#7 - Jurassic Park (1993)

Dinosaur eats man. Woman inherits the earth. And everything about this movie makes you bi.

This week: Steven Spielberg’s 1993 classic, Jurassic Park, which, to half the gang, is a movie about a rich old man going to extraordinary lengths to stop his grandchildren from inheriting his fortune.

Time to take off your sunglasses (a la Laura Dern), tighten your Sam Neil neckerchiefs and get ready for an adventure of a lifetime.

Also: Jeff Goldblum’s hand acting, bi cigarettes, and Grace reciting the entirety of the IMDB trivia.

This episode's bi-panic energy (BPEs) range from the Swiftian (Taylor, that is, obviously) romance of pole vaulting to the epitome of lesbianism: synced periods.

Tessa lives up to her name of the bi with the wildest of wild card pitches, as she makes a case for her childhood comfort film. Who knows, maybe it’ll succeed. After all, life finds a way.

Listen to full episode :

Episode Transcript

[Please note that transcripts are automatically generated so may not be 100% accurate]

Welcome to The Bi-Panic Room, a bi-monthly podcast exploring the films and television series that trigger bisexual panic, aka Bi-Panic.

What is film?

What is cinema?

What is art?

Who decides?

We all like to consider ourselves cultural connoisseurs with our guilty pleasures and our more pretentious picks.

But there are some motion pictures that transcend that conversation, are just complete masterpiece from start to finish.

And if we're very, very lucky, they also come with a massive pile of steaming bi-panic energy.

And in this case, it does.

Welcome.

Hello.

Hi.

With an I.

Today, we'll be discussing Jurassic Park, after which we'll each share our BPE of the week.

And then Tessa will bring it home with her wild card pitch.

Now, I feel like it almost feels unnecessary to include a log line for Jurassic Park, but just in case there are some Philistines among you.

It's a 1993 Steven Spielberg directed film about an industrialist who invites experts to visit his theme park of cloned dinosaurs.

And after a power failure, the creatures run loose, putting everyone's lives, including his grandchildren's at risk.

I know those kids.

Thanks.

Disagree.

We'll get to it, I think.

Also, incidentally, I think it's worth pointing out.

It's obviously an adaptation of the Michael Crichton novel, but the adaptation was written by David Kemp, who is also the writer of Panic Room.

We know the man quite a bit.

I caught full circle moments in the podcast.

Made us gay.

And he did indeed.

And it was a man who did it.

Oh no.

Like a very straight man who did it.

Well, they'll put you off, won't they?

But like a film that stars a smorgasbord of sexual awakenings, I think it's fair to say.

A curmudgeonly Sam Neil, a self-identing feminist, Laura Dern, who 26 in the movie.

We'll talk about that.

A leather clad, Jeff Goldblum, and BD Wong in a white coat.

I mean, obviously.

Special shout out there.

Exactly, MVP.

And it has one of the most iconic scores of all time by John Williams, Never Fails to Give You Goosebumps.

And also animatronics that quite frankly, look better now than the CGI we've seen in the 2020s.

I was thinking that throughout the film.

Incredible.

Am I going to open the episode by trying to sing?

Have you ever seen that episode of Hacks, where Deborah's daughter is playing the piano and she's doing a recital for a load of people in the room and she's playing the Jurassic?

She's like 30-something.

And she's playing the Jurassic Park theme and it's so good.

I think everyone knows our theme.

That's what we should play.

I can see why one of the opening scenes has a quote, which I will scream for you now.

Now that I know about the panic room mention.

Here we go.

I know what it's going to be.

Give her the shot!

Recycling material.

So you need to shoot some woman.

It is a female dinosaur.

This is Kristen Stewart.

I was going to say Kristen Wiig for some reason.

This is the Kristen Stewart of the dinosaur world.

The raptor.

She's the raptor.

Yeah, that's very true.

Poor gal.

Also, I think staying kind of on scene with what we've always been talking about, we open with some bi-conic credits.

You know, the font is so emblematic and recognizable.

Quite jazzy.

Again, we're still in that 90s font era.

Lovely color gradient.

Yeah, got to have a custom font.

Exactly.

It's incredible.

But we obviously open with this very dramatic nighttime scene where employees of the park are trying to control an animal that we can't quite see it, but we obviously later find out it's a raptor and it ends in disaster and to death and the biconic line, shooter.

We already get this insight into the fact that this basically dinosaur zoo has serious issues.

Dinosaur zoo.

Thank you.

That's quite sinister.

I couldn't sit on that for long.

So yeah, so the investors are sort of spooked by the fatality and in order to make sure that they don't pull all of their money, the owner of the park played by Attenborough recruits renowned and super sexy paleontologist and paleobotanist to side with him.

Dr.

Ross Geller, Laura Dern, you know, who's making denim on denim look like a good choice.

And Sam Neil, who opens with traumatizing a child with a story about how a raptor would have eviscerated and eaten him alive.

And I think it gives us a really good look into what kind of people we're dealing with.

Premonition for what's going to maybe happen.

And it really sparks the conversation with Laura Dern because she is so broody throughout the entire movie.

She wants babies left and right.

And she's like, oh no, not after that horrible let down.

Girl, you probably finished your PhD literally two seconds ago.

How about you dedicate yourself to your craft for the next 10 years before you even start thinking about this?

Take a holiday.

And we know she's a pro because on that incredibly pixelated screen, she's going, as you can see, the posterior neck ligaments, there is nothing.

You can barely see bones.

It's clearly still there.

It's a line.

You can barely see the bones.

It's giving a bit of Ross Gellar look, friends.

Well, paleontology.

I do appreciate the fact that he was really into dinosaurs.

I mean, fun fact, guys, according to IMDB trivia.

Oh, here she goes.

There was a massive decline after the space age in interest in dinosaurs.

And after this film, there was something like 50% increase or 50 times the number of people interested in paleontology.

And as a result, no, I know what the 50 was.

As a result of this film, loads of people became interested in paleontology again, and they started discovering species of dinosaur at the rate of 50 per year, almost one a week.

So thank you very much.

The power of cinema.

Thanks, Laura Dern.

Educating our future.

Doing a lot for natural history.

There we go.

Well, how can we look at the future if we never look back at our history?

Exactly.

How do we learn?

How do we grow?

If we look at our paleobotany.

We can discover our future, which might be touched on later.

So while this is happening at the park, we also meet a very opportunistic park employee, Nedry, also iconic in his own right, I think.

He's in charge of all the IT security system of the park, and he's really just out to make as much money as he can.

So he's made a deal with a rival company who want him to smuggle out viable embryos for a lot of money.

So that's happening on the side.

Meanwhile, Laura Dern and Sam Neil are flown to the island where they're joined by an annoying lawyer.

And I'll be honest, I didn't even bother writing down his name.

He doesn't deserve a name.

Exactly.

And Jeff Goldblum.

There we go.

In his, in all his leatherclad glory, who is a chaotician, as he calls himself.

And then after they arrive, they're put into jeeps and they drive across the island and come to a hole in like gorgeous landscape for possibly the most iconic scene in history.

Which in reality, I think they filmed everyone reacting to an X on a stick.

Which acting.

And everyone deserves an Oscar because their performances of looking at the stick is so incredible.

When, when Sam Neil turns Laura Dern's head.

There's something so sexual about that.

Why is it sexy?

And the way she removes the glasses.

I used to, I used to practice that as a child.

One of the Jodie Foster thing got to you.

And also the sunglasses are fucking insanely cool.

They're timeless.

But his hand acts like a bit of one of those head massager orgasmatron things.

Her hair is slightly ruffled.

She looks like a shark.

Well, she's clutching an extinct leaf.

So she's already like gushing with excitement of paleobotany and then turns her head, stands up so dramatically slowly, mouth agape, staring at this gorgeous brontosaur.

Exactly, because this is, they see a live dinosaur for the very first time as Attenborough says, welcome to Jurassic Park.

And the Williams score like swells and hits the climax and basically says, who I?

And she shouts and tears every time.

I think it is truly one of the most incredible scenes of all time.

It really gets you in the chest.

Also, like the jeep is peak lesbian.

Peak lesbian.

Oh, so I really want one too.

The pair of them in that, they're ready to, you know, adopt a cow.

And it's just a, but it's a catasaurus.

I don't know where I was going with that.

But his neckerchief.

The neckerchief.

I'm sorry, I'm juggling the gun here with the neckerchief.

The boots, the khaki shorts, the denim, like the hat.

They're giving the LA lesbian vibe.

Something just so hot about standing up in a jeep.

It's so rebellious.

Standing up in the jeep in the passenger seat.

Not knees deep.

The opposite actually.

Right, and so obviously everyone's so incredibly overwhelmed with the fact that this was possible.

And both they and we kind of learn a bit of the background of the science, which basically means taking blood from mosquitoes encased in amber and using that DNA combined with frog DNA to clone dinosaurs.

And I know that this isn't actually science that checks out, but it sounds so believable.

Oh, I am enraptured.

Yeah, but also, again, according to IMDB trivia guys, David Attenborough, brother of Dickie Attenborough, who plays the park owner in this, whose name I've forgotten, actually has a whole collection of species encased in amber.

And they do a whole episode in the 1980s on the possibilities of following Jurassic Park.

They did a whole episode on that, looking in trying to make it a true story.

Looking into whether it can actually be done.

We'll get on it, guys.

Do we want to bring back dinosaurs, though?

I mean, evidence suggests from this film, yes.

I mean, whatever it takes to wipe out humanity at this stage.

Exactly.

It depends on what our end goal is.

It's the big thing.

But to kill that man in the toilet, yes.

Yeah.

So as they learn more about the park and we do, you know, they become more aware of the fact that they also have dangerous dinosaurs at the park.

And the whole thing turns into more of an ethical dilemma.

Is this playing god?

And so even, you know, our paleontologists and paleobotanists are almost stuck between being like itty children and being scientists, especially once they discover that they're breeding raptors.

And this is where we meet Muldoon, the khaki-wearing head of security, who clearly thinks that all dinosaurs should be shot and are the devil.

And yet he still hangs around to do his job.

And they watch the very violent death of a cow.

That was really brutal.

That almost turned me vegetarian.

And then I had a burger.

What's the matter, kid?

Never had lamb chops before?

So the tour starts, which means everyone gets into the cars, except for Attenborough, who stays behind.

And they're joined by Attenborough's two grandchildren, Tim and Lex.

And I'm sorry, I know, especially I think there's a real narrative of Lex being like super annoying.

I actually think it's completely wrong.

And I also think she's so fucking gay.

And like her tank top, she's got the hat.

She's a vegetarian hacker.

I'm sorry.

You have to be a hacker then, yeah.

I just gave in, gave in.

She does look like a little version of Laura Dern as well.

Like she wants to be her.

Yes.

I think though, she was just so irritating.

And so was the boy, I've got his name ready.

They are children, Tim.

Yeah, but all the screaming is like, go to bed.

Charlotte, equality here, children can be annoying as fuck as well as adults.

Yes.

Thanks.

It does really turn you off with 2.4 in your family.

Oh, you'd escape that park so much quicker if you don't have the burden of children.

I'm trying to wonder if Richard Attenborough, this is just a massive ploy to get rid of his grandchildren.

He was like, I'm going to stay behind.

You guys take the kids.

Go on, get in there.

The amount of effort and money that went into getting rid of his grandchildren this way seems a bit over the top.

He really wanted to avoid prison.

Apparently so.

Plenty of dinosaurs to have them eaten.

Yeah, he's trimming that will right back.

So the tour starts, and Goldblum is brazenly making it his interest to hit on Laura Dern.

By the way, did you know, I did not know this, IMDB.

So he and Laura Dern and Goldblum started a relationship after they met on this set, and they were engaged two years.

I know, I was never aware of this.

I mean, it makes complete sense.

I mean, that is so hard.

Because he does his superb hand acting, which I know I've brought up before, and he explains chaos theory with a drop of water on the back of her hand, and there's like caressing, and there's even a gentle bit of hair pulling going on, and it is the most incredible kind of seduction.

I feel like waterfalls are going.

So sensual.

They completely did the trick.

The way he maintains eye contact with her throughout that, I was just like clutching my pearls.

Honestly.

I mean, can you imagine, I mean, the bi-energy between that couple, those two years were probably something that the world will, we didn't know about it.

No, I bet it was a wild ride.

Yeah, like Jurassic Park.

Literally.

So they're in the middle of this tour, and then all of a sudden everyone starts getting out of the car.

And they, I think this is quite one of the most moving scenes of the film, and they find a sick Triceratops and its huge pile of shit, which Dern goes rummaging through, the signs of poison.

And Sam Neil like lies down on the dinosaur's stomach, and it just like inflates and deflates when she breathes, and Dern cries because it's so moving.

And it's just such a beautiful scene.

It is lovely.

And how she instantly makes it all about paleobotany, I really admire.

She's being poisoned.

Is that, what is it?

Purple Indian Vine.

This is my domain.

Move out of the way.

So after the entire movie, it's not just Tessa who hates the children.

It's also Sam Neil.

And it makes that like very clear.

But also Harry and Grace.

Agreed.

I'm there.

Yeah.

But at this point, I think this is kind of when, when we start to see that the children at least like idolize him or look up to him.

And obviously throughout the whole movie, he becomes their protector and everything.

But it's really interesting because this is already when you start, there's like a really long shot holding on Lex as she watches Sam Neil interact with the dinosaur.

And you can tell that this is when she starts getting a crush on him.

And it just, that's where it starts happening.

And I was just to think, looking at that, thinking like, oh man, she's gonna be chasing that emotionally unavailable older man for the rest of her life.

Daddy issues.

This is her bi-panic moment.

Yes it is.

She's dealing firsthand with Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Sam Neil.

I bet she has totally started for life.

She will net nothing, will ever live up to that, no.

What sexual awakening?

I can't recreate it.

No, it's very true.

So while they're there with the dinosaurs, a tropical storm is moving in on the island.

So everyone except for Dern gets back in the cars.

And meanwhile, Nedry, who we met earlier, who's the IT guy, is also starting to instigate his plan.

And he shuts down parts of the park and able to steal the embryos and detect it, which includes shutting down all the electric doors and the electric fences.

It's very clever.

But also like a single point of failure.

Do you know what I mean?

The whole park security system, they clearly weren't paying him the big bucks.

It hangs on one balance.

Exactly.

But this is also where we meet Samuel L.

Jackson.

And we talked about, you know, smoking being bisexual.

Smoke talking, the way he does, and that is bisexual.

The hands-free approach is fantastic.

And his enunciation is still on point.

I mean, I know I was one or two when this film came out, but I would have picked up a cigarette then.

The smoking baby.

First day of school.

That's how you look for 40 a day.

Smoking is bad and it kills you.

This is true kids.

We go to cars, but we still get in them.

We do.

Were you about to deny getting in a car?

Sorry.

So, they kind of abort the tour because everything's kind of going wrong.

The weather's moving in and obviously half of the security system is shut down.

But when it shuts down, the cars who are electric also shut down and they do so outside the T-Rex enclosure.

Now the fences aren't electrified anymore.

It's dark outside.

And Nedry, who has now secured the embryos in his iconic hand of shaving cream, meanwhile tries to make it to the harbor to get the last boat off the island.

But instead he crashes.

And in his case, we kind of almost had it earlier, Karma is not a cat purring in his lap.

Instead, it's a venomous nightmare of a dinosaur who violently spits in his face and then kills him.

It's awful.

I think I actually had nightmares about that scene growing up.

Yes, as you should.

The here's Johnny moment of these frills appearing in his car.

And how like the noise that makes ramps up the second those Jacobean Ruff comes out.

You're like, oh, Karma is terrifying.

But that again just shows the animatronics just being so much more powerful than a CGI effect.

And I think that's the thing is like, it's really that attention to detail that I think really makes the film so timeless.

And another similar thing is, because then we go back to the T-Rex enclosure in the cars, and they're just hanging out in the cars.

And then they see the water glass shaking with every step that the T-Rex walks closer.

And what's also so great about that, this is my favorite piece of trivia.

Damn it, is this earth, wind and fire?

They couldn't make it work.

What, make the ripples?

Exactly, they couldn't figure out how to make it look good and real.

And then the sound guy back home put a glass of water down on his guitar while he was playing, and he saw that that really created those gray ripples.

So underneath the car, they installed...

They had like cables to a bass guitar underneath the garage.

Exactly, and they just strummed it.

And that's what creates that incredible ripple effect.

Direct from a guitar.

And it was Steven Spielberg's idea, because it was something to do with a mirror.

He was listening to Earth, Wind and Fire in his car, and it was making some ripples of the water on his windscreen mirror.

No, his wing mirror.

And that's what gave him the idea.

And it ended up being music that they used to recreate it in the end.

What?

Very impressive.

The man is genius.

I bet they were trying all sorts of things, like just dropping heavy objects near water, just really hoping for some ripples to appear.

Especially if you really care about the details, it probably takes you ages to figure out the best way to do it.

But this means that we have an impending problem, which in this case is the T-Rex, which realizes that the fence is no longer electrified.

It breaks out and attacks.

The lawyer gets eaten on the toilet for maximum humiliation.

Goldblum is injured and presumed dead, and Sam Neil saves the children and they flee, to try and escape the T-Rex.

I mean, I feel like we cannot possibly discuss this scene without the fact that Jeff Goldblum jumps out of the car in the rain, takes the flare off Sam Neil.

No, no, he has his own flare.

Oh, he has his own flare.

Well, he has his own flare, and he guides the Tyrannosaurus, like a plane coming into land.

Away from the kids.

Away from the kids, you're the kids.

There's nothing more like Bi-Panic than that scene where he's like, fuck these kids, they're so annoying, but I'm just going to get away from them and I will take the T-Rex with them.

I really don't enjoy this anti-child narrative that we're establishing, because Goldblum himself says, like, he loves kids, and so he is actually trying to save them.

Wow.

Charlotte, that's up for debate.

Can we also just, I feel like I'm going to interject, the weather, it's lashing rain, so everyone is wet.

A wet Jeff Goldblum.

Jeff Goldblum is a wet everybody.

I think the rain is just unbuttoning his shirt with each step that he takes.

It's probably rippled into him.

I never thought he was that attractive until I rewatched it.

And it's at that point that nature saves Jeff Goldblum because they're like, oh, we cannot, even the T-Rex is like, I cannot possibly eat this man.

So I'll have the toilet man instead.

Yeah, give me another lawyer.

And I appreciate your point, Charlotte.

He does save the children, which again, makes him a soft, you know, leader of a man.

He's got it all.

Unfortunately, Laura Dern isn't there to see it.

No, because she and Muldoon are in another place in the park and they go out to try and find the kids and Sam Neil.

And while Sam Jackson tries to get the whole park system back online, smoking and talking like a true champion, obviously.

And Dern and Muldoon get outside the T-Rex enclosure and they find and retrieve the injured Jeff Goldblum.

Who makes a miraculous recovery from being bitten in the leg?

Well, I think the thing is that we never quite figure out how he got his leg injured.

And Laura Dern does say he managed to put a tourniquet on it.

So, yeah.

Is he injured when he's in the van?

The caravan.

The van.

What van?

The van.

Yeah, what van?

Wait, is this, is that the second film?

Julianne Mould's in the second film, isn't she?

Yes.

Ignore me.

There's no van.

Ignore me.

I wasn't watching a recap earlier on and it obviously included some scenes from Jurassic Park.

And then Chris Pratt came along.

I completely forgot that Julianne Mould was in this and apparently she's not.

Vince Vaughan.

We had a whole thing about Vince Vaughan being really hot.

That's not in this film.

I mean, I can't wait for you to have that as your wild card pick then.

Jurassic Park 2?

Well, I mean, did we all watch it?

Did we watch it together?

I obviously forgot because that was clearly Jurassic Park 2 and I was like, I completely forgot the scene from Jurassic Park 1.

As one is.

So they retrieve Goldblum and make it back to the compound and Laura Dern and Attenborough eat some melted ice cream, which always looked so fucking delicious to me as a child.

She just eats it out of a bucket and it looks so delicious.

Just want to add how she sits on this chair.

She, for some reason, just does a full piked position, strokes the linen tablecloth and then mounts the chair.

Oh my god, you're so right.

It just really adds the poetry of them.

And it's so weird because I think she seems really tall and has really long limbs and I think often that equates to a certain amount of awkwardness in how you move, but she is like so controlled.

Gorgeous movement.

It was just poetry, just watching her sit down.

I tried to do it when I was at my dining table yesterday.

Did you end up with a bad back?

I did, yeah.

Tipped my chair over, scared the cat.

So they sit there, eat ice cream and debate the ethics of Jurassic Park and how that amount of power can't be controlled, which is confirmed in the next scene when Sam Neil and the kids discover empty dinosaur eggs out in the park, even though all dinosaurs on the island are genetically engineered to be female.

But like Goldblum said, life finds a way.

Oh, so deep.

Such a great sentence.

Trivia tells us that's his favourite line from the film, as it should be.

Now, going back to Sam Jackson, during the reboot of The Computer System.

Oh, I just love the nostalgia of that scene as well, when the computer is just like just clicking like a very 90s computer.

You can really hack into the keyboards and it was what a different time.

Especially if you're like a 12-year-old girl who's apparently a vegan hacker.

Exactly.

She's ready.

Yeah.

It's like ASMR for her.

We'll get to that one.

There's only one or two systems to deal with.

So, RIP Sam Jackson, while trying to reboot the whole system, he gets eaten by Raptors and then Dern has to go and try to reset the whole system, and is attacked both by Jackson's amputated arm and some other velociraptors.

That's Dr.

Arnold.

Meanwhile Muldoon, who basically tried to give her the chance to do all of this.

Give her the chance.

And do you know what?

I feel like he has a Kathy Heathcliff relationship with the Raptors.

He has such an obsession, like a love-hate, weird vibe with them.

He's so obsessed and then at the same time just like can't, hates them so much.

I was like, there's another story in there.

So he tries to hunt for the Raptors only to fall, you know, into the trap that they have actually laid for him.

And he just has time to mutter, clever girl before he's dead.

Another iconic line of a film.

What else has he been in?

I feel like he's in something else.

Every movie that had just like a British extra.

Exactly.

Someone who has to sound very posh.

Because I had it in my head weirdly that he was South Africa, but I was like, oh no, this is a very, very posh English accent that we're hearing here.

I think I had it in my head that he was the bad guy, the guy in Jumanji, but it's not him, is it?

No, I don't think so.

No, but it does give that Victorian adventurer vibe.

It's the khaki on khaki, like the man, yeah.

And he's got the hat, like always missing is the neckerchief and probably some outdated views on many a things.

Right, so Laura Dern then manages to turn the power back on in the entire park, which arms the fence.

Pump up the charge and push to close.

There's so many buttons and steps to this, which all of a sudden, Richard Attenborough didn't know how to read a map, but clearly knows, like off the top of his head, how to do all of these steps while talking into a walkie talkie.

I was like, I don't know what that is.

This is if anything more proof that he's just fucking around.

It's all a plan to get the kids on the fence.

Which to be fair, actually ended up working out successfully because Laura Dern arms the fence as the kids try to climb down and Tim gets electrocuted in a scene that I think is actually really, really dark when like we don't see him, but Sam Neil has to perform CPR on a 10 year old.

And it's awful.

But it's been a week, like unless you're a minute later.

It's also a 10 year old who doesn't know that well.

Yeah.

I mean, how do you even like kiss that much for this one?

I've still not become a defender of children.

I'm pretty sure we watched it like ages ago.

We were like frying the kids.

I will say though, this, this film, like as much as dinosaurs obviously don't exist.

I mean, I'm not, I'm not pretending.

I'm not saying that dinosaurs never existed.

I'm not a dinosaur denier.

But what I mean by that though, is that dinosaurs obviously they're a threat.

But as a child, you watch that.

And whenever you go into a field in the UK and there are bulls in the field and there is a fence around it, my God, you will not go near that fence.

You do think you're gonna go flying.

And I have accidentally put my hand on one of those fences and some of them are slugs.

Accidentally, I've done it on purpose.

Okay, Charlotte, what is wrong with you?

It's so nihilistic.

As a kid, you do it to find out what it feels like.

No, because you've seen Jurassic Park.

Look at Sam Neil performing CPR on you.

That was the point, Harry.

Did you look around and see who was around you first?

And then you were like, it's worth it.

It's never worked out for me, guys.

Well, in fact, we used to get electrocuted all the time at home.

Okay, you just looked at me, Grace.

I would like to say that that is so much worse.

No, we had a fence as well right next to us with like cows and bulls in it.

Yeah.

And we would hit the ball off the wall.

The wall would go, if we weren't quick enough to get it, it would go over into the field next door.

So you chose to go over the electric fence?

Or else we'd go all the way, like three or four hundred percent gate and go through all of the bulls.

No, you jump in to get the ball.

Yeah, the electrocution is not that bad.

No, it was fine.

But it was the black wire.

Oh, like you remember one time, we just went up the whole way back and I was like, no, let's not do it again.

I suppose it's just to deter sheep and not a T-Rex.

Yes, exactly.

It wasn't sheep.

It was bulls and cows.

We didn't have sheep and cork.

Oh, that's Kerry.

I should have known.

Sorry, time went from Kerry.

Sorry, I'll go back to my Irish agriculture rules.

Only cows up here, huh?

Only cows.

I hope it's not a website.

Anyway, so we're all elitituted.

So luckily, you know, in some people's opinion, though apparently not all, Tim survives and the kids and Sam Neil do make it back to the compound.

And Lex and Tim pig out on, honestly, the most glorious buffet of cakes.

They are so lucky to find that.

It looks so incredible.

And Sam Neil and Laura Dern are reunited and her hair's now open and like sexy disheveled.

And she's got like this, she's got these shorts and boot combo.

Like she, oh.

She pumped up the charge and pushed it closed.

Yeah.

She did.

She get elitituted.

She's revealed her blouse.

She's got a purple little vest on.

She thought she'd got rid of the kid and she was ready to make new ones.

She was ready.

I mean, she's so desperate.

I mean, she had a full on wide on watching the parenting moment.

That is direct.

Yes, she does.

In the end, big time.

That is a horrific turn.

Yes, it is.

Isn't it gross?

Are you so proud?

Isn't it gross?

I'll only say it once.

You get one wide on pass per episode.

Per episode?

Oh, thank you.

I turn that back.

Meanwhile, the Raptors have actually managed to get into the compound because they are basically more intelligent than humans and they have no trouble opening doors and they snork the kids to the industrial kitchen in what may well be like the most tense scene ever committed to film.

It's a pure horror movie.

It's so good.

I will say I actually was going for them to win in that stage.

I was like, oh, these T-Rexes are bad guys.

You know, I was like, hey, come on kids.

But then I also was like.

Wow, you went through the worst.

That really changed your mind.

But it was very tense.

The best bit is when the raptor is running towards the steel door, thinking it is going to.

The reflection.

Yeah, but it's just a reflection of her in a little door.

So good.

They are, the raptors are horrible.

Sometimes genius.

Yeah.

And so the kids managed to escape just about.

And then it's Laura Dern, Sam Neil and the kids all make it into the control room.

The raptors are like relentless, still try to get in as they try to reboot the system, to arm everything.

And now it's Lexus time to shine.

Because a 13-year-old computer nerd can definitely operate the system of this entire park.

It's a Unix system, so she can.

And she does.

And she makes it possible.

Then also for Amber and Goldblum, who are still in a bunker to call for help.

And they rearm the entire park, but the Raptors are very committed girlies, and they really don't give up.

And they really hate children.

They really do.

So Sam Neil, Laura Dern and the kids are basically about to be Raptor food.

And the second before it can happen, the deus ex dinosaur moment appears.

The T-Rex, who has somehow managed to enter a human building, mama's home, dashes in and munches on the Raptors like they're lunch meat.

And then it roars as a banner falls in front of it and everything is fucking out.

It's so sad.

Can we talk about the T-Rex roar, actually?

Because the sound in this film, it's a mixture of different sounds, including the lowest sound is an alligator.

And the highest is a baby elephant.

And they just blended them all together.

Yeah.

And it's a load of different sounds, like a real amalgamation of different animal sounds.

They didn't use a real T-Rex.

What?

And vocal cords aren't surviving.

I like the neck ligaments, which obviously would survive.

The posterior neck ligaments.

But like the sheer, like Spielberg deliberately chose to, for us to hear the T-Rex before we ever saw it.

And I think that delivers that level of tension and horror throughout the film.

When you hear that baby elephant, my god, I know.

You know what's coming for you.

Mama's on her way.

So good, so good.

So because the T-Rex actually comes in and saves the day, all the humans manage to escape and they make it off the island in a helicopter.

Even Attenborough then has to admit that the power of creation is too vast for humans to hold and monetize.

And maybe you should have considered having that level of humility before so many people died, but you know, like, it's human to learn.

How else are you going to find out that life finds a way?

Exactly.

And Sam Neil now likes children, as you pointed out, Harry.

Not in that way.

For any lawyers listening.

Now they're all dead.

For the ones in this.

Bitten in half.

Lex will forever have a fetish for, you know, Sam Neil type characters, because it's over now.

I'm starting to wonder how much Charlotte aligns with this Lex character.

I feel like we've discovered Charlotte's origin story.

Not really, though, because I also found her like very annoying as a kid, and I was definitely more in Cam Goldblum.

But I think weirdly now, you know, with the wisdom of age, I was like, this is.

You just know Lex became this chronically online person, just hoping to find some paleontologist to fall in love with her.

Okay, now it does sound like me.

Fair, I'll own it.

But yeah, Laura Dern embraces like a more like sleek hair look, which is very sexy.

And the freshest face on that helicopter.

All of a sudden, all the dirt has disappeared.

Like just looking fresh faced as anything.

Just a full Korean skincare regime.

Exactly.

Survival gives you that glow.

It gives you the hue, the dewy look.

And then we get to listen to John Williams' incredible score as we fly across the ocean and never to be the same again.

I'm so sorry for getting that in everyone's head.

But it will find a way.

It will find a way.

And that is Jurassic Park.

Absolute masterpiece.

That is the alligator sound from there.

Who would like to do baby elephant?

Blow the microphones out.

Yeah.

Just a fabulous movie.

And I think, you know, when we talk about, you know, what makes this a seminal part of The Bi-Panic Room, I think obviously the stars are like a massive.

Huge.

A massive part of that.

It's the outdoor outfits.

And then also, I think it's the whole concept of trying to contain something that can't be contained.

Do you know what I mean?

Bursting together.

Literally everything Lex is, says and does.

At least I think so.

And the storm, the storm that threatens them all.

Oh, weather, so by.

Weather is always so by.

Exactly.

Weather in general is by.

According to IMDB trivia, that is supposed to show, the way the storm destroys everything is meant to show how they shouldn't try to control nature.

And it also just gives us Jeff Goldblum in a shirt that's completely soaking wet.

Sodden.

Ultimately, it shows us that we can't control the force of nature that is Jeff Goldblum.

Well, he did decide just to remain completely open-shirted throughout the rest of the film, which was just an outstanding editorial choice.

Just his chest hair with a little chain just casually just bouncing around as he was lying as if he was on a chaise longue.

I used to have a mug with that photograph.

Used to?

I know, I got rid of it when I moved as I should really get another one.

I'll order one right now for you.

One for each.

I can go along with Charlotte.

Get a little bit of mine if you want.

With the purple, yeah.

We'll get mugs.

Okay, fine.

This can go with Charlotte's pussy wagon key ring that she's getting for Christmas as well.

All the swag for me.

All that merch.

So moment of the film for you.

Oh, I'm going to go first and take it.

The moment of the sunglasses.

Oh, yeah.

The big reveal in the Jeep.

It was the big reveal because I think it was the first slow-mo zoom in on her face as well.

And I was like, oh my God.

Like a proper O face that she was giving as well.

I kind of have to sadly jump on that bandwagon because I do think, and it's not just the sunglasses.

That whole scene, I think.

I mean, and it's not just about the bi-energy, but it's just so moving.

Like the music is so good.

And I feel like there's just nothing like it.

Harry.

Oh, I think it's just when Jeff is lying there so unnecessarily open-shirted, just in recovery, but he could totally be doing more.

But he's just lying there like on his elbow, legs stretched out, man spreading.

Like Jeff, you look incredible.

Well done.

So mine is when Laura Dern has her entire arm up to her arm in a pile of shit.

Good choice.

I need to inspect the droppings.

That is one big pile of shit.

It's actually made out of clay and straw.

And they use papaya and honey to make the flies go around it.

So I'm sure it was some tasty shit.

I could have eaten that.

But no, I didn't.

That's really my moment.

I think I have to agree.

It's the lesbian jeep with Sam Neil in his neckerchief.

The neckerchief.

His hat and his denim.

And then Laura Dern, it's the gentle head turn.

The gentle head turn.

It's the way he slowly removes all his accessories as he's standing up.

Yeah, accessories are.

The sunglasses can't.

The red jeep that I feel like anyone wants.

I've really loved it.

I'm going to hop to climbs, you know, 100%.

I feel like if you took my sunglasses off, I'd be like, I can't see anything.

My prescriptions gone.

Worth it.

We all wear glasses.

Laura Dern is way hotter than all of us.

Oh, her glasses are so gorgeous as well.

They are fab.

With like the double nose brim thing.

Can we add that to our merch?

Yeah, I'm going to start Googling those.

Look for those glasses.

We're all going to be on the next episode with Laura Dern's sunglasses.

Just the outfits.

Just the app.

Oh, just her little hiking boots.

What outfits for the episode?

Her little safari chic moment.

Safari chic.

I like it.

It'll be outfits for Tyler.

Oh, my God, it should be.

Yeah, when we go to it.

By land.

The gift that keeps on giving, honestly.

All right.

I think that's...

Any last thoughts on Jurassic Park?

Come on, Grace.

I was going to say Bi finds a way, but...

I'm so sorry.

It does.

It do find a way.

Shall we now move on to our BPE?

And this is a cultural experience we had this week that really gave us bi-panic energy.

And we'll just go around and hear what everyone has to contribute.

And shall we start with Grace?

Okay, so mine is, I feel like this is a common experience that people of our age have, millennials on Instagram.

I was heavily targeted as a bi woman on Instagram.

My algorithm clearly just pulled me in with some content from an artist I've never heard of before whose name is, and I feel like you must have had this as well, I feel like she's probably in your feed, a girl called Rosemary Jo Quinn is according to her Instagram, how you pronounce that.

She's part of mine.

She's come up on yours.

Yeah.

And it's like, it's some kind of thing where it's like, oh, my friends didn't know what my song was about.

And I was like, oh, what's this about?

Hooked.

And it was obviously gay.

And it's this really, it's an absolute bop called It Was Me.

And it's about spilling a secret gay relationship in the group chat.

And it's an absolute bop.

And I thoroughly recommend everyone listening to it.

It's great.

Do you know what?

I'm going to get Alexa to play it in a minute.

And oh good, she wasn't listening to me.

But yeah, that's my Bi-Energy of the Week, because I was absolutely glad to be targeted by the algorithm.

Sometimes the algorithms are there to help us.

They just know you so well.

That's how they get you as well.

Show me one good thing and I'll believe you forever.

Exactly.

And I'm hooked.

I don't even mind, I'm happy.

Perhaps she bros.

Still.

To be fair, Tessa, that's not on brand.

I know.

She can't get off Zoopla.

I mean, we're all talking about real estate.

We need more real estate.

Exactly, your phone is listening, so it's not wrong.

All right, Tessa, what's your Bi-P?

So my Bi-P of the Week is, so a bit of background and probably a bit too much TMI, but my cycle has been all over the place for like the last year.

I started last year and it's never recovered.

So sometimes it could be 30 days, sometimes be 90 days.

I hope some people have had this experience as well.

Anyway, Grace and I, so poor Grace sometimes has a very short cycle.

She could be going like every 25 days, like she is Leola Lewis bleeding love.

Sometimes I'm like a poor gal, but I'm always very like almost arrogant being like, not me, like see you later.

Anyway, just to let you know, me and Grace today have reached absolute peak lesbianism, that we've actually synced down to 30 minutes of a difference.

I mean, that is honestly incredible.

I am shook because it's this mythical thing going around about two girls, are they going to sync?

And we've always had this joke of like, sync, sync, sync, and then it's happened.

And because yours has been late and mine has been just like normal.

This must be a new record.

It is a new record, yeah.

Within a half an hour.

Guinness Book of Records, are you listening?

I wonder how long you guys can keep it going?

You know, I know we'll tune back in a month's time.

Yeah, I'm happy to keep this cycle going longer because, you know, I'm happy for it to go more your way than my way.

Yeah, it's great.

Otherwise, we're going to be fucking insufferable for everybody to deal with.

I know, I'm just going to like make a mental log of today.

Do you wonder how much we hate kids today?

Oh, now I understand.

That's why.

Oh, I get it.

Our periods are controlling our emotions.

I know, Charlotte, don't suggest having children to delay a period for nine months.

It's not worth it.

I don't have that excuse.

I just found them irritating.

So that's what gave me my panic energy today, because I was like, oh, cool, it's working.

Finally, something good.

Harry, how's your menstrual cycle?

Oh, nonexistent.

You do have a BPE.

I do absolutely have a BPE.

Mine yet again comes from the Olympics, which I have not turned off at all during the last two weeks.

Specifically from the pole vaulter, Mondo Duplantis.

Sweet Jesus.

He is so wonderful.

He's as if Jeremy Allen White from The Bear and Timothy Chalamet had just a gorgeous amalgamation and were Olympic pole vaulters, which is suddenly the sexiest sport.

There's a specific moment where he breaks the world record just on his own.

Eighty thousand people in the stadium are watching him.

He flies over the pole, the bar, the bar, and before he even lands on the mat, he is running over to his absolutely outstanding girlfriend who's called Desiree.

We can't even be jealous.

No, I can't.

It's just there to just watch it happen and applaud the beauty of both of them.

They're just gorgeous.

And someone has done like a little mash up video of her POV of him running over as he's flying.

Oh, and just to Taylor Swift, the alchemy.

He's like, where's the trophy?

He comes running over to me.

And it's just heartwarming.

You want to cry.

Your algorithms have really gotten you.

They know me so well.

I was just going to say Taylor Swift and the Olympics.

That man literally set the bar so high, world record breakingly high, and he reached it.

Ran over to Taylor Swift, who I'm sure just popped into the stadium.

And I just thought, God, if I was in that stadium, I would have been like sobbing, and go, I saw you from across the stud to France, and I really like your vibe.

Can I be a third?

Please invite me in.

But sadly, that was not the case.

I was just watching it from home with my cat.

Just as happy, though.

I agree.

That was a very close second for me, to be fair.

I mean, the Olympics really have been, I think, giving us a lot of BPE.

Because I'm the same.

I've been watching nonstop, and I was like, okay, so which moment from the Olympics is going to be my BPE?

Like, is it going to be, you know, men's diving?

Is it going to be women's beach volleyball?

That certainly came close.

And then I decided it was going to be women's handball.

Now, I don't know if handball is like a sport that is big in the UK, but back in Germany, like if you did, if you were a girl and you wanted to do team sports, like after school clubs, that was really, really popular.

And I absolutely did not want to have anything to do with that whatsoever.

Horrific, but if you were really unlucky during PE at school, they would make you play handball.

And so it would be like 10 girls who had no idea what the fuck was going on.

And then all the girls who played in a league after school.

And then you would just have these girls, we're just trying to get through the double PE lesson.

And then you have the girls who take it so seriously.

And you're just standing in front of the goal, like, please don't kill me.

No, but like when you play defense.

Oh, I see.

I have no idea how this game works.

And like looking at the game, like today was semi-finals.

It was France against Sweden.

And it's just these incredibly fit women with a high ponytail, like running at each other, like about to throw a ball in each other's face at 50 miles an hour with a face contorted in anger.

And it really triggered like my trauma from being like in PE lessons where something very similar was happening to me.

And at the same time, it did make me think like, oh, maybe there was more going on there.

That leaving me very lost in my impression.

Yes.

So that really took me back.

Wow.

Is it like dodgeball?

It sounds like dodgeball.

I'm surprised you never had, we had to play netball when we went to uni here.

And I was like, I'm not playing this English sport.

It's horrible.

Yeah, I've never played handball.

Played netball.

It's really violent.

Oh, they're different.

Oh, I'm thinking, oh, yeah.

Netball is like basketball.

It's slow.

Well, yeah, yeah.

So it's like a really small goal on each side.

And you do have a goalie on each side, but you have this ball in your hand and you basically jump and then you throw with everything you've got.

And most sometimes it lands on someone's face.

Just awful.

Exactly.

I missed the turn.

Searching handball groups.

Oh my god, there's going to be like a finale at some point, you know, to day or tomorrow.

I mean, you have absolutely been watching a lot because the BBC aren't showing handball.

Yeah, it was on BBC Extra.

Oh, I know.

There's actually a link between two of our Bi-Energies this week, which is the Olympics.

I don't know what you were going to say there.

Leona Lewis, Bleeding Love.

The Olympics and dinosaurs.

So the gal who won the gold medal for...

Briony.

Oh, yeah.

Yes, trampolining gal.

Trampolining gal.

I really enjoyed the meme that came off this.

So she won gold medal in trampolining for Great Britain.

But she's also a fucking paleontologist.

So someone said...

She's Laura Dern.

I really enjoyed the meme that was like, you tell seven year olds who are on their trampoline playing with dinosaurs that they can't be that when they grow up.

She's fucking proving everyone wrong.

She's got them both.

Which is the ultimate bi-energy, right?

She had the best of both worlds.

Anyway, I thought I'd just share that.

Do you think she watched Jurassic Park?

Yeah, 100 percent.

She thinks she's our age.

She's younger than we are, I think, maybe.

And so, yeah, absolutely.

Thank you for including me in the we.

Yeah, we're all the same age.

We're all millennials who watch Jurassic Park.

Millennials means we're all the same age.

Exactly.

All right, lovely.

I think that concludes our BPE of the week.

And now we're going to go and transition to our wild card choice, which this week will be presented by Tessa.

Woo!

So this takes us to my choice of the wild card movie this week, which is also released in 1993.

So paralleling to Jurassic Park.

There's actually a few parallels, you know, anyway, is Demolition Man.

No, I can't wait for you to draw the parallels between Demolition Man and Jurassic Park.

Well, we've got the years over.

The only way you can introduce it is Demolition Man.

Demolition Man.

She's the Demolition Man.

You gotta love dumb knowledge.

But you said to me, you're going to be nice to me today.

I actually can't believe this.

I lied.

I'm brilliant.

Anyway, so we're staring.

I, in my opinion, a very attractive, youthful Sylvester Stallone.

I think it's probably his best looking role to date.

Very young Sandra Bullock, which questionable acting.

But anyway, we also then have Benjamin Pratt, which is a bit of a nice treat in there as well.

Also very Joker-esque Wesley Snipes, who plays a super bad man, crazy villain.

Plot is pretty straightforward.

I'm just laughing at the idea of you're about to try and somehow summarize that plot.

You have a very serious look on your face.

Like you are going for it.

I need to go for it now.

So we flash forward or flash back.

It's a bit confusing what we actually, because it's set in 2032 LA, which is no longer LA.

It's now San Andreas.

As we know, there's been some issues happened.

There's been an earthquake has happened.

There's been the whole city has been torn apart by riots.

So we then flash back to 1996, where we see a building on fire.

Wesley Snipes going absolutely crazy with his bleach blonde hair.

He's got some hostages.

They're dead.

Apparently.

You're really going into detail.

And we see Sylvester Stone, in his very first moment, jumping into this burning building to try and, I don't know why he didn't just kill Wesley Snipes at the beginning, but then he obviously-

He launches himself.

Launches himself into the movie.

And for me, that was my first moment of, okay, here's a big strong man.

Do I like him?

And I was like, this is confusing.

Rolling around in the heat of the fire.

Well, yes.

And then off for Wesley Snipes, who again, equally is just so crazy that you're like, okay, he's kind of cool.

Anyway, they have a big bit of a fight.

They get caught, the whole building blows up.

And we then come to 2032, where we find out that they have been cryogenically frozen, which is the prison.

Again, not sure why we couldn't just go to regular prison and, but again, so similar to Jurassic Park, my first parallel is going to be science, the science holds up.

Life finds a way.

Life does find a way.

They're both contained in amber.

To be fair, that is quite an BP moment, is the schlong, the schlong of dark.

Oh, when they're frozen and in the most provocative poses.

Legs open, camera panning around with the music credits coming in, the intro.

He's got a bit of an O face actually, in the way they freeze him.

Well, because the camera's up his undercarriage.

And just to bring it again, we have our opening credits, which you know, that block writing.

Oh, yeah.

Don't try and get us with the credits here, Tessa.

I mean, I will give, I will give you that, Tessa.

The credits really sound effects on the credits.

I almost have, I think, did we not say it also resembles speeds opening slightly with the lift shafts.

So we then, we basically come to 2032.

Again, something sinister about it, quite similar to Jurassic Park and their motives.

This is such a tenuous link.

There's a nefarious character afoot, therefore they must be similar.

Yes, there's a Pope.

So we've come across the leader of the New World, who also looks like Pope John Paul.

I'm not going to ask what the bi-energy is here.

No, he's no bi-energy so far.

We have Wesley Snipes, who's been released from the prison, and he brutally murders William Smithers.

Murder, death, kill.

We've got an MDK.

Gets his eyeball out.

And Wesley Snipes doesn't really say why he's been released.

It's just that he's been released with these very certain skillset that he now is able to work in the future.

So for anyone who was wondering what the future is like in 2032, give it a watch, because it's pretty accurate so far.

We have electric cars.

We have really nice police uniforms, which I think adds to the whole energy.

I think we have those now.

Well, they might get nicer.

They might get nicer.

Well, they might get nicer.

They're like jodhpas, really.

They're very tight in the thigh.

Yeah.

And they have like that dark green, you know.

Oh, the green is nice.

The movie from The Wild Blue.

Video calling.

We have video calling, which, so again, I want to say 93.

This was something that was never thought of, really.

No cash.

Cash is society.

I mean, the biggest plot hole, really, is that everyone gets on.

Oh, do they?

Well, yes, leading to the underworld, which is then all throughout the film, there seems to be this underworld lurking.

And we basically find out that the Pope, who is actually the new free world leader, has actually released Wesley Snipes and he wants him to go kill the Underworld, which is where basically the 90s are.

You've got rat burgers, you've got music, we've got, there's a lot of families down there.

It looks not like the nicest place to live, but they want to be not controlled.

So, yeah, I want to basically go into where this gave you a bi-panic energy, because I feel like you guys are all looking at me.

So far, we've got the Pope, rat burgers.

We've got, it's a bit of a load on yourself.

Sandy Bullock's shitty acting.

I mean, her acting is bad, but also you could say it's quite good, because she's playing this absolute dumb bitch of, oh my God, what is the past?

Like, she's got fantastic lines like, lick his ass, blow him, which are actually, we're going to blow him away and we're going to kick his ass.

I think Slicestone plays a very good, I think he just plays himself, really, where he's like, this is just ridiculous.

Like, you need to get your, like, do a bit more learning.

Go on, then, get into it.

I'm kind of getting into it.

We're already swimming in the River of Ham at this point.

So my main thing really is going to be, I think Sandra Bullock, I think, obviously one of her biggest fans, I think.

In this movie, I think just she came on, there was Sylvester Sloan as well, who usually wouldn't find the most attractive bodybuilding, not really into, but in this movie, I think the two of them together, they have zero chemistry.

You're really selling this.

No, but I think it's just a movie I grew up watching, having so much comfort because there was two people in the movie that I really wanted to be.

I wanted to be Sandra Bullock, this like in the new world, is like this fantastic police officer who is able to hack into stuff and is able like, we can control this from a computer versus Sylvester Sloan, who is, I'm going to go kill someone with my bare hands.

I'm going to go sort this problem out physically.

And between the two of them, I was like, I had to say which person I like prefer.

Really, I think you're going to absolutely not elude me.

I mean, is there more evidence that you would like to present before we go and put this to a vote?

Ah, I feel.

Oh, actually, something that was mentioned earlier that I thought of myself, is that it's probably the first film that we've had an actual sex scene in.

Is it a sex scene?

Well, it's more sex scene than anything else we've watched this whole like few months.

I mean, there's no physical touching.

There is no physical touching.

There's just brain stimulation.

But it's the future, Charlotte.

Bio-oculus.

I mean, it looks very efficient.

And sounds like a fact.

You can just get on with your days right afterwards.

No risk of children.

Sandy Bullock says no fluid.

Ew.

I think I quite like that cleanliness and hygienic part of it, which is like, yeah, we don't touch people in the future.

So sexy.

I feel like I should take something away from that.

Be well.

Be well.

What is it?

Mellow greetings.

Mellow greetings.

Yeah.

Be well.

Lenina Huxley.

Lenina Huxley.

She sounds like a cartoon pig.

You are not wrong.

Add Sandy Bullock.

I really enjoyed how she proposed the idea of sex with Sylvester Stallone.

Yeah.

And just to set it so clinically, but with excitement.

But also I want to go back into Sylvester Stallone, how he quickly moves on from his dead wife and his daughter who could be out there somewhere.

He was mourning than the scene before, but once a horny Sandy B comes up with a VR headset.

What would you do?

One fight scene.

I mean, I'd be getting the headset on.

Both things can be true at the same time.

Human is a complex being.

Mourn and be engaged in VR sex at the same time.

I'm going to get absolutely annihilated here.

Now you are.

I mean, obviously, benefit of the doubt and everything.

We've all recently seen the film.

So I think we're now in a good position to sort of put in our two cents about whether we think this deserves to be in The Bi-Panic Room.

Well, I think my, I suppose, just from my own perspective, when I was watching this at probably, I think eight might have been the youngest I watched it.

Target audience for the movie.

It definitely was.

I remember I had a video of Lucy Orr and I would always cut off the first, the first five minutes were always missed of it.

So I used to be so frustrated, like so annoyed I never got to see Sylvester Sloan launching himself into the building.

But yeah, I think again, similar to my Pierce Brosnan infatuation, I think it was a very time I used to watch.

I used to watch that movie probably once a week, like problems.

But yeah, I just found a lot of comfort in it.

I think I've watched it back as an adult.

I was like, oh, because I find some of my own how I actually come across sometimes is like picked up from some mannerisms they have, which is, I don't know if it's good or bad thing.

Just living in 2032.

Not touching anyone.

I have yet to see you exhibit some Wesley Snipes characteristics from the film.

Yeah, maybe I won't go around killing people, but I find him actually hilarious on it as well.

He's like having fun in the film, which is most of his dialogue is just to himself.

Just having a great time.

Gorgeous.

I would recommend everyone give the movie at least one watch, just to see what the future is going to be like in 2032.

But I can see already you guys are all going to say.

Fine.

I'll go first.

Benjamin Broward, obviously, beautiful man, and actually pretty fun in the movie, I would say.

Sylvester Stallone, just brick wall in every way.

Absolutely not.

Sandy B, love the woman, obviously, in Speed.

We sing her praises.

In this movie, we talked about what she's trying to play, but she is so terrible at it.

And I'm sorry, the over-plucked eyebrows alone also mean that I'm feeling no bi-panic energy whatsoever from her side.

Just panic.

Just so much fore-head.

Just panic.

I feel like we really tried and I-

Did you fall asleep during it?

I had a power nap.

I definitely thought she did.

Yeah, yeah, but I'm pretty sure I didn't miss out on any sort of like super heavy bi-vibe.

So I'm so sorry, Tessa, it's going to be a no from me.

I just, I love, I love your World Cup picks so much because they are so outlandish that it just, it's the funnest out of all of them.

It's basically any movie that was played on RT, so that's our national.

Don't blame the Irish for this.

I mean, guys, honestly, if you think this is the most out there pick she's going to present, you are in for a treat.

I think we should only be from Tessa from now on.

That would be a very empty room.

Because they are capital, doesn't mean wild card choices for sure.

But yeah, Harry?

There are many things that I enjoyed about Demolition Man.

Most of it was that the whole plot was a real surprise to me.

I knew nothing about it until I started watching it.

Demolition Man.

Sylvester Stallone agreed, not one that causes any action down under for me.

Although he is sculpted to The High Heavens, and the freezing scene when he's naked.

And you think, could that be a penis?

Could it be a modesty panel?

Who knows?

Literally the most exciting part of the film.

But then he's frozen for a couple of decades.

Sandra Bullock's character is just bizarre.

I love how she's fascinated with like 90s culture, and she's got all these posters of things to make us go, I remember that.

But it's just something about her, like piercing weird eyes.

And the way she uses mellow greetings.

Oh, it's such a bizarre choice.

Benjamin Bratt is a little saviour of handsome energy for me to have something to look at.

And the mole people don't quite do it for me.

I mean, there's some sexy dirt going on there, but we don't fully commit to it, so it doesn't work.

No, I mean, like the arousement that Sandra Bullock gets towards the car that she finds surrounded by the mole people.

That's quite nice.

But then that's again a bit like the woman that married the Eiffel Tower.

We can't be attracted to things like that, who I will bring up as often as I can.

It's like the Olympics, my wild cards.

My ultimate favourite thing is that how much you love it and how much it was just a core part of your childhood, but not one of mine that I can identify with.

But please continue hitting them our way because I really enjoy them and I really, really enjoy trying to get some bi-panic from it.

Every five minutes watch it, so have you panicked yet?

Oh, is it sly, it's alone so handsome.

Has the tingling begun?

No, we're dim waterfalls.

I think I actually was happy that you actually liked the movie a tiny bit.

It wasn't, I think it was above your expectations.

It was funnier than I thought it was going to be.

I did really enjoy Sandra Bullock's attempts at 90s slang.

We're going to go lick his ass.

And just bringing, you know, bit of, you know, rim play into a 90s movie is something.

It's a film that was ahead of its time.

So ahead of its time.

I mean, it's everywhere now, but it's.

So we want to know what happens with the three seashells.

Oh, that does create intrigue.

But yeah, Harry, so, I mean, what's your verdict?

I love that it gives you bi-panic energy, Tessa.

But for me, it'll just be joining Uma Thurman on the outsides of the bi-panic room for me.

So it is unfortunately a begrudging no, but please continue with these excellent choices.

We've waited long enough.

It's now over to Grace.

Well, so I've seen this film twice now, and I'm the same as Harry.

I think I had no idea.

I thought it was going to be like The Expendables was my thought, date on the title, Demolition Man.

That, or like an episode of DIYSOS.

Nick Knoll.

It's not the Expendables.

I mean, DIYSOS absolutely going in The Bi-Panic Room.

You Nick Knoll it.

I absolutely agree that I don't necessarily think this film, I couldn't hand on heart say to anybody, you are universally going to get any form of sexual awakening from this film, although, having said that, the one point that I think does kind of give this level of tension is the costume, is the outfits.

I do think the uniforms, as much as they are erring on bad guy uniforms, they're worn by the good guys, and that high waist, I will say, does some things for Sylvester Stallone.

Also Sandy B and her leg ins.

Yeah.

Like that is the one thing.

Excellent hip work.

And Sylvester Stallone, he was actually clocking him in those high-weighted trousers.

I did get a moment of, Sylvester Stallone, hello.

Bringing something to the table.

Is that because Tessa kept saying, doesn't he look really good in this scene?

Oh my god, all the time.

Even half asleep.

I think the commentary worked.

I think that subliminal, not so subliminal messaging may have done something to me.

When you're asleep, I'm whispering in your ears.

In that satin black outfit.

This is the best he's ever looked.

I have woken up the pictures of him in front of my eyes.

And just that police uniform.

And I think there is an element of, if you want to go down the bi-panic route of trying to suppress what you might consider to be your filthy side, the mole people.

There's some kind of metaphor in there.

There's a metaphor in there.

And ultimately, because I am marrying Tessa, and because you two have already said no, and that was my hope in making you.

I'm sorry, before you cast a vote, can I just point out that when you presented She's the Man, okay, who voted for you and who did not?

I know.

Charlotte, you voted no, Caspar.

So I'm coming for you.

But I also voted no to Mrs.

Doubtfire.

And Kill Bill.

Ultimately, guys, this is a tactical vote because I know it's not going to the panic room.

So this is completely...

You thought I was making you two go first so that I could rip this.

After this, I'm outlawing tactical voting.

Wait, I thought that was the first two votes, isn't it?

No.

Oh, no.

But it is an absolute majority.

So by making you two go first, I knew it was going to be safe for me.

Next week, you are going first.

Bye.

To vote.

I love you.

You can still change your mind.

I'm sorry, demolition man.

Demolition man.

You are demolition man.

You are outside The Bi-Panic Room, sitting there with She's the Man and Kill Bill.

But I tried my best and I voted yes to support my fiance.

Thank you, Grace.

This shameless pandering will not be allowed on this podcast.

Charlotte, we are going to start an alliance.

Okay, I take it back.

No tactical voting.

I'm demolition man.

I'm sorry.

It bombed.

It did bomb.

I agree with Harry.

I appreciate that it really gave you bi-panic energy and I will never take that away from you.

But I cannot say that it will give anybody else bi-panic energy.

It's okay.

I've learned that I can force my love of the demolition man.

I think maybe as much as you tried so many times.

But it doesn't change the fact that we love you.

You did share it with all of us.

I would say watch it with friends.

It is hilarious to watch together.

Ultimately, if you disagree and you get absolute massive bi-panic energy from this film, let us know.

We're happy to be wrong.

If you are turned by this film, please.

We want to know.

I will pay for your transfer.

If you figure out the three seashells, let us know.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, shocking turn of the face.

It's going to take me some time to get over this and recover from it.

But it's two to two.

And like Grace said, it doesn't have to be unanimous, but it has to be a majority.

So, Demolition Man will not be making it into The Bi-Panic Room.

But again, Tessa, like we all said, keep them coming because they are fucking fab.

So much fun.

I have another one, I haven't had a slice of one in my mind, so don't worry.

Everybody hold your breath.

Okay, lovely.

That's all this week for The Bi-Panic Room.

And we'll see you guys again for our next choices.

Thank you very much for listening.

Bye with an I.

Bye with an I.

Bye with an I.

Bye with an I.

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