Insulin on every floor.

Yeah, poor mother.

Exactly.

I mean, had she had insulin on every floor, maybe that wouldn't have happened.

Is there a mini fridge in every room?

I would assume, like, they should have had one in the panic room.

They should have seen that coming.

That's not that much money.

They should have them.

Watching the film in my teenage years feels very different to watching in my adult years because the focus that I had in the first 20 minutes of the film was all about the real estate.

And that was the first bi-panic energy.

The housing market is big bi-panic energy for me right now in this film.

The brownstone was what you struggled with.

Don't say it.

That's a real awakening for sure.

Just hearing the word brownstone just gets me going, to be honest.

Because it is the dream.

If you're bi and you want space for all of your endeavors.

On different floors.

Different floors.

Well, I think if you're bi, you're rich.

You're rich in New York.

I mean, it has to be given.

One floor for gay, one floor for straight.

One floor for your diabetic daughter.

Some very niche sexuality.

Forest Whitaker.

Did anyone else have an attraction to that man in this film?

No, and you're weird.

Not really.

I'm sorry, but no one else wanted him to just like...

I will agree with you on the oral terms.

And that is A-U, oral.

Of his voice.

Okay.

Tell me more.

I could listen to his silky smooth dulcet tones all day long.

Oh, he's so warm.

Absolutely.

I gave like big spoon energy.

Like kind of like your father.

In a paternal sense.

And now we've uncovered the daddy issue segment of the podcast.

Forest Whitaker is cuddly.

And I would like to cuddle him.

I think that's absolutely...

And I think he's got a cute face.

And I think as an 11 year old girl, you can't judge me for wanting to...

He has big Teddy energy.

He has big Teddy energy.

I mean, can we just say this is a Bi-Panic film, so we have to appreciate both sides.

And if you're completely right, we shouldn't be shaming you for this.

Can we compare Forest Whitaker to Dwight Yoakam and the man that for some reason, both like Nicole Kidman and Jodie Foster have ended up married to, only because he's infirmity too.

I was going to say.

Were they married to Jared Leto?

Yeah, well yeah, Jared Leto, who's, you know, appropriating culture.

That was in the director's commentary.

Yeah.

So I feel like, and Forest was just a good guy in the end.

You know, he gave it all up to save the diabetic child.

Spoiler alert.

Twice.

Spoiler alert.

Completely, he makes the movie.

I'm sorry, but he's attractive man.

I'm just gonna put it out there.

He's got charisma.

He has.

For sure.

He's got like big friendly vibes.

It is the warmth.

He's the stable.

He's the Mary in the game of Shag, Mary, Kill.

Exactly.

Exactly.

He's your Sunday morning.

Yeah.

Whereas, here's a question, but like between Jared Leto and Dwight Yerkem in this movie, who are the Shag and the Kill?

Oh, Kill's Dwight Yerkem.

I don't know.

I mean, Raoul is at least like, you don't know what's going on and it's kind of intriguing.

question, would you keep the balaclava on or off?

No, that seems disrespectful to Dwight Yerkem.

Definitely on.

I think the other problem, of course, is also that he loses four of his fingers.

So what can you do with that then?

Exactly.

I know he carries a gun, but you know.

Is he packing anything else there?

I do think though, that like when I saw this movie when I was younger, when it first came out, I can't remember this, but I'm sure I thought Jared Leto was very good looking.

Yeah.

And you never like, he wasn't like a person on your radar, like you didn't know cultural context or his acting approach or the fact that the cornrows might not have been a great idea, make complete sense with the character.

But back then you were probably just like, I has a pretty boy with blue eyes.

I'm going to save him.

And I was absolutely sold.

Exactly.

And let's be honest, like what gives more bi-panic energy than a millennial, not knowing how the housing market or money works.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Well, fun fact, fun confession.

I only watched The Panic Room a few months ago when I was made by Grace and Charlotte and Harry.

Well, yeah.

Was that the first time you'd seen it?

My first time seeing it, yeah.

So I was, I know I was approached from a very like, I say into my sexuality now, I'm still a bit confused.

But yeah, so about, so I was, I will say Jared Leto was a, he's a vibe in it even now.

And I'm like, he's so bad.

He's the, that's a big confession, I think.

So thank you for being vulnerable.

Yeah, I know.

And Jodie Foster, I think, with her glass of wine in the bath.

Oh, the glass of wine.

The size of a bucket.

We have come to the glass of wine.

And the way she picks it up when she's in the bathtub, exactly like that.

The handwork is incredible.

She had her eyes on the realtor and she was practicing on that wine.

How she made it up and down the stairs after that bucket of wine though, is a feat in itself, which I think we should appreciate her ability to hold her wine.

100%.

And she never used the elevator either.

Would you though?

Yeah, four floors.

You definitely get stuck in the elevator.

You're asking again to be real good at you, aren't you, Ty?

While you're stuck in the elevator.

Yeah, just like, just rob me.

I'm so rich, doesn't matter.

That's the other thing with Panic Room is it gives bi-panic energy, but it also gives just panic energy the whole way through.

You know, you're on edge.

It's very like it's a thriller.

Is the wine going to fall?

Is the wine going to fall?

Is the Nokia going to beep?

Is they going to get into the room?

Is Kristen Stewart going to die?

But alongside that, you have the constant energy of, am I maybe gay?

And you can barely see throughout all of it as well, because they didn't turn a single light on.

Which in itself feels very bisexual.

Oh yes, bisexuals don't use electricity, as we know.

We like a moody lighting.

Yeah.

And just going into the next part of the movie, once they've moved in, which took about three days, I think, and from someone who has bought property, smug face, it did not take three days.

It took months and I was no chain.

I don't quite know how they moved in to this brownstone so quickly.

Well, Harry, if you listen to the beginning, when the realtor was talking, she did say it's steel and that they wanted a quick sale.

You know, I got a quick sale.

I was in by the end of the week with my glass of wine.

But are you buying a brownstone in New York?

No, I'm not.

Thank you for the gentle reminder.

I'm talking a level of rich here where new things are possible.

Although, valid point, they didn't have a lot of stuff.

They had no stuff.

Yeah.

Considering they're so rich, unless that's how the rich stay rich, they don't have stuff.

Don't spend a single thing except on real estate.

Can we draw attention to the one thing that maybe prevented the film from actually having official bi-panic status, which is the moment when Jodie Foster says, there are three things.

I knew you were going to be like that.

I was watching this movie today and I knew that that was going to be a big thing.

I was like, this might be the least sexy thing in the entire movie, while it also is the only thing that directly mentioned sex.

Yeah.

Because it's the one moment where I think, A, you realize that Jodie Foster is definitely gay because she can't convincingly deliver the idea that she's going to have sex with this man.

And the brown sweater.

And the brown sweater.

But I think it's that thing of like you having all these struggles with the movie and you might be thinking, Oh God, yeah.

You know, I'm having feelings and then the feelings dry up.

This is the second she says it.

It's kind of like, yeah, the tension of the movie was all getting me into the mood and then Jodie Foster turns on the charm and yeah, this moment makes me dry.

He fast forward straight through it.

It's dry in many ways.

But ultimately the film, we forgive that overall.

That's the one moment that breaks the tension, the bi-panic tension.

You're almost grateful for it because maybe otherwise it would be too much.

Like even just the fact that Jodie Foster and Nicole Kidman exist in a film together, like they have electric chemistry.

Like when Jodie Foster calls Nicole Kidman a bitch, I'm like, this is incredible.

Oh, I do hold on to that late at night sometimes.

This is also just on the phone.

They're never actually in the scene together for anyone who's not seen the film, but all that's needed.

All you have to do is listen though.

That's the person that you hear kind of wearily awake at three in the morning saying, hello, that's Nicole Kidman.

And then put him on the phone, bitch.

It's your fucking wife.

That's the conversation you'll hear and that's as much as you'll hear of Nicole Kidman.

All you need is the electric.

The scene has enough bi-panic energy to make up for the three things moment.

I think the other thing I was thinking watching the movie again today in preparation for this was that like, maybe it's because you could literally do this with almost any movie, but I do think that Panic Room is really just a metaphor for being bisexual because the whole thing is about Jodie Foster being this like woman who is a total pushover.

You know, the whole time in the beginning, like she can't say no to the realtor, can't say no to her daughter, like when she's uncomfortable in the panic room because she's claustrophobic, she can't convey the fact that she wants them to open the door.

She wants to come out.

Exactly.

She wants to come out of the closet and isn't the panic room just a closet?

Isn't it just?

Then throughout the movie, I mean, she comes out and goes back in quite a few times.

Haven't we all?

But she basically has to come into her own, and she learns to cause grievous bodily injury and to be very ingenious, and she overcomes all of these trials and tribulations, and by the end, she's really become her own person.

Isn't that just a metaphor for really owning your bisexuality?

Thank you very much for that, Charlotte.

That's a really poignant view.

This is what I'm going to be saying about every single film.

It is a metaphor.

So, we find ourselves in the panic room for the first part of the hostage crisis of The Brownstone.

And they are communicating, they being Jodie Foster and Kirsten Stewart, between the robbers of the house who have decided to use big placards saying, what we want is in that room.

And as an audience member, you gasp, because what is in that room, aside from panic?

Gay people.

So gay.

Gay people and bank bonds.

Twenty two million dollars worth.

Which themselves give by panic energy.

Richer than the Brownstone in New York.

So the biggest thing about panic room, the big conflict is that Jodie Foster and her daughter hole up in the panic room, the one place in the house that they think they're going to be safe.

And that's the one place in the house that the robbers are trying to get to.

But throughout the length of the film, of course, they have to leave the panic room to, I don't know, find a mobile phone, get an insulin shot because her daughter is just going into some form of hyperglycemic shock.

Typical.

Love having kids.

And they also try to give messages to neighbours.

And so there are several different ways that they have to try and communicate with the outside world to try and get help.

But also, there's people trying to get in with mechanical means.

They have guns.

They have weapons.

They have one gun.

They have one gun.

Raul, the bus driver from Flatbush brought it.

Wow, you did your homework.

They also have tools.

Oh, good point.

Machine tools.

Yeah, Forest Whitaker works for the company that built the Panic Room.

We should bring that into the equation here.

He's a heavy block driver.

That's the reason why they can do anything to the house at all.

It's because he knows the layout and he knows that they can't call the police from inside the Panic Room because the phone line hasn't been hooked up.

The mobile phone isn't going to work.

So he has all this inside information.

Not to raise my earlier point, but the reason that they are in the house is because they thought it would be empty.

But for some reason, they moved in effectively overnight.

They didn't follow proper procedure.

It's always business days.

Oh yeah.

So basically, if they followed Harry's schedule of moving in, this never would have happened.

It never would have happened.

If the seasons changed a few times, then yes.

They would have robbed the line.

They would have known.

And Christian Sherwood wouldn't have had gone into hyperglycemic shock.

And wouldn't have gotten onto the foot fetish of Wikipedia.

There's this one shot in the movie when she's in the Panic Room.

So she has diabetes and she goes into hyperglycemic shock.

And she like has this cramp.

Yeah.

And like this full body cramp.

And her toes like cramp up.

And there's a shot just of the toes.

And she says herself that like that has ended up on the foot Wikipedia.

And especially men, I think.

She's a child.

Yeah.

But that doesn't stop creepy men.

That is rotten.

You're welcome.

So then the next part in the film is they need to get out because Christian Shewitt is dying from diabetes.

Jodie doesn't want to let that happen.

No, because mother of the year.

So can we just point out that at this point, Jodie Foster has already set them both on fire.

Mother of the year.

Gentle reminder.

The Wubba's are pumping gas in and she's trying to dispel it by basically setting fire to it.

Yeah, of themselves.

So she just throws a fire blanket at Christian Shewitt and she's like, whoops.

So she basically then loses her shit and is like, I'm going to take on these guys outside.

Like, let's go.

So she gets out of the panic room and she finds a phone.

Not just any phone, a Nokia.

A Nokia.

Oh, great marketing.

So then she gets through to the police, doesn't she?

Well, she gets the phone and it's a fantastic slow motion scene.

You know it's going to fall.

Incredible.

The guys are arguing on the staircase.

She runs out in slow motion.

They hear, boom, boom, boom, her footsteps upstairs and they return.

If she wasn't so heavy footed, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

They don't hear the footsteps.

She is trying to get the phone and she's sneaking out and they're on the stairs arguing.

Then as she's trying desperately to reach the phone, the phone falls down and as she goes to lunch for it, she knocks over the lamp.

The lamp smashes, the bulb smashes.

There's this big flash of light.

The guys see it, run back upstairs because they realize she's outside.

She manages to get the phone and she runs back into the room in slow motion and just manages to close the door while they try to catch up with her.

And then she manages to connect the phone to the phone line to call.

And that's when she calls her husband, but they then cut the actual main line in the house, I think.

Down in the basement before she can say more than the infamous words.

There are three.

Let's not repeat them.

She's so clumsy.

She really is.

And then basically, then her daughter does have the big cramp.

The foot fetish moment, if you will.

And so she knows that she has to get the insulin.

So she has to find a way to basically run upstairs to get the insulin because her daughter has it in a mini fridge in her room.

But while she's gone, the robbers catch wind and they manage to get into the panic room.

And again, great slow motion moment.

She runs back and she manages to like whip the case that has the insulin into the panic room before the four inches of steel thick door closes.

But now the robbers are in there with her daughter and she's on the outside and she loses her shit because now she has no control over anything.

She has the gun.

Oh, she does.

But there's no way for her to...

Exactly.

I mean, win-win.

Bye.

She just leaves the house.

Yeah.

Mad skills.

And that's how the film ends.

And as the door closes, this is where Dwight Jocham gets his hand caught in the door and he loses four of his fingers.

And Jodie kicks the shit out of it.

And she kicks the door and he is howling in pain.

And they basically try to negotiate where she says, my daughter needs a shot to live and they need to open the door so Dwight can remove his hand.

And so she has to go down the stairs so that they have enough time to open the door.

They close the door again.

And you know, Forest Whitaker being the cuddly man that he is, Grace loves, loveable husband material.

He gives her the shot after Jodie screams the iconic line.

Give her the shot!

Give her the shot!

Give her the shot!

And being another bisexual icon, obviously she's-

A bi-con?

A bi-con, oh yes, a bi-con.

Kristen Stewart does what all smart bisexual teens, pre-teens would do.

And she steals a few of those injections.

This is important for later.

She steals three, like-

She gets needles at the ready.

She gets needles.

She weaponizes her future.

She weaponizes her future.

This is when the women start to fight back.

So she sneaks those-

Like once she's better and she's fine and she's got her sugar or whatever, you know, whatever sugar it's given her.

Insulin, you know, that thing.

She gets those noodles.

Give her the noodles.

It's important to know that all panic rooms come with a stock of noodles.

Noodles, noodles, and sugar, and sugar, and flammable blankets, and flammable blankets, and maybe a phone, just, you know, but non-working phone.

Yeah, so she stock those up for later.

This is when the tide starts to turn on our robbers.

Oh, this is also when the police come knocking.

Oh, Charlotte, don't remind us.

Well, there's also a scene where they are doing a bit of morse code.

For those that want to learn a bit of morse code, start with watching Panic Room.

Where they learned it from Titanic.

Where they learned it from Titanic, another film that might be, could potentially be a future Bi-Panic film.

Kathy Bates, spy con for sure.

Oh, interesting choice.

Of all the ones you're going to start with.

Yeah, I'll stand by that.

This is like Forest Whitaker.

I mean, I feel like you judged me for Forest Whitaker and now I'm judging you for Kathy Bates.

Keeping Kathy Bates in the bank.

Yeah, interesting.

Kathy Bates in the bank.

But she was rich in that movie.

Yeah, that does happen.

She was sailing first class.

Yeah.

Okay, at least you know my love for Forest is okay, because he wasn't rich.

I just liked him.

Yeah, that makes it more questionable.

Well, at the end of the film, can I just point out that he had millions of bell bonds in his jacket.

He made it like 20 yards.

But for those moments, he was rich.

What's he doing it for?

That's when you found him most attractive.

Yeah.

What's he doing it for his sick son as well or something?

No, just for his children.

I think he has a gambling problem and probably is in debt.

And so it's for his children.

And for the child, I wouldn't have known what that meant.

So, of course, you know, you can forgive me for falling.

He had a sick child falling for Forest.

Also diabetic, maybe.

That's why he knew how to give her the shot.

Give her the shot.

Anyway, so at this point, by the way, also the ex-husband, Steven, has come to the house after after Jodie has called him.

And so he's already they've already beaten the shit out of him.

He's downstairs.

And then the police come.

And Jodie knows that she can't actually tell them what's going on because they will kill her daughter in the panic or the Bi-Panic Room.

And so she has the cringiest exchange of all time in which she tells the police that actually she was telling her husband, not that they were like three men in the house, but that she would do three things for him in bed.

If he came over to the house right now because she had a fucking tub of water.

And so she convinces them that it's like not a real call and they leave, but the officer that she talks to is like clearly unsure about what's going on.

And he like has this moment where he thinks that maybe, maybe she, you know, maybe something else is going on.

And he tells her that if there's any reason she can't communicate to him right now with the words that somewhere else is in the house, that she should like give him some sort of sign maybe.

Like wink at him or something.

Exactly.

I think she and the police officer wanted Jodie Foster to stop talking.

To his balls, for inside his body.

For all of our sakes, but she doesn't.

And so they leave and then it all ends in a sort of showdown.

So Jodie really like takes the reins.

She takes the humongous sledgehammer, smashes up all the glass, locks the doors.

And basically smashes the cameras up.

Smashes the camera.

That was a smart move.

So the robbers inside the panic room cannot see what's happening in the rest of the house anymore.

And then the robbers just have to open the panic room.

Eventually, take Kristen Stewart with them as a hostage to try and get out because now they have managed to break into the safe that was actually in the floor of the panic room, which is what they were after all along.

That's where they got the $22 million in bearer bonds.

And now, they need to try and get out of the house, but Jodie is obviously lying in wait.

Jodie is ready for them.

A sledgehammer.

Is she hiding in the basement?

I can't remember where she's hidden.

She's hiding somewhere, isn't she?

No, so I think, so they come down to ground floor level.

She's in the lift.

She's in the lift.

She's in the lift.

Yeah.

She's waiting for a girl to come in.

And Steven Altman is there with the gun.

And as the robbers try to stop him from shooting them, she comes from the back with a humongous sledgehammer, Kristen Stewart sees Ducks just in time.

She whacks Dwight Jochum in the face.

He falls backwards down full flight of stairs.

Somehow then afterwards is completely irate and still capable of dragging himself back up the stairs and actually being like a physical threat, which is quite impressive.

He'd be dead.

Not a very effective sledgehammer.

Just to note as well, the husband, didn't he have a really nice trench coat on?

Did he?

Well, yeah, he's in pharmaceuticals.

Was it a nice trench coat or was it giving a man who flashes children in the park?

No, it's probably like a Burberry.

I think it's giving bi-panic energy.

Oh, that was definitely bought from Sax on Fifth Avenue.

I think we also need to bring back a moment in the film where we are given a big plot twist shock, where the robbers have a bit of a civil war.

So they're arguing quite constantly, they're not really a cohesive team.

No, so you have Big Daddy Energy from Forest Whitaker.

You have the chaos and frenetic energy of Jared Leto, Leto.

And then you have gun happy Raoul.

At what point is it where they're downstairs, they're arguing escrow is mentioned because it's a pivotal plot device.

And then out of nowhere, Jared Leto gets absolutely shot in the face.

Yeah, Jared Leto is the one who brought Raoul in because it was only supposed to be Forest Whitaker and Jared Leto, but Jared Leto was very aware that he needed some muscle.

So he brings Raoul in who wears a balaclava and doesn't want to say a whole lot, but gets tired of Jared Leto pretty quickly.

And then he wouldn't.

Then Jared Leto at some point is like, we're not getting into that room.

I can't be bothered with this.

He also reveals that he is actually the grandson of the man who owned the house before Jodie Foster moved in, which is why he knows that it's in that room in the first place.

And he basically says, well, I'm going to inherit some of this money anyway.

So fuck it, I'm over this, goes to leave.

And that is when Roy will just shoot him straight up in the head.

You get full closer above the smashed skull.

Yeah.

But that also means Forest Whitaker can't leave because he knows that Roy is a psychopath with a gun.

And so-

Kill him.

Yeah, exactly.

So they're together into the bitter end.

It's a bit of a device to make the audience fall for Forest Whitaker, because it's not the job that he originally signed up for.

And now he's in a bit of mortal peril that he didn't want.

He just wants to get money for his kids.

Queery, diabetic kids.

I like how the store is getting more and more elaborate.

I mean, if anything, this film is a bi-panic film, but it's also a feminist film, because the men can't fucking do anything in it.

And the women-

Throwing sledgehammers.

As the only man in this room, I have no defense.

They are horrific.

They are.

And I mean, even Steven has to be coached to hold a fucking gun up.

To protect his child.

Steven can't even hold a fucking gun up.

I heard your arm is broken.

Just do it.

Yeah.

People do things with broken arms all the time, you know?

I feel just as a timestamp of this podcast, I could paraphrase Taylor Swift here.

I can do it with a broken arm.

Yeah, exactly.

She could.

And I think we need to also pay homage to Kristen's acting in the fireplace when her mother is about to get murdered.

The way she screams.

So Raoul has been knocked floor below, but he somehow still manages to crawl back up.

He gets a hold of the sledgehammer while Jodie is like sort of dazed on the ground.

That wine.

And then he climbs on top of her and goes to smash her face in with a sledgehammer.

And Kristen Stewart, like, watches this happen, crouched in a fireplace.

And she lets out this guttural scream of horror because she's about to see her mother being brutally murdered.

And it is like, it is a kind of acting that you almost don't want to see from a child because it's too harrowing and too real.

And at this point, she's already taken on Dwight herself by using those, those needles that she stocked up on earlier.

She stabbed that bastard in the head and he's smacked her fully in the face and just thrown her into the fireplace.

The man is basically unkillable.

The man is Mike Myers.

Minus four fingers at this point, but Summer, that's not stopping him either.

That's 20 million.

Yeah.

And then who comes to save the day?

I think we can't forget who comes to save the day at this point.

I think we can't.

I think it's your job to...

This is the thing that cements the bi-panic energy of Forest Whitaker in this film, which is that as much as Jodie and Kristen have done an incredible job of taking down the robbers, completely fucking them over and doing things that when they take out the cameras, what's the classic line, which is that, why didn't we think of that?

Because these guys are fucking stupid.

They're idiots.

Yeah, the Altmans are taking on the world.

But ultimately, when it comes to the point where both of them are about to get killed by Dwight, who comes back?

Daddy Whitaker comes back.

He's got a jacket full of like 40 million in male bonds.

He's out the door.

He's ready to go.

Everyone can just kill themselves in that room, but he's a good man.

And he comes back and he saves Sarah and he saves Meg and he saves us all ultimately.

By shooting Dwight in the head.

Yeah.

And he didn't have to.

And all of that is done.

And again, another very Fincher-esque slow motion, drag out five seconds of screen time into about a minute and a half.

And I don't know what Kristen tapped into to do those facial expressions, but she was feeling every moment of that mortal panic.

She was.

And then she saw Raoul get shot in the head.

She's seen a lot in that house already.

The amount of therapy that girl is going to have to go to.

Which in itself is a very bisexual thing.

That is very true.

Is there anything more bisexual than mental health?

Out of the panic room and into the therapist's office.

Exactly.

Which in itself is a panic room, isn't it?

An expensive one.

A very expensive panic room.

Well, yeah, so Forest Whitaker shoots, Stryokom rescues everyone, and then he still goes to try and run away.

But at this point, the officer that Jodie had talked to at the door clearly had kind of guessed that something was going on, and he comes back with full backup.

And Swat and the police around the whole house, and so Forest gets captured, and all the bank bonds are picked up by the wind and the rain, and it was all for nothing.

And then we cut to a little bit later, probably like 12 hours later, because that's how time works in this movie.

And it's Meg and Sarah in Central Park, looking at new houses to move into.

And what this movie is really about is like teaching rich people that maybe you don't have to live in a huge fucking mansion, and you can just live in a nice fancy apartment on the Upper East Side and stairs.

Nice three bed.

Maybe four.

Very reasonable.

Two floors with a terrace.

You don't need four floors.

Exactly.

But a lift.

And a concierge.

And a concierge.

They could do with the staff.

They could, which is French for superintendent.

You have to watch this movie in order to be able to appreciate that particular point.

Another Fincherism about the movie is the chaotic zoom in pan across the scene shots that happens.

There's the CGI, the agonizing CGI.

Like even from the start where you're going through the Manhattan skyline and you just see the names of the cast.

I love those openings.

Just lit it across.

It took a year.

What?

What?

The introduction of putting Kristen Stewart on the avenue.

The thing that you can now do on like free software.

Yeah, because it was this 3D effect that you have on there that cost a huge amount of money.

It took so long for that special effects studio to get right.

I think we can all agree it was worth it.

Do you know what?

Every time I watch it, I was like, absolutely money well spent.

Would do again.

Just seeing those names light up time square.

It's amazing.

I like how the next name is like on the next block along as well.

So they're just permanent within Manhattan.

There's when the camera pans through the kitchen, and you get to go through all their unpacking, see their pizza boxes.

Through the handle of the coffee pot.

Yes.

Outstanding work.

Incredible.

You just get a close up of Jodie Foster's massive glass of wine.

I wasn't sure what you were doing with that.

What a mess.

I was copying my hands as well.

Jodie's fosters.

Jodie's fosters.

Chin chin to those.

Oh dear.

But yeah, I also liked, I liked as a child as well to appreciate the use of fuck in the film.

Oh, oh, there's an excellent use of the word fuck.

There's a couple, and it's the mother or daughter thing, and it's also like what makes Kristen Stewart cool in the film.

Because she like a kid who swear, get the fuck out of my house.

Yeah, it's great.

But there's also the bit with the coke.

Do you know what?

I think that is one of the best examples of excellent screenwriting with like saying so much, so little, which is they've just moved into the house.

Jodie Foster is barely keeping it together.

She is sucking down her humongous glass of wine.

Kristen Stewart as a tree gets to have a coke.

And Jodie Foster like polices quite strictly how much she's allowed to have.

And Kristen Stewart can see that her mother is like just hanging on by a thread.

And she, without any other conversation beforehand, says to her mom, you know, fuck him, fuck her too.

And that's all the information you get about their like familial situation.

And it's all you need because you instantly know exactly what's going on.

And obviously Jodie Foster being a good mother has to, you know, tell her daughter off for swearing.

But then because she can't help herself also gives her a little bit more coke as a treat because she's like, you're fucking right, you are.

Yeah, probably triggered her diabetic crisis.

Yeah, she would have made it through the night otherwise.

But yeah, one of the year award.

But it is, yeah, it's excellent.

It's an excellent piece of screenwriting.

The film is just a generally amazing film.

Yeah, there's a good bit of familial bonding, what to do in a crisis.

Again, the real estate.

Good amount of swearing.

And I feel like now it's quite easy.

If you were to name now Jodie Foster, Kristen Stewart, Jared Leto, for example, as Bi-Panic people, as people of all genders.

Yeah, and Forest Whitaker.

I'll throw him in there.

I don't know where you want to throw him.

Three of those people are for sure on the queer spectrum.

Exactly.

So, you know, I feel like we, as children, we probably picked up on that.

And we kind of got that vibe.

Without really knowing what we were watching.

We were also on the journey they were on.

Which I like that you said.

We were also ourselves locked in that panic room.

And we were just waiting.

Yeah, we were just waiting for someone to let us out.

Waiting to be let out of the panic room.

What we wanted was in that room.

And that was the truth.

Maybe the money.

Maybe the money as well.

Like, yeah.

Maybe a bit of fire.

We're bisexual, we're greedy, we want all of it.

So, you know.

I mean, yeah.

Stereotypes, Charlotte.

Some of them are true.

They're all true.

We want Forest and we want Jodie.

And money.

And money.

And a brown stone of York.

And that is The Panic Room.

So guys, what's given you bi-panic energy this week?

Okay, what's giving me bi-panic energy is that I spent the last 48 hours using plaster to stitch up every crack and hole in my entire house.

Careful.

And so what's giving me bi-panic energy is home improvement.

Oh, interesting.

Oh, I will not be asking for any further elaboration because I know exactly what you mean.

Thank you.

Filling holes, filling holes, it's about as bi as it can get.

Follow that guys.

I'm getting bi-panic energy from Strava this week.

Okay.

I don't know why I don't follow very many people, but the whole thing is just giving me a lot of sexual energy.

Oh, no elaboration.

None.

None.

Love it.

Tessa.

I got bi-panic energy earlier from Instagram.

I was looking at Jonathan Bailey, running his half marathon and his arms.

Sorry, did you just say Bailey?

Well, that is his handle.

What is actually his name?

Jay Bailey.

If Jay Bailey.

Oh, no.

Well, his name is Jonathan Bailey.

Oh, Bailey.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'm going to call him Jonathan Bailey from now on.

Well, it is the Instagram handle, but yeah, it inspired me to go for a run today.

Oh, oh, okay.

Yeah, he's news to me.

His arms.

I was like, those arms.

Yeah, you could just literally get sucked into them.

He is outstanding.

Yeah, he really is.

I kind of want to find him on Strava, though.

Oh, oh, when two energies combine.

Run by him in an arm's walk away.

Yeah.

And to you, Grace, same question.

Oh, sorry, Tessa.

Are you going to go Stockholm?

I'm going to go Stockholm.

Oh, go Stockholm.

We went to Stockholm to watch Taylor Swift's tour and my god, the city is bi-panic energy.

Everywhere you look, the buildings give bi-panic energy.

The water gives, actually, the water was a bit murky.

So I'm going to skip that.

The cleanliness of the streets gave bi-panic energy.

The dogs that were well groomed.

The efficiency of the country.

The bins being emptied every day.

The joy of the people.

The food, the drink, the train to the airport.

The train to the airport, everything.

So clean, so fast.

So expensive.

But worth it.

It's so worth it.

The rooftop bars that you accidentally stumbled into when you're trying to find your way home.

Anyway, it's great.

With all that cardamom mumbler in the atmosphere then.

Made of EPE from the cinnamon.

Fika.

Fika?

It just gets you rock hard.

Unlike the pastries, which is soft as anything.

Melt in the mouth.

Moist.

Oh, that through headphones was visceral.

I'm going to amp up the volume on that one.

I might just cut it and put it somewhere else.

Like there are three things.

Moist.

Fika.

Get the fika out of my house.

Mom, say fika.

That just went so fast.

Okay.

So now we've arrived at the part of the podcast where one person introduces a film that they think should be accepted into The Bi-Panic Room as one of the seminal works with massive BPE.

And the other three have to vote and basically decide whether it is worthy.

So my controversial pick for The Bi-Panic Room is Independence Day.

Oh, is it a really bad time to say that I've never seen that film?

You must be.

Shall we watch Independence Day over the weekend?

Oh, you can tell me.

I feel like I can still grill you on whether it's in like a film.

I think you need to watch it.

Bi-Panic.

You probably need to watch it.

It's a massively straight film.

Oh, it's like lads go to the movie theater to watch it.

Okay, so where is it?

It's a role in an Emmerich film, like Aliens Come to Earth and Will Smith is a fighter pilot.

Is it Bill Paxton?

Not Bill Paxton.

Bill Pullman.

Bill Pullman.

As president.

Okay.

Yeah, who's the female in it?

We have Vivica A.

Fox and we have Mary McDonnell and we have a woman whose name I don't remember, but she's big on my lot.

I need to look at this cast.

She is Margaret Collin.

Are we talking?

As in Kill Bill fame?

Vivica A.

Fox is, yeah.

Yes.

Oh, she plays an exotic dancer in this movie.

Okay.

She's very hot.

Did I get bi-panic energy from Independence Day?

Did it make you question your sexuality is the question?

I mean, are we talking the aliens here, Charlotte?

Or are we talking...

I've got...

I mean, there was a moment.

Really?

Do you see the aliens in the film?

Yes, we do.

Okay, I think in general, what you could say is that Independence Day as a movie, like the first thing you think about, like it's giving straight, it's giving American military propaganda, and it's giving man-kill enemy.

And yet I think it deserves consideration because, okay, on the one hand, we have the men, we have Will Smith at his finest.

He like in the movie balances being a fighter pilot with being a stepdad.

He's got the body, he's got the face.

So handsome.

He's got the line delivery.

Is his taste and engagement brings absolutely abysmal?

Yes it is, but he's a straight man, so he gets a pass.

Then we have Bill Pullman, as you say, as the president.

Not the president we want, but not the president we deserve.

He's sort of like a West Wing inspired apparition.

He's like young, hot.

He's a military guy and a family man.

He gives us 30 second speech that's like really famous that makes you teary-eyed even as a non-American about what an independence day means for the world.

From like alien oppression and he's got like this American is glorious, thick, luxurious hair and like, oh, he is so good.

Like could be my commander in chief any day.

And then we've got the big one, which is Jeff Goldblum.

Now unlike Jurassic Park, they kind of tried to downplay the sex appeal.

Like we're meant to believe that that is what a satellite engineer looks like.

Okay.

But he's still got this like combination of like Adonis with like twitchy behavior.

So it kind of works and he has, I feel like Jeff Goldblum is an actor who like he had like a Jack Sparrow energy before that was a thing.

Like he invented it.

You know, he's got the hair, he's got the glasses, he's got the hands, he's got the flannel.

Like he's a true bike con as an actor and as a character in that movie.

When you say he's got the hands, what hands has he got?

He's just got a lot of hand acting.

Like even Jurassic Park, you know, Chaos Theory, when he like, he touches Laura Dern's hair and like, you know.

Can't wait for that episode.

So good.

I think part of Independence Day's Bi-Panic Energy is the relationship between Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith.

Massive.

It's questionable.

They have a bond and you want to just know what they get up to if they had the opportunity to.

If the road was ending, what would they do?

They have to team up, they have to board the alien spacecraft and go to the mothership, literally, to blow it up.

And who knows what they got up to on the journey to there.

Wow.

All kinds of bisexual energy.

And then we have the women.

So we have Vivica A.

Fox, and she's this beautiful, exotic dancer.

And you see her in a gorgeous outfit, pole dancing.

But she's also sometimes just in a white undershirt, face covered in sexy dirt, telling Will Smith to get shit together because she values herself.

And what gives Bi-Panic energy more than a woman who knows her own worth?

Why is she covered in dirt?

Well, you know, she gets blown up.

She needs to rescue her golden retriever.

Of course she does.

She has a golden retriever.

And then she basically becomes Florence Nightingale.

And she rescues lots of people, including the first lady played by Mary McDonald, who is in the movie for a very short amount of time, but is still incredible and heartbreaking and still looks like a fox as she's bleeding out internally.

Wow.

So there you go.

And then we have Margaret Collin, who is the White House communications Director and Goldblum's ex-wife, you know, she mouths off to him and the president and she can make a pantsuit in the White House work or army boots in the desert.

So she's a woman who can do both.

And that's what it's all about.

And then once again, here we go.

It's a metaphor, guys, because the aliens themselves, you know, are they evil?

Do they want to annihilate us and suck the earth dry?

Yes.

Yes, they do.

But isn't there more to it?

Because they are, you've not seen the movie, but you will remember this.

They, when we see them, they're in these like enormous, enormous sort of flesh suits.

You know, they had these like tentacles that then wrap around the scientist's neck for some non-consensual breath play.

It's really disgusting.

But once they get one and they cut it open, it turns out that it's basically like a protection suit and the aliens inside are actually much smaller, more unprotected, very vulnerable.

They're hiding their true selves in a layer of armor, just like we straight coat sometimes in certain situations.

So the whole thing is a metaphor.

Oh, they're baby pies.

Thank you.

You're taking no questions.

OK, well, you guys have seen it.

Do you, did it give you bi-panic energy?

Well, as it was just thrust upon me, the relationship between Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith is the probably most memorable part that comes from within, because I think when I was watching it in my youth, I just wanted to see them get it on.

Laughing at Tessa.

Trying to keep her.

Excuse me.

Continue Harry.

This week's podcast is sponsored by Boots.

Sorry, Harry, I didn't mean to interrupt.

Yeah, so it was the relationship between the two male leads that needed further exploration in my imagination.

Okay, so it did stir something up.

There was a stirring.

And there you see the aliens in their weird tenticular glory.

And we all know there's a fetish for the tentacles.

Of course.

Google that one when you've got some time.

Okay.

I think we should watch it, it depends on this weekend.

I have years ago, but I do remember being confused watching it.

Oh, okay.

I can actually remember being like, okay, I'm a bit, yeah.

Cause I think the Jeff Goldberg and Will Smith.

Yeah.

Will Smith is someone I never usually would find attractive, but yeah, in Independence Day, I think it's the whole, he's the savior.

He's like, it's a bit like Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis in Amarghettan Day.

It's that whole, like, we're going to save the world combination.

It's like, okay, we can get on board with this.

Like, yeah, it's a vibe.

And I think then with the women there as well, I need to remember, actually, I need to maybe watch it and see, but it was a thing.

So yeah, so we've discussed, there's Will Smith, there's Jeff Goldblum.

So on the women's side, is there a strong enough?

Cause I suppose a bi-panic film needs to have good representation on both sides.

I suppose that's true.

That's the thing.

Or I suppose at least for Harry.

I think a young little boy question what I want from my viewing pleasure.

Yeah.

No, I can remember the ex-wife.

The ex-wife.

She's gorgeous.

I can't remember who.

And she takes no shit.

I feel like it's really difficult for me to vote on this having not seen it, but.

I mean, you almost have to abstain, I feel like.

I might have to abstain.

How high would you rate it on your films of bi-panic, of your youth?

One to ten?

As in, would you, would you, would it be one of your re-watch films because of the fact that it gave you bi-panic?

So do you re-watch it?

Not quite knowing why you're re-watching it, but for some reason wanting to re-watch it because there are people in it that you just want to look at.

A hundred percent.

Okay.

Yeah.

I mean that.

That was confidence.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Don't have to, don't have to think that was a worn out tape.

For a curve ball choice, I would agree.

Okay.

Tessa.

I'd also agree.

Thank you.

I have to abstain, so.

Well, I feel like that is a majority verdict.

I feel like it is.

I feel like that's a three against.

Yeah.

I don't think we have to go unanimous.

No, we don't agree.

We have to be majority.

Makes it boring.

Yeah.

So officially Independence Day is welcomed into the annals of The Bi-Panic Room.

Yeah.

Independence Gay.

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