#11 - the world is not enough (1999)

The millennium…again? No you’re not seeing double. You’re seeing 007. 

Pierce Brosnan’s third outing as James Bond saw us into the early noughties with a hot, action-packed, surprisingly feminist feature that left many shaken, and stirred.

Forget the questionable: accents, science and character names (looking at you, Christmas) and stay for the jet skis, crisp linen suits and antique torture devices.

Bi-panic energies (BPEs) of the week include an almost-gay kiss, a hosts clothing, major city and magazine spread.

Grace tries her best to push the Candy in her thanksgiving-set wildcard pick. Will she succeed?

There’s only one way to find out…

Listen to full episode :

Episode Transcript

[Please note that transcripts are automatically generated so may not be 100% accurate]

Welcome to The Bi-Panic Room, a bi-monthly podcast exploring the films and television series that trigger bisexual panic, aka bi-panic.

James Bond, the world's greatest secret agent, is sent once more into the breach in the name of the Queen country and a dry martini.

In the 19th Bond adventure, 007, also played by Pierce Brosnan, must resolve a potentially deadly power struggle between two unstable nations.

Now, when I first started watching this movie, pipelines, radioactive material, and bombs were not on my periphery.

It was Denise Richards, Pierce Brosnan, and Sophie Mercure, who I'm definitely butchering her name.

Marcel.

Sophie Mercure.

Marcel, the shell with shoes on.

Yeah.

So anyway, the first scene really with Pierce Brosnan just did it for me.

In his suit, he was being held hostage, or he was sent to basically kill an assassin.

And we are then first introduced as the VP moment of the movie for me so far is, I love this because we're doing quite a Bond thing here, which is I don't think we've actually met the title of the film yet.

Have we?

Oh, no.

Oh, but it will come up at some point in the movie, as it always does.

20 minutes before the film ends.

So this is the 19th Bond movie installment of The World Is Not Enough.

And following on from our last episode, Entrapment, it is a pre Y2K Millennium set film.

I know, I'm sorry, Tessa, you might have to say the word Millennium again.

I know what I'm saying.

Millennium.

Okay, it is not my fault, I had a speech impediment growing up, okay.

Did they not teach that word in Ireland?

Well, no, because everyone was so fucking scared of it.

Don't mention it.

It's like Voldemort.

Yeah, that must not be named.

I mean, it didn't quite come in quite good.

1999 plus one.

2000, we used to call it, or 00.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Oh, your computer.

Just reset.

Was it 00?

And then we had our car plates were 00.

Do you have car plates here that were 00?

I don't know what's happening right now.

James Bond.

Speaking of 00, 007.

Nice segue there.

Anyway, the plot starts off with billionaire Mr.

King.

Did we ever learn his first name?

We didn't, did we?

I don't know.

It's not very important.

All we know is that he's a rich billionaire.

He's an oil tycoon and he's building pipelines.

So we start off with the assassination of him.

It's a bit boring to be honest, but it switches straight away to...

Have we skipped the entire opening sequence?

No, I'm leading to it.

He hasn't been killed yet.

Oh yeah, but it's leading to the assassination of him.

Sorry.

Spoilers.

I mean, he is so unimportant and everywhere.

That's what I mean.

I'm like, you skipped the cigar lady.

But he's the most insignificant man.

Would you like to check my figures?

This is the type of, I think, peak Brosnan like sexist humour where you're like, thank god you could never get away with it.

Not a chance.

It really ages poorly.

I feel like he could though.

I feel like if he said it, I'd be like, that is the problem.

If one person, if one man on the face of this planet could get away with it, it would be Pierce Brosnan.

And then you get completely sleazy people trying to pretend they're Pierce Brosnan saying, oh, I'm sure your figures are perfectly rounded.

Get away from me, you pervert.

Yeah.

But during this first fight scene, we see Pierce Brosnan basically jumping out of a window after almost, he then clocks that this lady known as Cigar Lady spread in credits.

Iconic name.

Iconic name.

Feminism at its best.

Fun fact, had actually auditioned to play Elektra.

I got that from Grace earlier.

But her English apparently wasn't very good.

Well, I think that wouldn't have mattered all that much.

She would have probably been very good in that role.

No, because then we wouldn't have got Sophie Marceau.

No, no.

Are you sure she was meant to play Elektra?

Yes, she was.

And they said that her language wasn't good enough.

She really shot her shot there.

She should have done an audition for Christmas Jones.

So they said, here you go.

Doctor Christmas Jones.

They said, close but no cigar.

So they go, bam, bam.

Eww.

Sorry, Tessa, we're absolutely derailing you.

No, I like it.

But it leads us to this first, I would say iconic scene in the movie, where she is, shoots through, she has shot someone from her boat after, it was after MI6 got blown up.

She made a very quick move to that boat.

So actually at the stage, MI6 had been blown up and Mr.

King had been assassinated.

Yeah, the money was the bomb.

The money was the bomb.

I'm thinking about her in the Swiss bank or wherever they are.

They're in Spain randomly.

Oh yeah.

So James Bond, anyway, our hero, has spat her through the big massive gaping hole in MI6, which was like query.

Anyway, there's no way to speak about M.

You do not disrespect Dame Judy like that.

Thank you very much.

No, maybe Moneypenny.

Yeah, the gaping hole of Moneypenny.

Guys, put some respect on her name.

Charlotte, you just wish you were saying this.

This is true to be fair.

So through this big gaping hole, Pierce is like James Bond spots a cigar lady going off on her speedboat, and he's like, I'm going to go to the invention room and I'm going to go chase her on the Thames.

So he gets into this Batmobile-like boat, like looks fab, jet ski, but has a roof on it and jets out onto the Thames.

It ends up being this six, seven minutes long of him basically avoiding every possible boat.

He ends up on the road.

She is just hair flying all over the place, driving her big massive speedboat, very well, by the way, then down all the random canals in London, which I never knew existed.

There's an undercover scene with Pierce.

Oh, when he adjusts his tie underwater.

That was so wild.

Apparently Brosnan did that himself.

That was his idea.

He doesn't just do it in this one.

He does it in all of them.

Oh, that's it.

It's like his little nod to.

So I like the water tie.

Ron Boyd, that Pierce Brosnan is the best James Bond.

Anyway, you got to say Sean Connery.

No.

No, I wasn't, but now I think you were.

Not dying, Craig.

I'm gonna pause.

Anyway, moving on.

Timothy Dalton.

You are into the older men.

Anyway, moving on.

So as this scene ends, very abruptly, when Pierce launches himself onto this hot air balloon that...

I thought you were going to say the Millennium Dome.

That scar lady has stolen, which is right next to the Millennium Dome.

And she's up in the air, like after hijacking this hot air balloon.

Which by the way, is the least effective getaway vehicle of all time.

Like let's go float in the air.

The one that was also tied.

You're gonna have to come down somewhere.

And we'll be able to see you from a mile off.

You can see those virgin balloons.

Where did you think you were going?

I thought she was Team Rocket.

And then James Bond very acrobatically is hanging off this rope, being like, I can help you.

Whoever is trying to kill you, I will protect you.

And she's like, no one can help me.

And then she basically commits suicide by shooting the gas canister, blowing her up.

In the meantime, James is like, I must let go.

And he absolutely slams on to the Meliomdome, rolls down it.

And that's actually a scene I was like, oh my God, there's this big white thing he falls on to.

And then I was like, oh, it's the Meliomdome.

And I think when I watched this as a child.

Oh, you had no idea what was going on.

I had absolutely no idea where this was in London.

And I remember thinking, God, like now watch it as a, he would be a major trauma by 10.

Oh, absolutely.

Swinging up of it.

So yeah, I think that first opening scene, just so many moments already, just hitting it into that bi-panic category.

I think we just have a special nod for the outfit of Cigar Lady, the red leather all in one, giving O'Renny Shee style assassination attempt.

So it's a big tic for me.

Little nod for Kill Bill there.

I thought you said big tic for you.

That's how I phrased that.

I mean, you are a tic man, aren't you?

I'm a tic guy, as you know.

So we then go on to back over to Julie Dench and they're back in MI6.

Don't forget the credits.

Oh, the credits.

Oh, excuse me.

We do the next iconic part of the movie, which is the James Bond opening credits of and the theme song, The World Is Not Enough.

You ready, Harry?

Is it my time?

It's your time.

Pretty good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Garbage, some might say.

Which honestly really took me by surprise.

Yeah, I was like, who does sing this?

I was like, this can't be right.

Yeah, for anyone, I'm not calling Harry garbage.

The people that wrote and performed the song were in fact the band garbage.

And if anyone cannot remember them, they do an iconic song.

Why do you love me?

What do you love me?

They had some bangers, actually, didn't they?

They have a curve ball choice at the time, but then put a few strings to their vocals.

And it was an epic song.

This is a fantastic song.

And I think generally James Bond opening credits are obviously incredibly iconic.

And yes, most of them are sexist, but when they're good, they're kind of great.

And I think this one started out, when it starts out with the oil, you're like, oh, this is a really cool effect for the time that we're talking about.

And then at some point, I do think it veers a bit into Windows movie maker.

You can tell that the effects weren't where they are now, but overall, you're like, this is a pretty strong.

That rainbow slick effect of the oil did look like a screen saver.

This was a bit 2D, but good effort.

It was giving us a preview for the movie, really, of oil.

This is true.

The pipelines of Kazakhstan.

Foreshadowing.

So we're back in MI6, we're back with Judy Dench, we're back with the whole gang.

In the meantime, Pierce Brosnan has sprung his clavicle, so he basically has, I wouldn't even say a broken shoulder, like a dislocated shoulder-ish.

Yeah, it's an injury that appears and disappears throughout the film.

Yeah, he has them when needed.

For convenience sake, normally.

And to be honest, my next bi-panic moment in this movie is him seducing his way out of going back into the line of duty by seducing Dr.

Molly, who is, that's all she's known by.

Oh, to me, anyway.

No, do you know what her full name is?

No.

Dr.

Molly Warm Flash.

I am not making that up.

I looked it up.

Yeah, that's right.

Warm Flash.

Warm Flash.

She should also be struck off.

I was just going to say because he definitely doesn't have to seduce a whole lot, you know what I mean?

She is good to go.

And it's not a first time offence, is it?

No.

You didn't call me last time.

You sprung your shoulder, I'll put it back in place.

Just bashing that ACJ.

So we're then back to...

I cannot.

If anything, Molly is like the let down there.

Yeah, cause I was like, Molly, no offence to Molly's around the world, but it's not the name that would come to mind straight away.

Wow.

So we're then back with the gang again, and James is back on duty.

Molly Gaping Hole.

Molly Gaping Hole.

Gaping Hole, One Flash.

I mean, it's like Pussy Galore.

True.

Yeah.

That name was thrown around so easily.

It's basically someone's got a thesaurus out and gone synonym for Pussy Galore.

Molly One Flash will do.

Quim Galore.

Which is actually a real word.

How would you say it in German?

I'm not going to know if we're not doing that.

I wouldn't even know what the historic word for that is in German.

How do you say pussy in German?

Don't say it.

We don't teach you anything.

No, I think that's really tough because you have like, say it.

What's the colloquialism of?

I honestly don't know what to say.

You know it.

You're just afraid to say it.

Like, so like, the word for vagina would be vagina.

Okay, but that's not really giving pussy.

That's anatomical.

That's not giving pussy.

How do you say cat?

Cat-sir.

Cat-sir, okay, and how do you say galore?

Sorry, we're treating you like a performing monkey here.

Queen's sweating.

Stop saying it.

Say it, say it, say it, Anakin, say it.

Charlotte, I'm just gonna put it through Google Translate at this rate.

Do you know what?

You probably have to, because I genuinely don't know what our German equivalent for pussy would be.

There's a word called, like, mushy, but.

My mushy.

But you would not use that in the way that we use pussy.

Oh, okay, and how about galore?

You would just say galore.

Oh, isn't that like galore-sk?

Well, galore is probably a bit Germanic.

Yes, because German and Russian are the same language.

This is obviously pivotal to the plot.

Not to me editing this.

You'll have a great time.

Anyway, guys, I know you regret it now, but we're back with Judi Dench.

She is giving pussy.

No, not Judi Dench.

No, she's gonna set us up, the woman.

Do you, I mean, she is babe, and we should respect her whatever age she is.

She could get it in this movie.

Oh yeah.

Oh, she could.

Yeah.

But I'm just wondering where you're gonna go with that.

M stands for Molly Womblash Machine.

Now you can't cut it out.

Anyway, back to Mushy Dench.

Dame Mushy Dench.

Dame Mushy Dench.

Anyway, back to Em.

So we're back with the gang, we're back in MI6, and we are kind of half introduced then to Sophie Marceau, who is playing the character Electric King.

We had seen Glimpsefur at the beginning, because she is the daughter to the Mr.

King who died, whatever his first name is.

I was trying to make more names now.

Mr.

Fucking.

Anyway, we hear that, Electra, her story is she has been kidnapped, the bailout was never paid for her, and so she's a bit salty, but she's devastated, she's a victim.

There is straight away, I think, a bit of tension between her and James.

Actually, they had met at this age, sorry.

But there is, you know, James, who is so intelligent and shows us why he's a member of MI6, is able to look up and he works out that the same amount of money that was held for ransom was the same amount of money that Mr.

King got killed by, because he went into this top secret MI6 database and typed in three million pounds is five million dollars.

And I was like, wow, like this is what people got into MI6 for the 90s.

And the exchange rate had not changed a cent.

And he was like gasped to Judy Dench to them.

And he was like, oh, you know, I think it's all connected.

There has to be connection between the kidnapper and Electric King and the money that killed her father.

And she's like, your shoulder is dislocated.

And he's like, no, I've got a new bit of health because I slept with Molly Warmflesh.

So, so.

Well, I mean, that's probably not by accident.

Yeah, so we then get a bit of introduction to Electric King.

She is this, she's a power bad bitch.

She's taking over the pipeline.

She is so beautiful and has so much fucking presence.

It is unbelievable.

Yeah.

And I think when she comes in and you see that scene, she's like telling people what to do.

She's like working on her father's pipeline.

And you're like, OK, this is really unsexy plot.

But you go for a girl.

She's the boss.

And then, you know, he comes in, Pierce Brosnan slash James, and he's like, oh, I'm here.

I'm here to be a contractor.

And she's like, bye, see you later.

Am I interested?

Kind of thing.

And she's, you know, she's like, I'm here to basically extend to the pipeline to send gas.

It just goes into some relevant story that you're like, OK, cool.

Just like the second anything of that plot comes up, you're just like, not listening.

White noise.

White noise.

Pipelines, pipelines, pipelines.

Like, it's boring.

She wants to reclaim, like, her mother's homeland.

And she's being nice to the locals.

Because she basically makes clear like, this is where her family's from.

Her mother's family discovered oil on that land before she ever married the dad.

And so we're meant to assume that she's then, because they're in Azerbaijan, so she's meant to be Azerbaijani, I guess.

They never really go into, what are we talking about here, you know, historically?

She speaks Russian, doesn't she?

Yeah.

Does she?

She does.

Yeah.

So anyway, she's like, bye James.

See you later.

I'm not interested.

And he's like, okay.

And then he picks up some skis and he's like, I'm going to come to the next pipeline with you.

So off they go.

And they do this, again, gorgeous ski down the slope, which doesn't involve the use of a functioning shoulder at all.

No, but the scene, the music, it's all very, oh, how romantic.

How do they leap from the helicopter straight onto the slopes?

Hold her step.

So they're just skiing down, looking at these pipelines.

It has all come back to the pipelines.

And the next thing, these absolute guys on flying parachutes come towards them on jet skis that are in the sky.

And it's the next, everything's a jet ski in the film.

The theme is jet ski.

Jet ski with a parachute.

But this is the next fight scene we have, which is James, you know, I said it to you, what would you do in the situation?

I'm like, you go over there, I'll lead him into the trees.

And you're like, I'd lead them into the trees.

I was like, I don't think you would.

I think I'd be leading them to the trees.

Harsh.

What would you?

Yeah.

Anyway, so he...

Take my skis off and hit them.

As a hit with the machine guns coming at you and they're flying at you on their jet skis.

Okay.

So James, he orically skis away and we don't really see what kind of she does.

She kind of goes off to the side and he manages to go into this next fight scene of fighting off these flying jet skis literally with the machine guns.

And the next, there's a very cool scene where he spots they were both coming together and just dramatic jump off, slices the parachute of one of them that then puts them off course and crashes straight into the other one flying straight at them.

And I was like, that's very hot.

But then they forgot that there's actually an avalanche could be caused from this explosion.

So good thing James has his next crafty invention, which is the coat that turns into a big puff ball.

It's like those new devices they make for old people to wear.

Yeah, I think it's fab.

That just inflates us so they don't fracture their hips.

It's amazing.

That's a real thing nowadays.

Yeah, like super quick inflating things.

Yeah, we've already taken 20, how many years?

25 years?

27 years to make one, but I don't know.

So Elektra absolutely freaks out in the under the snow in this puff ball because she is obviously recovering from being a victim of kidnapping.

And, you know, she goes into hyperventilation.

He's all like, I'm here, I'm here.

You like relax.

And it's an aggressive shaking going on in there.

Yeah, but I think they're basically trying to stop her from having a panic attack.

Yeah.

And he's like, just like, shut the fuck up basically.

Look at my eyes.

Look at my eyes.

I'll sleep with you later.

Which she does.

But I think their chemistry in that scene, even though it is straight away, I think they just had chemistry from the get go.

And it was like that thing of, who am I more attracted to here?

Sophie or Pierce?

Or both?

Or both.

Sophie is stealing a lot of her scenes.

She does such a great job.

Her outfits are just outstanding.

And she wears everything so well.

No, she does.

And then we go to this next...

Sorry, I have actually skipped the whole casino scene because I don't really care.

Look, skip it.

Yeah, so except for Robert, all you're missing is Robbie Coltrane going very, very strongly from Scottish to Russian, kind of, and back again.

Do you know what I was thinking, though, watching this?

Like, I think that that man is quite attractive in this film to me.

Robbie Coltrane.

It's about as hot as he's going to get, I'd say.

He's got presence, for sure.

In his tux.

Yeah.

He's just big, you know.

Takes a little.

I'm just looking at my notes here.

I've wrote, victim energy for her.

For Electra.

For Electra.

It's weird, because she's like, it damns it in distress.

You kind of, like, she's bringing in that, like, of people coming around her.

She's got that strength and that vulnerability.

Yes.

She's playing it.

I think that's the thing, isn't it, that she managed to bring both of them to the table.

But then, snap, she commands that room.

Yeah.

Like, men are falling at her feet.

Yeah.

By the noter, voice, clothes and power.

I mean, I do think it is worth pointing out that, like, as, you know, kind of uninteresting as the casino scene is, like, that dress that she's wearing, this, like, glittery, like, blood red, almost like negligee top of it.

I was like, that is what I wanted Katherine's later Jones to wear in entrapment.

Yeah.

Right.

You're watching it yesterday.

That's the dress she deserves to wear.

Yeah.

This Bond got it right.

Exactly.

So, back to the loose platter around here.

We then also get introduced to big, bad man terrorist, Renard, who's played by James Carlyle.

Carlyle?

Robert Carlyle.

Robert Carlyle.

Big, bad terrorist played by Robert Carlyle.

Also a Scottish Russian in this.

Accents are used interchangeably.

Now, this guy, again, very true to science, got shot in the head and, as a result, I love his backstory.

Is still alive but has no feelings.

So he can't feel anything, he can't touch anything, or he can't feel any touch.

He doesn't feel any pain, basically, but also gets stronger with time, but also weaker with time.

I was like, this makes no sense.

And the bullet is still moving through his Modella oblongata.

Yeah.

Just to say a scientific word to make it sound real.

I'd like to argue that he may not be able to feel physically, but I think he feels emotionally.

Inside, he's a vulnerable sad man.

He's a vulnerable sad man and we should...

He is.

And you know what?

I think he gets touted as one of the weaker villains, but I actually, I really like him because he is so tragic.

Yeah.

I love a bit of Robert Carlow.

Yeah, same.

He keeps saying he's already dead.

It's just like that's some emo.

You feel no pain.

Listening to Mad World.

Listening to Mad World.

So that's brewing the background to this bad man terrorist.

Who is he?

What is he up to?

He must be connected to either the assassination.

He's the man who kidnapped her, isn't he?

And the kidnap, yeah.

And so they're all like, you know, what does he want?

What is the goal?

And, you know, obviously, James is now at this stage, very much too busy to think about it because he is, him and Elektra are like getting it down, getting it hot.

Oh, that red glittery dress was on the hotel floor.

It was on the floor.

There was champagne.

I was like, this looks fab.

I was a bit jealous.

I mean, bi-panic scene, ice, the use of ice between noses.

Jesus Christ.

They were swapping ice between their mouths.

Yeah, hot, but also cold.

More science.

So anyway, we have their attention glowers.

So then in the middle of the night, James sneaks out and he's like, right, there's something going on here.

I'm going to go for a walk and investigate.

And he finds the next bad man that we come along, so all these agents are being turned and this next guy has been, he's also, because he's a lector, he's confident, isn't he?

Davidoff.

Yeah, and he basically, James is like, well, I'm going to kill you.

So in the middle of the night, James sneaks off, leaves the lector in bed.

Why?

Anyway.

That's his first mistake.

Yeah, he shouldn't have done that.

And he comes across one of the third agents, Davidoff.

And he basically has been, we know he is basically one of Renard's men.

And he had had his hand absolutely seared off by Renard, after putting a hot stone on it.

It was just a very unnecessary torture scene.

But I don't know.

And James is like, I'm just going to shoot you, because he does, and he can.

So he kind of murders this guy for no reason.

And he takes his ID and off he goes off to this plane.

So at this stage, we are like, what's going on here?

So we have then James basically walking up to this plane.

And this plane is with all these big Russian guys.

I want to say Russian.

And they're like, who are you?

And he's like, where's Davantov?

And he's like, oh, it's me now.

So he went, he managed to talk his way into this plane and he then gets his ID sorted.

And he's now basically becoming this radiation scientist of quantum physics.

Is that kind of what he is?

That's the role he was born to play.

He's Dr.

Something rather.

He's Dr.

some Russian name.

So he lands at this site and he's like, right, what's going on here?

And next thing, there's all this commotion coming out of the ground.

And here comes our introduction of Dr.

Christmas Jones, i.e.

Denise Richards.

Now, I was extremely disappointed rewatching this moment because I can remember it when I was younger thinking, wow, she is hot, like she's so cool.

Like I want that outfit.

And then rewatching it, I was like, what was wrong with me?

Why was I?

I think we all asked that question.

How am I, how am I gay?

I take it back.

No, I take it all back now.

And why was I not team Sophie Marceau?

Because she is, I just, I cannot get over my younger self.

Now I will say Pierce Brosnan has just further molded into me.

I've molded into him.

Congratulations.

Yeah, when did this happen?

I'm surprised I didn't show up in a suit today.

And they have their first interaction.

And like, let's be real, there's not much chemistry.

There's not much really going on at all.

She also doesn't show up in the movie up until an hour in, where like it's almost too late for anybody to like...

We've established our hotness and we've established our characters.

Exactly.

And that's all she's really bringing to the table.

She was also way too young.

I think she said herself that like, what was I doing in that movie?

Like, I think it's like not her fault.

You know, I think they just made a massive mistake casting her in this role.

Yeah, all her interviews afterwards about how terrified she was on set.

And she just wasn't really enjoying the moment at all.

Everyone's really nice to her, but I think she was just terrified.

She was advertepped slightly by the way, but...

And they gave her the stupidest name!

Christmas joke.

But you know that the only reason they gave her that name is because somebody saw the joke, that is the last line of the film, and it was like, this is the only reason we're going to give this character.

Totally, yeah, because it's not really a plot at all.

No, but there's no reason for it, yeah.

Is it even Christmas?

Oh, it is Christmas.

And I kind of feel sorry for Denise Richards, though, now.

I'm more really up about it, because I think it kind of shows in her acting, but she just seems like a step behind in every scene almost.

And I think it's such a disconnect from her character, who's meant to be this shit hot, really smart, like nuclear scientist, who's like the top of her game.

And she's then all of a sudden, like looking at James as if like, oh, wow, a hot man has appeared.

You know, it's very so.

And then she starts to suspect him straight away.

And she makes a comment about in Russian being like, oh, how's your Russian?

He's like, oh, very good.

I studied it.

Did he say he studied Oxford at this stage?

And then walked off.

And then with such a sick English accent, by the way, is that his Russian?

I was like, okay.

Not enough to convince anybody.

No, exactly.

And he picks up his little radiation badge and off he goes down into this bunker.

And he was like, right, what's going on here in this bunker?

It's obviously going to be some nuclear bomb.

And again, I was just a bit taken aback by the amount of plutonium being thrown around there.

And then so he comes downstairs, sees Reynard and his crew basically stealing this bomb, but doing it in front of everyone.

So then James is like, I'm going to put my gun here, I'm going to cause a scene, which again, from an MIC6 agent, you'd maybe question there are better ways to do it, especially with all these explosives around the place.

But anyway, in the meantime, Christmas comes along with her supervisor and is like, he's an imposter.

This isn't the real doctor, the Russian guy.

And he's like, no, Renard is a terrorist and he's trying to steal this bomb.

So it turns into the next fight sequence that we have, which is highly dangerous, where machine guns that are being thrown out, everyone's being shot at.

They have these barrels of radioactive material everywhere.

Yeah.

No one's in protective wear, really.

Just avoid the plutonium while you're shooting up these machine guns.

Yeah.

So Renard gets free with the bomb and that's it.

And then Renard is gone on this plane.

And then Christmas is like, Oh, well, golly, we have a transmitter on all of them.

So we'll be able to track him wherever he goes.

And James is like, do you mean this transmitter?

And like in that moment, you're like, why the fuck did you take the transmitter?

Like it's a pretty dumb thing to do.

Yeah.

Well, one of Renard's men stole it.

So he took it out of the pocket.

He took it out of the pocket.

Oh, he did take it out of the pocket.

Yeah.

Sorry.

But still, you'd be like, right.

So then they're backing him.

I six again and they're all bamboozled as to...

And now Christmas has appeared and Electro is in.

They're both in the same room.

And there's a bit of, oh, like, who are you?

And it's kind of like...

Another female.

I instantly feel competitive.

Yes.

I said, Christmas, you've met James five minutes ago and he's lied to you pretty much for the whole three of those five minutes.

Anyway.

And yet you're eyeing up Electro, who is, let's be real, is your boss probably also at a different ball game at the moment.

Oh, yeah.

So they're trying to work on her being your boss.

Oh my God.

You'd do whatever she wants.

You would, wouldn't you?

Imagine the appraisals.

Where'd you see yourself in five years' time?

With the choke chair.

Willingly and gladly.

With ice all over our bodies.

There's a pipeline joker now somewhere.

So they're back at MI6, all bamboozled about what's happening there.

Where is the bomb going?

What is the goal of the bomb?

In the meantime, we hear a bit of background about this pipeline, that there are three or four other competitors that basically supply the world's supply of oil.

And is this going to be applied to basically put the nuclear bomb, blow up a pipeline in the meantime, and basically cause absolute chaos across the world?

So James and Christmas come up with the, I mean, I feel like there's better solutions to this, but they're like, we're going to go into the pipeline and we're going to get the bomb to chase us at 70 miles an hour.

So they get into this pipeline jet ski.

That's the theme of the movie.

Everything is a jet ski.

But it actually is probably the best thing to describe it in whatever you call that.

Anyway, so they're in this pipeline and he's like, push it.

And she's like, I want to go above 40 miles an hour because we're on this literally thing that could kill us if we stop.

In the meantime, this bomb comes up behind them that looks like a nuclear bomb.

And he's like, great, okay, we're on to the nuclear bomb now.

We're going to look at it.

And then she basically clocks that, oh, it's been tampered with and there's no plutonium in it.

So then they come up with this grand plan to blow themselves up in the pipeline because it's not a nuclear bomb.

I mean, still fairly dangerous when they jump out, what, eight seconds to go.

Risky move.

About 70 miles an hour.

So it's still a bit of a bomb, but I've looked at it and it's not going to kill me bomb.

In 60 seconds, jumping off a jet ski at 70 miles an hour in a concrete pipe is probably going to kill you.

Well, also, how do you know there's nothing in that pipe?

But like it's meant to transport gas.

How do we not know there's gas where it runs through?

I would, anyway, a lot of questions that don't get answered.

Back to MI6 and there's still bamboos as to what the plan could be.

And they basically realize, so they see the pipeline explode and they're like, oh, James must be dead again.

Oh, no.

And I think this is probably one of Electra's best scenes where there were suspicions all along that was she secretly bad man in this?

And she then turns around to do dents and she's like, well, you never paid my ransom, so you're now dead.

And she's like, take her away.

And do dents again, you would think she's this mastermind and she's like, has fallen for even Electra in this game.

And we don't find out the whole...

Judy had Bi-Panic.

I mean, who wouldn't?

She was like, do whatever you want to block me up.

Put me in chains.

There's a reason I didn't pay your ransom.

I was also coming to kidnap you.

So meantime, they think James is dead with Christmas, which is no loss.

Christmas is cancelled, Fisher Kiss.

Christmas is cancelled forever.

And we're taken away.

And then we basically discover that Renard and Electra have been all along an item.

And then becomes this power play struggle between the two of them, because it's this thing of, he's like, well, did you sleep with him?

And she's like, yes, I did.

And he could feel it.

She makes some things about that he can't feel anything.

She's been really, really harsh to him, basically pointing out that, like, of course, that was better sex because, you know, he can fully engage in it and Renard cannot.

It's really horrible.

But then I feel like you do almost want to like, whether she then regrets it, you know, when he like reacts negatively to it.

And I will say it.

So then there's that scene where it's like, you can't feel, you know, sensation the same way, but can you feel this?

And that's when she has like the ice cube and like, like has it travel down her face and down her body.

And I'm sorry, it is really horrible.

It is so fucking horrible.

Erotica to the max.

And he looks a bit unbothered.

He can't feel anything.

He's not reacting to anything.

He's watching it all going on.

Yeah.

She could sell ice to Eskimos.

Oh my God.

Yes, it's a Stockholm Syndrome situation that has just been turned on its head.

Well, I think that's the interesting question, isn't it?

Because the whole thing is that he had kidnapped her to extort money and wasn't paid and she somehow made it back home.

And she does the need to say when she realized nobody was coming to save her, she would have to figure it out herself.

So she seduced her guards and then-

Used her body.

And then she seduced Renat.

And so I think the thing is that at this point, he has no more power.

Like she has all the power over him and he's basically become her puppet, which I think is really interesting because it's not necessarily the kind of, I think, power dynamic you expect of a Bond from this particular age.

Yeah, that's the thing, because you can't really call-

I know you were saying earlier, people were saying that Renat was a poor villain.

It's because he's not the villain.

Yeah, exactly.

She's the mastermind behind all of it.

And she's a fab villain.

She's incredible.

I think she's one of the best villains.

Yeah.

100% ever, but in banned histories.

And it's giving this character so much backstory.

We learn so much about her.

Yeah.

But then we get to the opportunity to have a bit of backstory about Christmas.

So Bond asks her, so what brought you to Kazakhstan?

And she's like, staying away from questions like that.

Bookshut.

Nothing.

We learn nothing about this, about Christmas.

Who called you Christmas?

There's got to be a reason.

Big, well into festivities.

What's going on?

Did you have a harried home life?

I feel like she did.

So yeah, I'm kind of lost where we are in the plot now.

So he got so distracted by Sophie Marceau.

Even with the villains.

But to add to the whole Sophie Marceau point, which is what you said earlier as well, Grace, that actually her character is all coming from feeling that she's not been made valued by her own father who's now dead.

That the Empire was not going to be given to her.

The Empire was going to the brother-in-law.

Yeah, if anything, she's quite a feminist villain.

Her backstory is driven by the fact that her mother was not given the inheritance she deserved.

It was her mother's family that did all the...

I know you say you weren't paying attention to the pipeline, but when you look, I'll pay attention when she's talking about it.

Yeah, her mother wasn't given the inheritance she deserved.

It was her mother's family that discovered all this oil, and it was her dad, so the son-in-law was given the family pipeline.

And so when James is like, Oh, your father's legacy, she says, my family's legacy, and that's a little hint of what's to come.

And she's just like, yeah, I want to be a boss ass bitch.

I'm going to be the villain.

I'm going to take the pipeline back.

And that's why she's doing this.

And really, if anything, I support her.

I'm kind of team electron when you put it like that.

Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, except, okay, we want her to, you know, inherit her family's legacy and to reclaim it in the name of her, you know, her mother's, her matriarchal family and not the dad.

Maybe we don't want her to blow up a pipeline in the Bosporus that would kill lots and lots of people.

Too far.

And when she tries to kill Judy, you know, we also don't necessarily want that.

It would be a geopolitical nightmare if this went through.

I mean, I think it's very simple to get back at you because Judy was willing to let her die.

So Judy has.

Judy is also a boss bitch, though, and they should recognize each other as that.

And they should just join forces and get married.

And it's fine.

And there is a massive slap between the two of them.

Oh my god, the slapping in this film is great.

Hair everywhere.

Slap energy.

Electric hair.

Oh my god, I was like, I instantly was like, I need to take a photo of this to my hairdresser and be like, can you think I get away with this?

It's very 90s vibe, isn't it?

Great bangs.

So feathered.

I was going to say that must be really annoying though in her eyes all the time.

You constantly have to go for touch ups.

She's shaking her head a lot.

Especially in the humidity of those Azerbaijani oil fields, that's the best place to have a fringe going on.

She rocked it.

She's holding high, she's kept it.

I need aqua frozen.

So moving back, I'm really speeding along this plot.

We're moving to the next part of where we pretty much get the grasp of what the big plans are.

Basically, she, so Lectra is using Renard to steal a submarine.

Oh yeah.

There's a random.

An underwater jet ski if you will.

Actually, they probably have underwater jet skis on it.

There's a whole other, like I think backstory, I've just kind of half skipped over because it's just that man being put into the.

We don't care.

The caviar.

We don't care.

Oh yeah.

I will say, my only moment that I've missed from that, there was a big random, again, like fight jumping scene that goes on for about five minutes too long for my liking of when the helicopter with the saws hanging off it.

Oh yeah.

Slice through that whole harbour and slice through that Z4 or Z3 BMW.

I was just in that moment as well.

I was like, oh, that was a bit, kind of give me the bi-panic energy.

I'm not sure why.

Destruction of a BMW.

Destruction of just a whole pier with these saws.

It's like, okay, it's an interesting way to destroy an area.

Anyway, so we basically find out through a load of different connections that Renard and Elektra have this grand plan.

It's all Elektra's plan, but she's using Renard to essentially go blow up this part of the pipeline that's going to affect the four other major competitors, which will make her pipeline the main distributor to the world of oil.

But in the meantime, it's a phosphorus bomb, which is where the radiation bomb being stolen from, a plutonium comes into it.

But it's also going to kill eight million people.

So if it didn't kill eight million people, I might have been on board with it.

Yeah, it had to all congregate into Istanbul.

I don't know why it couldn't be in the countryside, but no, it had to be in Istanbul.

It had to be in Istanbul.

How long is this pipeline?

They could have gone through that ski park.

Population zero would have been fine.

Let's go to Istanbul.

No one would have noticed.

So the jigs are real.

James and Christmas survive.

The harrow are being cut to shreds by this helicopter flying saw device thing.

And the jet ski of the sky.

The jet ski of the sky.

The jet ski of the sky.

They ultimately find that the plan is on the submarine as well.

So they then arrive on the submarine very quickly again.

Very similar to, I think, entrapment of just flying to...

Yeah, how did they get on the submarine again?

Well, Pierce did an absolutely outstanding two episodes in a row reference, Pocahontas swan dive.

Wow.

After he emerged from the torture device.

Is this before or after the torture device?

Oh, oh, sugar.

Yeah, this is...

They get caught at the harbour, don't they?

Sorry.

Yeah, so they get caught at the harbour and they get taken to the island where Julie Dench is also being kept captive.

And that's when we find out.

Then Sophie Marceau has Christmas Jones already delivered to Renard, to the submarine.

No idea why.

For some reason she's like, oh, give him, like, here you go.

Just tactically place her there.

Christmas present for you.

Boom.

Sorry, I missed probably the most iconic scene of this whole movie.

I think it made an entire generation gay.

Oh, the chair.

Or might have their neck pressed.

Definitely a Bi-Panic moment.

I mean, it definitely made you want to be a person, like sitting down and a beautiful woman in a gorgeous dress sits down on top of you.

Just her being controlling that moment.

The villain dress and the way she sits there.

Oh my God.

The crunching of the wheel behind us.

So set up the scene.

He's in a very crisp white linen suit.

He rocks up in that blue shirt.

Blue shirt.

I think everybody's imagined that scene when they're both people.

I want to be James.

I want to be a lecturer.

I want to be the chair.

I will sit in the corner and watch it.

It's all fine.

Where did he get that suit, by the way?

Reese.

Because was he wearing it the whole time during that Tarabird take-down?

He got dressed after he nearly died in the pipeline.

He decided, do you know what?

Life's too short.

I'm going to wear my good suit.

So for my next near-death experience.

He's taken hostage too.

In the meantime, that's how they found out where Judy Dench was as well, because she had the transponder that was meant to have been on the nuclear bomb.

Oh, she stole a little 9-volt battery to get it going.

I got it going.

Finally, some of her spy training comes into action.

She's been a bit lacking.

When she knocked over the clock though as a girl, come on.

Anyway, so Pierce, James Bond, arrives on this island.

Judy Dench is there and Electra is there.

And so it's when Electra basically tells all her plan to James Bond, which is what I've decided in the last five minutes, of what we find out.

And James is like, but like, why are you doing this?

And she's like, I want it all.

And anyway, she then sits him down in the chair.

He is the chair and she sits.

He is the chair and it has this, it's a torture device from the 16th century.

It's called a garrote.

I read the whole Wikipedia.

Wow.

Do you want one in your house?

I absolutely do not.

That was used as a method of execution until the 1900s.

What?

Yes.

It's also a beautiful chair, like the paneling.

She was like, they found this while they did some excavation.

I was like, this is not, this is not Roman level architecture.

What are you talking about?

I'm thinking, please send your grandmother's house.

Exactly.

What did grandma get up to on the Johnny Oilfields?

So James is having this boat pushed into the back of his neck, while his arms or his hands are handcuffed down by his side.

Electra is wearing this sheer top dress.

Gorgeous embroidery on the top, and then this beautiful, almost like silk skirt.

Oh, and her jewelry throughout the movie has been big statement earrings as well, because she looks like a glam gal.

But the reason she's wearing such huge earrings that cover half her lobes is because she had to hurt herself to prove a point when she was being held hostage.

Yeah, so that's why she has these big statement earrings, because she had to cut off a bit of her earlobe.

Yeah, and did she make comment that Renner, she was like getting Renner to do it and he couldn't do it?

Yes, and she did it herself.

I think the show again, he's just...

He genuinely loves her.

He's a misunderstood man, is he?

Yeah.

Bear all the terrorism.

And I think it leads to one of the most iconic scenes of the movie then, when she is like, I could have...

What did she say to him?

I could have given you the world.

I could have given you the world, and he just like fights back, and he's like, the world is not enough.

Cue garbage.

Yeah.

And then we actually have...

So we have a very random character then, who has been playing...

He's the guy who was in the Caravior pit earlier.

He has somehow escaped, and he is still half alive, and he ends up being able to, after being shot by Elektra, in this whole scene going down, manages to shoot James Bond's cough, that manages to set it free.

He can set himself, get out of this chokehold charge, and why he'd want to get out of it.

And Elektra just dramatically just runs away from him.

And he's like, bye.

And once up the house, it's kind of like a scary movie.

It's a girl running out the door.

Why are you running up three staircases?

And it's like the slow motion, her running up her hair is in the wind, the skirt is going everywhere.

And then James is sprinting up after her.

And then Julie Denton, in the meantime, is after knocking over the clock and is trying to get out.

So he goes back, frees her, and then finds Elektra up at the top, and that's where they have the big massive showdown.

And they have the iconic scene was then, was it?

Cause she's like, you won't shoot me.

And he's like, Try me.

And he shoots her.

But then he then goes over to like kiss her and be like, oh, James, did you really love her after a week?

Yeah, he brushed her hair behind her ear, like looks so longingly at her.

Which grosses me out a little bit because she is dead already.

Don't touch her.

No one dies that quickly from an abnormal shot wound.

You know what I mean?

In the movie, she is dead.

So don't touch her.

And then Judy Ange comes up and is again, she's a bit like mother to Pierce Brosnan.

Always.

She's like, oh.

And he's like, right, let's go to the submarine.

My next love, Christmas is on there.

Yeah.

I'm coming, Christmas.

Won't just be me.

Can I just, very quick segue, which is that it just made me laugh so much that when Pierce Brosnan is in the chair, just to go back to the choking scene, he does the face that he pulls when he's having an anaphylactic shock in Mrs.

Tuff.

The jaw juts out.

And that was exactly what happens on the way, dear.

There's a lot of jaw work.

No, but anything, like all Robert, Robbie Coltrane needed to do really was come in in a dress and it would have been, it would have worked.

He does that like underbiting as well.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

I always like how James always has just a moment to be a big sleaze as well.

There's always time for these.

Once Sophie Marceau mounts him on the chair, she's like any last words kind of monologue.

And he goes, one last screw.

He does, isn't he?

They love the double entendres in the series.

I've actually watched all of it, I've been completely watching it.

I was like, why is he saying one more screw?

So yeah, we're back on the submarine now under water, and this is leading up to the last scene of the movie.

I'm not gonna lie, I slightly checked out of the stage because, obviously, Elektra had died.

Exactly, Elektra's dead, we kind of do not care anymore.

Yeah, this is like Entrapment when they go to Singapore's house.

They've done the lasers, what could they possibly do?

There's gonna be no ass in the air.

It's just such a disappointing death for such an amazing villain.

Yeah, we were talking about this earlier, weren't we, it's so anti-climactic when he just shoots her.

I wish she was under the submarine and got a fever down there, or got the death that Reinhardt had.

Yeah, exactly.

So they turn into this, I get really bad decision making by James and Denise Richards in this because I would like Christmas being a bit of a dumb bitch, just being a bit like a sack of coal, like not moving quick enough.

And submarine, James has this idea that they're going to drive the submarine into the floor of the sea, which full of radioactive material is a great idea.

And him and Reinhardt have the final five sequence of the whole movie, which is them upside down on the side, and they have this long shaft of plutonium.

Which is bright gold, because of course.

And if you deactivate the pressure, it will pressure out the plutonium, who knows?

Yeah, Denise Riches kind of went through how it works, and the science was a bit lost, the translation.

I don't think that means anything.

And so, Reinhardt finally gets killed by getting this plutonium straight, I think it should go straight through him, doesn't it?

The six, baseball bat.

Like a blunt end right to his chest.

And then, in the end, then they end up going out through the torpedo bay and get shot out of the ass of the submarine.

Got those underwater scenes of Denise Richards.

She was just thrashing around.

Or just looking.

She's just looking.

She's like, and the James is like, move.

And she's like, okay, I must move.

It's like, girl, you're a doctor.

Like you are a very intelligent woman.

How are you this slow underwater?

And then that's pretty much like the end of the movie.

Is it though?

Well, no, you hope it is.

You do.

And it then goes to, well, where's James?

We can't find him anywhere.

And my six...

Oh my God, I just remembered.

Have this...

They have tracked him to this random safe house in...

Where is it?

It's in Turkey.

In Istanbul still, I think.

It's in Istanbul still.

And they find this heat map and they're like, oh, Moneypenny then is like, oh, it's getting hotter and hotter.

And they're all like looking at the screen going like, oh, and then they see this heat map and then they see a leg coming out from underneath this other.

Oh, it's just a bit unnecessary.

But anyway, it also reaches temperatures bodies don't actually get aggressively 50 degrees.

They're not okay.

It's really, really red.

It's all the radiation.

Yes.

The plutonium that's in them.

Throwing those rods of plutonium around really did not too good for him.

And I realize he's stuffing a Christmas in Turkey.

Oh my God.

I'm sorry.

I genuinely think you should be very proud of yourself.

That was great.

Thanks guys.

Do you want to say the last iconic line of the movie?

Well, doesn't he say, is there a line about when Christmas comes early?

No, he says, he says, I thought Christmas only comes once a year.

Oh, that was it.

Yeah.

And then fireworks go off in the background.

And I will say, I knew it was coming and it's so awful and I still cackled.

Oh yeah.

Aggressively, on my own, I scared the cat.

I mean, it is so shameless.

We were like, we can't watch this.

But did she, did she, did she come?

She didn't look like a girl.

She's too hot.

She's getting smothered by James Jetsky.

I do think, though, because one of the things about this particular Bond film of the 90s is it did have strong women in it.

So Sophie Marceau was fab.

I feel like she walked so that Ava Green could run.

A hundred percent.

I'm just throwing that out there, is it?

Yeah, she was more than just the Bond girl for him to sleep with.

She had something about her.

And I liked the sad boy terrorist energy of Renard.

I'm not gonna lie.

Carlisle was weirdly hot in it.

It's so boring when they're just these like two-dimensional villains where just, I'm just a bad person or I'm just greedy about money.

It's like so much more interesting when there's something about them.

And I think that happened more and more, like the more modern Bond got.

And I think it's happened also a lot more with Craig's Bond.

But I think this is like a very excellent example.

Yes, the emotional intelligence of Renard, I think, who was just in love.

The terrorist for love, yeah.

We don't condone it.

So our next segment of the show will be discussing our bi-panic energies of the week.

So if you've been listening before, there are basically moments or things or people or whatever that gave us a reason to look again at ourselves in the moment.

So who wants to go first, Grace?

Yeah, I'll go.

My bi-panic energy of the week is a near miss bi-panic.

It is a tease bi-panic, which is that Denzel Washington apparently recorded a gay kiss for Gladiator 2 and it has been cut from the final film.

It's 2024.

Why?

I mean, I would pay to see Denzel Washington kiss another man.

I can imagine that somehow it's strong yet gentle.

I think my brain would short circuit in the summer.

I just want to see the build up.

I want to see the longing looks.

Yeah.

Who was he kissing?

I wonder.

I have no idea.

If it's Pedro Pascal, I will lose my mind.

A chicken.

I don't think there would have been Ridley Scott, to be fair.

Yeah.

I hope not.

I feel like Ridley Scott wouldn't have filmed otherwise.

Studio probably gets final cut.

Stupid studio.

Who was he kissing?

I have no idea.

Was it Paul?

Was it Pedro?

Who was it?

There are so many to choose from in that film.

But yeah, apparently, I mean, that's my Bi-Panic energy of the week.

Just knowing that Denzel's lips have crossed in others.

And he already looks so hot in that film.

Yeah.

Well, he is dressed as a gladiator, complete with like earring.

He just looks so hot.

He's a hot man.

Yeah.

I just bet not romanticize the Roman era too much, because I would have just been dead immediately.

So yeah, that's my BPA of the week.

Who wants to go next?

Oh, I'll go.

So my Bi-Panic energy of the week is the just longing and enjoyment I got from recently being in New York.

And I found a little spot, which was obviously heavily populated.

But it was just where everyone went to run shirtless.

And I was just there having a casual afternoon stroll down the Hudson.

And everyone was running shirtless.

I was losing my mind.

Including the girls?

Well, they were not wearing very much, but they were.

It was a sight for the eyes.

And there's every now and again, you find a little park.

People are just either sunbathing or they're just walking their adorable miniature dogs, or they're just running with their bodies out.

And it was just the little lech in me was going, I found the right place.

Their bodies are full.

Not the most profound, but...

Do not, but they don't always have to be.

No, but people are hot and especially in New York.

I was just going to say that this wouldn't be the same experience if you encountered all of these people over here.

No, the ratio of hot people to absolute gremlins was really in my favor when I was in New York.

I think I have two Bi-Panic Energies of the Week nearly.

I have one and then I'm going to say the other one, which came over me, Harry, while you were talking there.

I love your jumper.

Oh, thank you very much.

I think you also have this jumper.

I really admire it.

I gave myself BP.

I've given myself through Harry's jumper.

I like to make an effort for the record.

I love it.

It just looks so soft.

It's a Navy Lacoste wool jumper.

Oh, wow.

That's gorgeous.

My original Bi-Panic this week is, I was so cold.

Grace and I were on holidays last week and got a bit of winter sun.

Went to Fort Ventura in the Canary Islands.

It was fab.

Everyone was just so inclusive.

I think a lot of people were gay.

There was a lot of gay guys, gay girls.

There was a lot of families, a lot of PDA.

There was a lot of PDA.

There was like this precious gay guy couple in the pool having photoshoots as the guys work it was fab.

And it was just every type of person you could think of was there.

And then they had big massive like pride flags and everything out on the beach.

And yeah, I just loved it.

It was fab.

Oh, impromptu parade.

Love that.

Literally.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, this is great.

So My Bi-Panic was happening every single day last week.

Loved it.

Go to Fuerteventura, which I can never say correctly.

Fuerteventura.

Fuerteventura.

Well, our air hostess could not say it either.

Everybody's got a millennium, you know.

So yeah, if you're gay or bi or questioning, or just want a nice holiday in the sun, go to Fuerteventura.

Oh, how lovely.

Yeah, I am not getting sponsored yet.

But do we.

We are willing.

VA.

Holidays.

Highly recommend.

Do you share this thing?

My BP of the week is that obviously we are now really revving up for awards season.

So all the girls are working real hard.

And this also includes one of the things that was my favorite thing when I was a teenager, which is when Vanity Fair do their massive spread, like photograph of all the actors.

Oh, it just goes on and on.

I know.

I love it so much.

And that's been going on right now.

They've just published and two of the people on there, who have also been featured together in a video, are Dev Patel and Nicole Kidman.

And then there has a little video of the two of them interviewing each other and they talk about the craft.

And honestly, they've starred together in Lion, but they are both, I mean, Dev Patel to me, like anyway, but the two of them are so charming and so hot in that video.

I was like, I want to be the filling in that sandwich.

So bad.

It's so incredible.

In that mother and adopted son sandwich.

Do you know what?

No judgment.

Like this goes beyond familial ties.

So yeah, that one, that was really giving me BP this week.

It's a handsome interaction between the two of them.

And just the lulls of her talking about her clapping.

We're all doing the clapping.

I thought you were going to go down the Jonathan, Bailey and Josh O'Connor.

Josh O'Connor.

That was gorgeous.

Their little interaction as well.

Hot.

Hot.

Really the Vanity Fair spread is what's giving us BP.

And on to this week's Wild Carrot, we have Grace doing Uncle Buck.

You get just as surprised as I do.

She's doing the Nicole Kidman clap.

As Uncle Buck deserves.

So Uncle Buck is a 1980 night's Charlotte.

Stop.

I haven't even begun.

Just forgot this was a half Christmas episode as well.

Half Christmas episode?

Yeah.

Well, this is basically we've had Christmas Jones and we're leading into our Christmas episodes, which will be the next episode of The Bi-Panic Room.

And for me, growing up, Uncle Buck, the 1989 masterpiece, I counted it as a Christmas film, but only as an adult did I realize it set at Thanksgiving.

Time-wise, that still works out.

Time-wise, it still works out.

Snow on the ground.

And the film inspired, if Uncle Buck didn't exist, Home Alone would never have happened.

It is, there is a scene in Uncle Buck, this isn't going down my Bi-Panic reasoning, but I'm just pointing this out just for the, just to give you the impression of how important Uncle Buck is.

There's a scene in Uncle Buck where Macaulay Culkin is home alone and Uncle Buck's girlfriend is coming over and she knocks up on the door and he opens up the letterbox and he sees her first, but the second thing he sees is a group of men, like in his imagination, he sees burglars.

And it's that one scene that inspired Home Alone.

You're all looking at me blankly.

Okay, so why Uncle Buck is for gay people?

I think you told me this, unlike literally, we were watching five times.

I thought you told me this on our first date.

I think it could have been like the third date, I think.

Yeah, when we watched it.

Anyway, Uncle Buck stars the iconic, bi-conic, if you will, John Candy, Canadian hero, Harry, don't give me that look, cuddly, Robbie Coltrane, Charlotte, help me out here.

Beautiful man, beautiful, inside and out, John Candy.

And he is like this uncle who is like not really involved in the family, like he doesn't even know how old the children are.

And his brother and his entire family have moved to Chicago very recently and they have a death in the family.

So he is called upon because he's the only local person they know to look after the kids.

The kids being Macaulay Culkin, Gabby Hoffman.

No, it's not Gabby Hoffman.

It is Gabby Hoffman.

The most adorable little girl.

She is so cute.

That's not The Bi-Panic either.

Macaulay Culkin, Gabby Hoffman and the elder, grungy, rebellious teen daughter, right?

So he has to come in like after them all.

And the film is like really the film is about the relationship, the familial relationship between Uncle Buck and Tia, the eldest child, not a romantic relationship.

Tessa, don't look at me like that.

Is this The Bi-Panic moment?

No, but she is.

I'm sorry.

Like as a child growing up, like watching that film, I fucking like she was a gay panic awakening for me.

The grungy like rebellious daughter.

And it's that like the them butting heads throughout the film, where he's kind of like coming in his way and she's like not taking anything.

Oh, stop it, Tessa.

I actually agree with you.

Yep.

Thank you.

So it's in.

I'm glad you all agree.

I will take no further questions.

Join us on our next episode.

Anyway, so Uncle Buck is such a lovely, gentle, essentially a Christmas film.

If you have never seen it, go and watch it because John Candy is just perfect.

It is a Hughes film.

So it's got all of the kind of same jokes and family, lovely, warm feeling of all of his films.

And I thoroughly encourage you to go and watch it.

It's got great music.

It's got, do you know what though?

There's a, so throughout the film, Tia is in this relationship with this guy called Bug, named after Christmas Jones.

I don't know.

And he's like this CD classic, CD guy, like boyfriend who's pressuring her into sex.

There is a scene that I still think I would watch now as an adult and blush when I'm watching it.

Go on.

Did you watch it, Harry?

I did watch it.

We watched it.

Harry and I watched it together.

We watched it together.

Okay, then you guys will know.

We take our homework seriously.

So you know when they're at the party and she goes to the party and then you think it's Tia in the bed with Bug.

And he's sliding his leg.

That scene is going on a little bit long and it's a little bit like hot and heavy.

It's a little bit rapey because she keeps saying I don't want to do this.

It's definitely a bit rapey.

And I remember as a child thinking like, oh my god, I'm watching porn.

You see a lot of upper thigh.

It was like, what am I watching?

I don't think I should be watching this.

Like this film has gone from like you to like an R rated.

A heavy R.

Anyway, Bug is kind of giving Tate Donovan vibes in the film.

He's annoying as fuck and he gets hit with a golf ball and it's great.

But there's something about I think the male side doesn't necessarily come from Bug.

It comes from John Candy because he's giving big protective daddy vibes and we're there for it.

I agree with Grace.

Oh, okay.

Two more to go, guys.

Well, no, I think when we were in Toronto and we went to Second City and there was a whole history around John Candy and I think there's something about him that it's almost obviously so sad that he's now died but he just seemed like such a nice man and I think it really translates in his movies and he's actually such a kind of humble guy and I think that movie Uncle Buck actually really encapsulated him as a person almost.

I think you understand why like Janice wants to marry him and the frost lady.

Right, finally, we bring up.

Why she wants to mount him.

Played bizarrely by Laurie Metcalfe.

Wait, is that who it is?

Who is backing Laurie Metcalfe?

Yes, it is.

Yes, it is.

We watched it and I was like, she looks like Laurie Metcalfe and I looked it up.

Oh my God, it is.

Who makes acting choices in this film.

That did make me think, is she trying to like, is she meant to be on, genuinely like on the spectrum?

Like what is going on in that performance?

And it just goes away, never reappears, we have no idea what happened to her.

Strangest character arc for any.

So good.

But yeah, I think John Candy is a vibe.

And I mean, I was going after Mrs.

Day of Fire, so don't ask me.

I mean, that had Pierce Brosnan in it.

I did, but I think it was just, yeah.

Yeah, I think it's the weird protective daddy vibes is kind of pushing through a bit.

Can I, I'm going to counter that by saying he, I, at some point we were like, is this kind of a horror movie?

Actually, it should have been sold as a thriller.

The way he assaults Bug, you could kill someone.

Like, it's, it goes so dark.

And also I, maybe this is just triggering, but he has been messing Shanice around for eight years.

He can't even get a goddamn job.

He can't commit to marrying her or having children with her.

He is a waste of space.

She's been working hard in the car shop for so long.

She's not asking for that much after eight years together.

Yeah, we were mad watching it, mad.

This is the character arc though.

He becomes all of those things by the end of the film.

But what's the long term plan here?

He's going to go work at the tire shop with Shanice.

Oh, I felt for the girl.

Renard was a terrorist, guys.

Yeah, but he loved her.

He just needs a woman to fix up.

John stands up for the rights of children and their creative minds.

By physically assaulting other children.

Bug is a punk.

He abducted Bug in the back of his car.

And that man will never attack a woman again.

He won't.

I will start to say when we started watching it, we went in with hope.

We wanted to.

Genuine intrigue, because I had never seen this film before.

So I was like very curious about it.

And strong start.

I think the dad's glasses.

Yeah.

Handsome dad who...

But again, questionable parenting.

Why did both parents have to go to Indianapolis?

The mom would have been fine.

She would have been fine.

Because Uncle Buck would never have...

Like, Harry, this is film 101.

I know they wouldn't have had these query, wholesome interactions with his niblings.

But yeah, dad's glasses anyway.

Lovely.

Tia's bad girl energy started off strong, became quite irritating.

She is such an deeply unpleasant human being.

There wasn't like...

She wasn't being nice or funny about it.

And the way she says everything is like a half-speared.

Do you want to be here?

You can go somewhere else.

But by the end...

By the end, she becomes a serial killer.

An accessory to it.

She and Uncle Buck teething up.

We were looking at the bit where Uncle Buck and Tia were looking at each other and going, yeah, let's do it.

Let's fuck him up.

They think they are going to be career criminals.

I'm also here for it.

Yeah.

I mean, that would be a nice...

Now, that is a movie that could give me BPE.

Uncle Buck too.

Uncle, fuck you up.

Oh no.

Grace.

Cut this.

So after The Glasses, I got a bit lost searching for more evidence of BPE.

I really wanted Buck to be quite hot.

Like, his styling was quite good at one bit.

Yeah.

He turned a bit rapey.

Then he got a bit rapey.

And then the dad came back.

But then all the camera angles were like so dead on for like the mom and daughter interactions.

It was really weird.

Yeah.

Don't know.

I went in with an open mind and an open heart, but all I got was glasses.

I can, I think I can understand why Tia for a young you would have definitely been part of.

Absolutely.

Of The Gay Awakening.

Yeah.

That hint of rebellion.

Thanks guys.

I mean, shall we, shall we do a vote?

I think we need to do a vote.

Just put me out of my misery now.

Yeah, Nabra.

Like, no, I, I, I think Tia, I get, the dad's glasses have been mentioned maybe once or twice.

But no, I just feel like that's, I'm, I can understand that John Candy was a brilliant performer and he gives a wonderful performance in this film, but I draw the line.

It's a note from me.

Okay.

So another bit of energy I got was from the breakfast that he made.

Fantastic looking pancakes.

I mean, if someone's making me pancakes in the breakfast, I'm going to treat them well as a reward.

John Candy's lucky.

And again, the glasses.

But if it did go down that thriller route, I think could have been sold a bit more, but they tried to sell their interaction of potentially murdering the boyfriend as sweet and wholesome.

And I don't know, I don't know if me and my nieces are going to go down that route together.

We're totally keen, me and my nieces.

And just the anger I felt for Portia Nise, bless her.

And actually, Laurie Metcalfe was hilarious, but again, query safeguarding.

Should she be in a house all alone, making these decisions?

So John Candy, credit where it's due.

What a guy.

And the kids were really cute.

But I was really clutching at straws, trying to get Bi-Panic energy out of Uncle Buck.

So I'm sorry, Grace.

That's OK, Tessa, you can make it a clean sweep.

I'm going to say yes.

You can't do that because it's safe.

Because it gave you Bi-P going up.

It was one of your favourite movies of all time.

It still is.

As you've told me several times since we've...

Yeah, we watch it every year, every Christmas.

Uncle Buck is an awesome great film.

We were going to watch it in Fort Ventura, but we couldn't because it was too hot.

Yeah, it wouldn't have worked.

No, I think TF vibe, a bit of danger, trying to kill Bug, you know, on board.

John Candy, I think, again, similar to almost Mrs.

Doubtfire's arc.

It's just that whole protectiveness and just, yeah, I think he gives a fantastic performance.

And it's a yes from me, but does it sound guys with G-Row demolition, man, in over Uncle Buck, do you think?

Yeah.

Uh, yeah.

Okay, it's a yes from me.

Okay, so what does that mean, then?

It means that Uncle Buck has, sadly, but not, you know, surprisingly, not made it into The Bi-Panic Room.

I will say this was a last minute sub for our original wild card, which will be coming next year at some point.

But I will say for anyone who, you will probably get gay panic from Tia, but for anyone who, regardless of it being a bi-panic film, this is a lovely, wholesome film to watch around Christmas slash Thanksgiving time.

If you feel like you need a bit of comfort, if you feel like you need a bit of home alone, you need comfort from Uncle Buck.

It's like an earlier Home Alone.

Yeah, same writer, much of the same cast, set in Chicago in a big house.

The Chicago Energy, sorry, is a big thing for me.

Yeah, real estate.

Oh, yeah, the house was found.

The house gave me baby poop.

Yeah, I mean, this film was out before I was born, but so it was one I watched very, very early on, and it's stuck with me forever.

I do love that you watch it every year with your family.

That is very precious.

Oh no, they're not invited, it's just me.

I do love that you exclude your family from this wholesome family movie.

Anyway, so I encourage you to watch it, but I'm not unsurprised that it hasn't made it into The Bi-Panic Room.

I mean, if the shoe was on the other foot, I don't know if I'd vote it in myself, but I give it a good try.

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[Outro music]

[Sting]