#6 - 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

 

Get ready, guys, that must be Nigel with the Brie!

In this episode, the gang covers the 1999 cinematic masterpiece ⁠10 Things I Hate About You⁠, starring Julia Stiles, Heath Ledger, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Larisa Oleynik in a loose adaptation of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew.

In true biconic fashion, there are two divided camps on who to fancy. White shirt or black shirt? They’re just so different.

This film has it all: Allison Janney's guidance counsellor's writing smut, insufferable requests for agua, and the 90's classic - brushing a strand of hair behind the ear right before you kiss.

This week’s bi-panic energy (BPE) feature the horrors of UK weather, the Olympics and Charlotte delivering an impromptu German lesson you won’t find on Duolingo. Grace brings it home with another white middle-class wild card pick.

What will it be? Well it makes for a Shakespearean double whammy. We’re highbrow like that. Gotta lifetime o' knowledge.

 

Listen to full episode :

Episode Transcript

[Please note that transcripts are automatically generated so may not be 100% accurate]

Welcome to The Bi-Panic Room, a bi-monthly podcast exploring the films and television series that trigger bisexual panic, aka bi-panic.

Hi, welcome to this week's episode of The Bi-Panic Room.

I'm joined by my co-hosts, Harry, Charlotte and Grace.

In today's episode, we'll get into the 1999 teen drama comedy set in Sunny Seattle, which is something very unusual apparently.

10 Things I Hate About You.

Starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, a very young Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Do it.

You can do it.

Larisa Oleynik.

It's also corrected to Paris.

Paris Hilton.

Also worth a mention, this is an adoption of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew.

So yeah, let's get straight into the plot.

So this, for anyone who hasn't watched it recently, is we've got Heath Ledger, who's playing super bad boy, Patrick Verona.

We've got Julia Stiles, who is Miss...

Catrina.

Yeah, Caterina.

Strafford.

Strafford, who seems to have issues.

She's not happy.

She's a very emo punk, a teenager.

Also followed by her younger sister, Bianca, who is, she's Miss Princess in the movie.

And basically follows the two of them.

And of course, a young Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who moves to the school and falls instantly in love with Bianca.

The plot twist of the whole thing, though, is no one can take out one of the Strafford sisters unless they both go out.

This is due to their very strict, overbearing father, who's also a gynecologist and rich.

And troubled.

There's a lot going on in the Stratford family.

Where is the mom?

Because I thought she died, but she didn't know she left.

No, she fled.

And when you see the plot of the father's storyline, you can see why.

You can see why.

So then brings in the plot of how are we going to get these sisters out.

In comes then, Joey, who is Mr.

Mr.

Bad Boy.

Seems to not get along with Kat in the beginning, but I feel there's a big dark history between the two of them.

And yeah, it basically goes into how to make Katarina go out, so that Bianca can go out with Joseph Lorden.

What's his character name in it?

Ok, Cameron.

Cameron.

Just call him Cameron.

So aka Cameron.

I mean, we start off obviously with Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cameron is new to this school that all of the kids go to.

And the first person he meets is our headmistress played by Allison Janney, honestly, who basically has a Christine Baranski role from Cruel Intentions in this movie.

Very limited airtime.

And getting the best lines.

And she basically does not give a shit about any of these kids.

And all she wants to do is write her smart novel.

Pulsating member.

Bratwurst.

Clevering.

And too messent.

Too messent.

Really, I just want to see her spin off.

She deserves a prequel, sequel and a reboot.

And read her book.

And read her book.

I want to see the full thing.

Pulsating member.

Pulsating member, yes.

All of the important stuff.

And then Cameron gets taken under the wing of David Crumholds, who is like the resident nerd, but kind of knows everyone in school.

And in a mean girls like scenario, introduces him to all the factions at school.

And then Cameron immediately crosses paths with Bianca and falls in love instantly.

She's just this beautiful, innocent princess.

And he knows nothing about her, but obviously decides that she is the girl he's in love with.

And Crumholds informs him there's no way because she has a super strict father.

So there's no way he's ever going to be able to date her.

But Cameron is like young and dumb and so like will not let that stop him.

So what they have to do is basically come up with a way for him to get the opportunity to date her.

The way he falls in love with her is a bit too instant for me.

I mean, it's all very look space then, isn't it?

Yes.

Yeah.

And we discussed this as well at the end, when he is like, you know, you kind of didn't look at me and when he was really upset with her, it's like just because you're Mr.

Nice Guy, doesn't mean she has to go out with you.

I mean, there are certain, we were talking earlier about the fact that a lot of the politics of this movie really hold up for 2024.

There are some aspects like exactly that, that really don't where just because you're nice to someone and they're nice back, doesn't necessarily entitle you to having any expectations of them.

So when he goes off on her later in the car, because he ends up, they end up sort of having it out and she, I think very honestly also tells him that actually, I didn't really have any romantic interest in you and he gets really upset.

And then the consequence of him being upset makes her kiss him.

And I'm like, I'm not loving the vibe of this.

What are we saying here?

He does also lie and pretend that he knows French so that he can get close to her.

It's a little bit creepy.

And masterminds the whole thing.

Platt is kind of cute in an old 90s movie way, when he's like, I learned French for you.

And she's like, oh, okay.

I'm not gonna sleep with you because of that.

She kisses him too.

I didn't ask you to do that.

Therefore, I owe you nothing.

Yeah, bit creepy.

But so in hindsight, actually, maybe he is deeply problematic.

But you know what?

He's played by young Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who was honestly also giving me a little bit of like Lindsay Lohan vibes in the sense that he was just a child star who has had incredible timing and like ability as an actor where you're like, it's almost creepy when a child is that good because you haven't lived life.

So why do you know how to do this?

How do you know what these like life situations are?

Exactly.

Then to bring in to, I suppose the reason that caused all this drama is they needed someone to bring Katarina out.

So the duo get together and decide to, let's get Heath Ledger, who is super bad boy, Patrick Corona, who has loads of wild stories about him, that he spent a year away in prison.

He doesn't have a liver.

Yeah, he stole his liver.

He ate a wild duck once.

He has a career in porn.

Yeah, doesn't have, you know, basically he's a bad boy that you don't want to go near or else you'll die.

So they approach him.

He is very much like, is he in the middle of like cutting up something in class?

He is setting fire to the gas taps in science class.

Yeah, and they're like, go scare Mary.

So they run away from him and they're like, what are we going to do?

And then in the end, they try and convince him.

Then they were like, right, we need some money because he's going to want money.

So they go to dumb bitch, also super hot, Joey, who is Kat's nemesis.

And basically is like, take her out.

I'll pay you because I want to take out Bianca.

So bringing in, it's like a rectangle almost of, is it a rectangle of basically.

A pentagram of lies.

Which really again brings in the whole motives of the duo, because you're kind of like, actually what you're doing is extremely underhanded as well.

You're getting the dumb rich boy to pay Heath Ledger to take out Kat, so then they can take out Bianca behind Joey's back.

Pentagram.

Pentagram.

Pentagram, yes.

And anyways, and then it all starts off from there really.

And then straight away, Heath approaches Kat and she's like, bye, I'm not into this.

Which also giving off very strong gay vibes.

When I first watched it, I was like.

I mean, she is dripping in gay vibes.

Yeah, she is.

That is also a very classic thing for a man to say, isn't it?

Like, oh, you don't fancy me.

You must be gay.

Well, it was more the fact that she was doing it.

But she is also giving the vibe, let's be honest.

Also, I like the way how later on Joseph Gordon-Levitt asks Bianca basically the same question of like, is your sister gay?

And the way they phrase it in this movie is like, is she a fan of Katie Lam?

Yeah.

But they also say that she has a picture of Jared Leto up on her wall.

Which truly is the most bisexual.

Nothing would convince me more that a woman is also into other women than if Jared Leto was more like spanked by you.

You just know that.

I think from our analysis of The Panic Room, we know.

You are questioning.

She's definitely by it.

She would have watched Panic Room in the cinemas.

I'm sorry.

Then they cut to the next scene.

So Kat is continuously rejecting Heath and his advances and cuts to then going to this bar where he's like, I cannot be seen at this bar.

Like, I'm way too cool for school.

Lesbian bar.

Go to this absolute dive lesbian bar, which I'm dying to go to.

It looks so fab.

I would go there in a heartbeat.

Same.

Yeah.

I was like, I actually was like, we need to go to a club.

And also she just sounds so insufferable.

And just like us, when she's dancing in the club, saying, I need agua.

I really cringed when she said that.

To be fair, I think while we're on the subject, I think it's so funny because when you're a teenager, she just seems so cool.

Like she doesn't give a fuck about what anyone says.

And she's so intellectual.

But now you're watching it as an adult.

You're like, you are so fucking insufferable.

She's so pretentious as well.

And her English teacher who is basically like, yeah, you're upper middle class, suburban oppression.

You're like, you are hitting the nail on her.

Clearly, her dad is so fucking rich.

Like she's got her own fancy car.

Doesn't even think twice about whether she can go to Sarah Lawrence.

Yeah.

She does not think about money at all.

Yeah.

She's like an independent woman, but she's happy for Heath Ledger to buy her a vendor and daddy to tend her to Sarah Lawrence.

But before it, you know, she was put in her place by the teacher.

Yeah.

The teacher's great.

And his scene where he wraps one of the sonnets is just amazing.

He steals the whole movie.

Don't even get me started on YouTube when he's talking about the white raster.

Again, things that completely hold up.

It's incredible.

So yeah, a bit of a bi-panic energy towards the teacher.

Definitely.

He's putting everyone in their place.

I love the fact that he cuts Joey down nonstop.

Cause Joey loves it whenever he's having a go at cat, but then he sends cat away and then Joey's like, thanks so much.

And he's like, you fucking cunt.

I hope she punches you in the face.

But yeah, back to the Lesbian Dive Bar.

Oh yeah.

We got sidetracked by the Agua.

And he's all like, talking about the bands that she likes.

Well, in the meantime, they deep dove into her room, didn't they?

And they found the Black Panies, which apparently is a sign of that sex.

She wants to have sex one day.

In Seattle, the Black Panies equals sex.

Yeah.

I actually forgot about that scene.

And then they get the blow down on what bands she likes.

And like, you know, Patrick Heath Ledger is well equipped when he goes to this absolute lesbian dive bar.

I would be questioning that, to be honest, if I was Heath Ledger.

I'd be like, hmm, like she's surrounded by all gals.

She's like, looks like she's blending in.

I mean, not saying that you can't be a straight gal.

Are we exploring what's going on?

You would just presume she's there exploring.

He's like, this is an absolute no-go.

But yeah.

She looks more than an ally.

Yeah.

And then Heath Ledger, like, you know, he's like, well, I'm too cool for school.

And like, she tries to get his attention.

And he's like, oh, you're ruining the song for me.

Yeah.

He's got a great Australian twang coming through as well.

Which they write into the film.

But maybe they had to because...

I moved from Australia.

To his, like, exotic appeal.

You know.

Can I make a confession, though, while we're on the subject?

Go on.

When I...

So I think we're clearly, as a podcast, we are divided between who gave us bi-panic energy in this film.

Was it, you know, Julia Stiles as Kat or was it her sister Bianca?

Are you going to say the friend?

No, no, no, no.

And like Tessa and I clearly like Bianca was the thing that did it for us in the same vein.

Heath Ledger never did it for me.

Oh my God.

Right.

I was probably also, this is so shameful, as a child, I was probably also more into Joey.

For the listeners out there, I am clutching my pearls.

We have very similar tastes.

But it's shameful.

So on this part, I like don't, and watching it now, I'm like, now I get it, but I was not into it.

No.

I also think I probably was more into Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

And maybe that's also a bias thing, if you think about it, because he looks like a girl.

He has a very fresh face.

He's very, very, very fresh.

He's a fetus.

I mean, so were we, where this movie came out.

This is true.

We were.

Only Heath Ledger could get away with the scene where he sings, I love you baby, down the bleachers.

Which would by most people's standards, be the most cringe-inducing thing.

But no, Heath gets away with it, and I don't quite know how.

Yeah, he makes it fun.

He slaps the police officer's arse.

Yeah, I think it's the way he got in, all the band geeks involved.

Oh, it was a real MDT approach.

I'm really better at learning French.

Planning.

Planning, yes.

Yeah, we like logistics here.

It's a buy thing.

I do think the other thing maybe also with Heath, though, is that I think, you know, he agrees to basically, when Joey then approaches him and be like, I want to go out with Bianca, you take out her older sister, Kat, and I will pay you for it.

He does it for 50 bucks in the beginning, like obviously later on.

Inflation first.

But even with that, you're like, that is like, I probably wouldn't even get out of bed an hour early if someone offered me 50 bucks and I was a teenager.

And like even when he ups the money.

You're giving Bianca's chat for advice.

What's your daddy are going to college is?

I will actually own this.

But then when he ups the money and in the end, I guess he ends up with probably between three and 500 bucks.

I think it was like 150, was it?

But here's the thing, like, I don't think, I think it's almost, it's still such an awful thing to agree to do to take someone out or make someone believe you're interested in them for money.

And he clearly is supposed to, while he's, you know, while everyone at school thinks he's like this sort of reprehensible bad boy, like he's clearly meant to be someone who's a lot more multifaceted and a really decent human being.

But we never really, I think what the movie is really missing is giving us an explanation as to why he does it.

And obviously like we don't want his sob story or anything, but is there like a throwaway thing about, especially the comparison of Kat being like this kind of college's daughter who wants to go to Sarah Lawrence.

And we've already called out the fact that she's a, you know, a member of the middle class.

And he like is very keen on this money.

Like at least like give us a throwaway line, even when they talk about, you know, his past.

He works two part-time jobs.

Exactly.

Like why money has real value to him to just make it a little less reprehensible that he agrees to the plan in the first place.

He had been spending all summer on his granddad's couch making spaghettios.

Yeah, but he was dying, you know, so like.

Was that an Australian accent there?

I mean, spaghettios is cold, but yes.

You betcha.

Yeah, no, I agree with Sharon at that point.

Yeah, it was fairly kind of barbaric just to agree to that plan.

And it was kind of very fake.

And it was, I guess, sure, I'll do it.

Whatever.

And it's like $50 is not going to.

It's going to barely buy you a Starbucks.

I mean, Grace, I look forward to you defending this choice.

I mean, Taming of the Shrew, it is sticking to the text of, you know, that's what I'll say.

Shakespeare.

One thing in Shakespeare that was to also have been $50 US dollars to take something out of.

It was a dowry.

Also get a Fender guitar at the end.

Yep.

It was a loot.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, no, I agree as well.

I think it's he could have maybe have a tiny bit of a back story, considering we learned so much about, well, actually we actually didn't.

We didn't really learn much about Kat and Bianca and why their mom left and left the pearls.

Just left.

I want to learn all that.

I mean, that's the thing, though, I suppose, like you were saying earlier, in that the film is generally something that could be recast and played today and still work.

But those are probably the two things that stick out in terms of the way they're like tricking them into relationships.

So Kat's being tricked because he's being paid.

He's basically prostituting himself.

Let's put it out there.

Which, you know, that's okay.

If that was his choice, that's fine.

If she was consenting, absolutely fine.

If both of them are consenting and fully informed.

I bet she's unaware.

And likewise, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is pretending to be French and paying somebody else to take somebody out on his behalf.

I think Joey isn't that bad in all this because he's just honest.

He's just the bank roller.

He's just the bank roller being honest, wanting to sleep with all the virgins.

I mean, he's definitely not honest with Bianca, you know, the object of, let's not say, the affections because really all like we're told earlier in the movie, like all he wants to do, like his specialty is wanting to deflower virgins.

Yeah, and that's also why he's so keen on Bianca, you know, as his next victim.

He wants to get as many black panties into Seattle as possible.

Exactly.

Apparently, which is the equivalent of the sock on the door knob.

Which also like you're going to have to cut this out, but can I just say, who the fuck would ever want to do that?

Because what is the upside of that?

Where's the experience?

Oh, is it awful?

No, who would want to do that?

Okay, I thought you meant like, I think you meant black panties, and I was like, what's that?

You would only have sex with a black pantie.

Oh, yes, I want to do is have sex with virgins.

Are you crazy?

It's like a deranged witch that wants to...

But it's not really just like man thing though to like want.

That seems to be like the thing of...

It's like collecting.

It's like a collection.

I wonder whether that's actually true or whether that's just been like a myth perpetuated by culture.

Because every 90s film was all about virginity.

Even though it's all a very Christian thing though.

If you look at like the whole thing about...

The husband stitch.

Yeah, the whole husband stitch in when we're just horrendous.

But I mean, it's all about like men's satisfaction and like, you know, I just think...

Should I ask the gynaecologist?

Probably why he's like, close your legs.

Moving on to some bi-panic energy that I got.

The dialogue, which was remaining quite faithful to some of the Shakespearean quotes and some of them that I particularly liked.

I did critique of how quickly Cameron fell in love with Bianca.

But the way he just said, I burn, I pine, I perish.

Oh, yeah.

I want someone to say that about me.

I think it's a very fine line where if someone says that to you, who you want to say that to you, it is the best thing you've ever heard.

If someone says it to you, who you don't want to say to, it sounds like you have to call the police.

Well, I mean, at this point, it was just a passerby saying it.

So that is quite...

It was a creepy...

Some more things I liked was the mewling, rampalian wretch, which will be added to my repertoire, and unwashed miscreants as well.

Oh, yeah.

I knew.

Yeah, just a real vocab lesson, just to make you feel like above people.

Yeah.

To be fair, the dialogue in the film is fab.

It's fast paced, it's witty.

It's got really strong female characters.

It's got Heath Ledger in a vest.

Many vests.

Oh.

Which is an important part of the dialogue.

And Joey in the vest, in the black or the white.

Which one do we just go?

We shouldn't defend him too much.

No, we shouldn't.

No.

Cat in a vest.

Everyone's in vests.

Cat in a vest.

That outfit is one of those things where I think when I was younger, Julia Stiles wasn't who I wanted.

It's who I wanted to be.

She has this, I think I figured out, whenever I grow my hair out, that is what I'm going for.

Her hair is so-

That mousy ponytail.

And it's so thick and it's wonderful.

And she looks so good in basically no bra and a tank top.

And you're like, why did I never, why could I never pull this off?

She's got the full like 90s, not eating enough model vibes.

Exactly, it's super problematic.

But at the time we were like, heroine chic was in and that is what we were all aiming for.

And it feels like as much as she may be, I mean, we don't want to like start setting rumors around anything about what, you know, people were taking or not doing or not eating enough, whatever, but it feels like it was just natural.

Like that's how she was.

And some people were just blessed with that kind of like vibe and Julia Stiles had it.

Yeah.

You know, but she had it and she rocked it.

And she knew how to throw that thin frame around when she goes table dancing.

Can I just say, I think that is, it's so bizarre because her dancing to hypnotize on that table was absolutely a bi-panic moment for me when I was a kid.

Like it's sexy and it's so fucking awkward.

How did that feel on rewatch?

And it's so white.

I don't know, it feels so like charming and endearing watching it now where you're like, I clearly didn't, I didn't have enough cultural context as a kid to be able to understand that this was bad.

But now it's just like, this is just delightful in every way.

Yeah.

I think the one thing about Kat though as well is that she does not, she kind of knows it and doesn't care.

Exactly.

What's that line she says about, I just decided not to worry about what people think about me.

Or she's talking to Bianca later on, isn't she?

I just decided to stop doing things because other people expected them of me.

Yeah.

And that vibe that she carries the whole way through is that it is that like, oh God, like you were saying, the bi-panic of like, do I want her or do I want to be her?

And she carries that with that just effortless self-confidence.

How lucky to get that so young as well.

I think it came from deep trauma, didn't it though?

It did, unfortunately.

Yeah.

But ultimately like her, and I think Heath Ledger has the same thing in it, his character, it's just that they're like, they are the kind of, they're very tame, bad guys, but they're like the edgy, the very middle class bad guys.

I mean, the peak, the perfection of, if you wanted to say to somebody, what type of character is she, you could just have the still of her sitting on the sofa, or reading The Bell Jar by Silver Black.

And that's all you need to know about the character.

Incredible.

Yeah, encapsulates her character very well.

Yeah, go white girl when she becomes slicker than your average.

Look at what I'm doing.

And gets concussed off a very expensive lampshade, and is caught by Heath Ledger in a gorgeously decorated kitchen, which I would have loved to have seen more of during Bogey Lohenstein's party.

Bogey Lohenstein.

Oh no, it must be Nigel.

Nigel with the Brie.

One of the best lines ever committed to film.

Absolutely.

I think that's going to go.

I mean, I forgot about it until we watched it recently.

And I absolutely wet my I just think about it anytime a doorbell goes.

Is it Nigel with the Brie?

We should really reprogram all our Ring doorbells.

That must be Nigel with the Brie.

Are you Nigel?

Petition to change that.

Anyone who's listening from the company Ring, because I'm sure we have that wide listening base.

You know how you do Halloween and Christmas themed ones?

Please can you do 10 Things I Hate About You and just add that in one more time.

And also become a sponsor, please.

And sponsor it.

This podcast comes to you from Ring doorbell.

Ring doorbell, you can customise your things to say, that must be Nigel with the Brie.

We're not actually sponsored by Ring yet.

We are not affiliated at all with Ring.

And if Ring don't like us, we don't like them.

But we are willing to be paid to like Ring.

I'm just gonna say Ring one more time.

In line with our last episode, which was sponsored by Holes.

Masterpiece.

So anyway, so basically the thing is that Heath Ledger then starts taking Kat out, who in the beginning has no interest, but he kind of wins her around just by being very charming and sort of like, again, similar to her, like doesn't give a shit about what anyone else thinks.

And I think that's sort of what wins her over.

And meanwhile, Bianca kind of tries to stay Joey, sort of figures out that he's a scumbag and then kind of gets involved more with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and meanwhile, Cat does start to lower her guard and actually really kind of opens up to making a connection with Heath Ledger, which includes, by the way, her going into his classroom and distracting his teacher so he can sneak out.

By exposing herself to the teacher in front of an entire class.

And they actually state earlier on, and I wonder whether this is connected, that she is 18 years old.

But at the same time, I'm like, what are the ramifications of you exposing yourself to an authority figure when you're 18 years old?

Like, surely you still get kicked out of school.

She's expecting to graduate and go to an East Coast school.

Exactly.

Good luck getting into Sarah Lawrence after that.

But so she basically nicks them out so that they can go and have a truly iconic, not paintball, paintballoon.

Which is so much softer.

I was like, that's what I would go do.

You know, I would be up for that.

Yeah, we said we would do it.

We were talking about the hen party and we were like, we can't do paintballing because it just looks too scary and dangerous and painful.

Paintballooning.

Paintballooning.

And then followed by a literal roll in the hay covered in paintballing.

That was a sexual awakening for an entire generation.

The way he threw her onto that hay, I just wanted to be like the reverse girl from the ring and go into the TV.

You shouldn't make that me.

Or later when she's still covered in paint, when he brushes the hair behind her ear and then kisses her, and you're like...

It's that classic night.

It was those moments where...

Yeah, the hair behind the ear.

I mean, you could tell that Heath Ledger knew what he was doing.

Yeah.

But there's something about the fact that they're covered in paint as well, which makes it somehow a little bit sexier.

It's like, oh yeah.

Absolutely.

And the music as well was fantastic.

Yeah.

Special shout out for the soundtrack.

It's probably one of the best soundtracks we've had, I think.

Starting with the introduction of Julia Stiles' character, Kat, which I don't give a damn about my bad reputation.

Gay.

Blaring it.

Windows down.

She wants people to know.

Yeah.

I mean, it truly is insane.

It's going to sound so bizarre, but you know that scene, so Joseph Gordon-Levitt and David Crumholds, basically in order to make everyone go to this party so they can spend time with Bianca, they make up flyers to go to Bogey's party and they throw them through the stairwell and they fall in slow motion while a sexy boy is playing.

I was like, why is this so sexual?

It is so sexy.

I was like, this is sexy.

Do you think Mean Girls took that?

100%.

Yeah, Mean Girls had some great stuff, didn't they?

Like the bernbuck stuff comes from that.

Yeah, the janiss showing them around the tables and stuff.

There's so much taken from.

There's an incredible amount of overlay.

But I think it's just because those things are so effective and work so well and probably a lot of them are rooted in so much reality that you're like, yeah, just reuse that because we're all going to be able to identify with that.

And still stands.

Absolutely.

But that spiral staircase scene and that song.

I don't know why all these are inanimate objects.

You don't see any people in that scene.

It's just all the leaflets coming down.

And it's weirdly unnecessary for all of them.

People go listen to the soundtrack of 10 Things I Hate About You.

Absolutely.

It will be an awakening.

Because the weather has been so hot this week where we are, having that song on as well, it was just hot.

It was literally, figuratively awful.

Yeah, humid.

It was.

Do not touch me.

So then basically, obviously, as all these things have to happen, the truth has to come out eventually.

And when Kat is just falling in love with Heath Ledger, she figures out that he basically did it for the money.

Obviously, at that point, he no longer did it for the money, but she's really, really hurt and feels betrayed.

And can I just ask a quick question about this?

Because she finds out about this, and at this point, Bianca and Joseph Gordon-Levitt have actually gotten together.

And she clearly now has quite a good relationship with her sister, which made me think that they have not told her that Joseph Gordon-Levitt was behind the whole thing in the first place, and Bianca fucking knew about it.

They clearly haven't told Kat that.

I think I'd be more annoyed if I said that.

That betrayal is way worse.

And I was just like, no, we're just breezing right past that.

Although I think we're learning that Bianca's a little bit like, oh, my life, I want to do this.

And she wants Kat to go to the fucking prom, so she can go to the prom.

So she's like, I'll keep this secret and I will wait until prom night.

She's a teenager.

She is.

My favourite moment of Bianca is when she's doing an archery lesson.

Oh, yeah.

Most of the school scenes are on the football field, where they have different activities and they're doing archery.

And there's some of the manipulation is happening and she gets distracted and just shoots her teacher and is unbothered and nothing happens.

She's a true bicon.

She's just flying around the background going, oh dear.

But one thing I like to notice about this school, no one comes running when this teacher gets shot.

The second Heath Ledger starts singing on stairs, campus security are just all over him.

Yeah, High School Musical would not have lived there.

Stay tuned for that.

The other quote I wanted to say in the movie was Gary Union and Bianca talking.

Is this I Love My Sketches?

Our second other quote.

I know you can be underwhelmed, I know you can be overwhelmed.

Can you ever just be whelmed?

I think you can in Europe.

You can in fact just be whelmed.

Yes, it's more of an Icaic old English term, but it means just to be submerged.

Wow.

I feel whelmed all the time, I'm overwhelmed.

I need aqua.

I need aqua.

God, I do wonder about that choice.

They could have just made us say water.

What's wrong with that?

Maybe it was a creative direction.

Maybe she was improvising.

She's very dramatic, isn't she?

But the other quote that comes from Bianca, and what is her chastity, chastity, classic?

The whole thing about the movie.

Which I think is a very bi comment, because Bianca's like, I like my sketchers, but I love my Prada backpack.

And then Gabrielle Union is like, but I love my sketches.

And she's like, that's because you don't have a Prada backpack.

And it's just like-

Oh, you're right.

And you know what?

It makes complete sense.

Exactly.

Just rubs it in.

But also, I think that's the bi experience, because people will be like, well, I love men.

And it's like, yeah, it's because you haven't tried women.

You haven't dipped a toe elsewhere.

And then you like men and you love women.

Dipped a toe, dipped a finger, whatever's necessary.

Do you know what I'm learning editing these podcasts is?

How Charlotte is the one to go to for the really filthy comments.

I'm happy to be able to say this.

Smut.

I'm trying to remember what the one in the last one was.

Oh, the last one, actually, we're talking about the river, Swimming in the River of Ham.

Which I actually really enjoyed listening to because we go on and on about that for quite a while.

Weirdly, that is the one thing that I'm trying to make not dirty.

I don't think it's dirty, but I think everything else, we do it for you.

It's fine.

I'm trying to think of, yeah, anyway, I digress.

To add to The Bi-Panic, Gabrielle Union is an absolute smoke show.

Any age.

And I believe she could still play that character today.

Because she looks incredible, just the same.

Yeah, we googled this because we thought we were like, everybody else seems so much older now, but she looks the same.

And we just double checked.

And she's actually 10 years older than most of the cast.

Which you literally cannot tell.

Looks the same age as she was.

It's ridiculous.

The rose-tinted sunglasses she wears in one scene.

And she just looks incredible.

Wasted.

Wasted.

I mean, I would have liked more of her in the film.

Her and Allison Janney, I want.

Oh my god.

I do almost feel with Chastity that there's probably a cut of this movie where she was in it a lot more and they just couldn't, you know, just the time they had to cut out a lot of stuff because otherwise, why is she in it in the first place?

Because the way she's in it now, it's almost like we don't really need it.

So it does make me think that she maybe had a larger role.

They need to keep the screen time for the very slo-mo sheets going over the budget.

20 minutes of paper.

It was the right decision.

Yes, it was very sexy.

The helicopter shot at the end of the band.

I can't wait till we do the credits.

Lose the budget.

Let's move towards the end.

So obviously we need a happy ending to this, which Bianca and Joseph Gordon-Levitt at the end are obviously together.

Going boating.

As you do.

To be fair, it is Seattle.

So I think that is literally what you do if you're a white middle-classer.

Can we also just put in the whole timeline of this whole thing.

So all this drama happened.

It was 24 hours into the next day and everything was just, oh yeah.

Did it transpire over a week?

Because when they're boating, when he says they're going boating, he's like, they make a comment and it seems like it's like a week or months later.

It seems like it's summertime or whatever.

And she says, oh, you're OK after last night.

And we're like, I literally thought the same thing.

I was like, why don't we give them like a week?

Give them a week.

It was very dramatic as well.

Like that drawn out shot of the music playing and she's there just.

And she's sitting there drawing an eye, which honestly I felt was the most accurate thing because that's what we all did when we fancied ourselves artists as teenagers.

Oh my, with a little tear building up.

I'm so individual.

Photograph at the Tumblr.

Yes.

She would have been active on Tumblr.

Can you imagine her comments though?

Oh, she'll be saying, I'm going to Sarah Lawrence because I'm a writer.

Speaking of, because then obviously the climax of this film is that one of the assignments they had in English class was to write a poem or a sonnet like Shakespeare.

And she obviously is the first one to raise her hand to go to read it out loud.

Does it need to be in iambic pentameter?

Are you talking to me?

She's so pretentious.

I would have pushed her off her chair.

Everyone would have pushed her off.

Down that hill in the first scene where he goes down on the hill.

I think Julia Stiles is lucky she did not end up at the end of that hill.

And so she stands up at the front of the class and she reads her poem.

Honestly, I genuinely think in a performance that is incredible.

And also I read that it wasn't even written in the script that she has to cry.

She just did that.

And that is one take.

The first take is all they shot.

She makes a mistake and I love that she makes a mistake in it because she starts to read the wrong line and she corrects herself and then carries on and then goes for it like that.

And it's just like...

Wait, that was one take.

Insane.

And so she basically reads this poem that she wrote about Heath Ledger who is now conveniently also in the class.

And she has a complete breakdown as she reads the poem, but basically says that she really wants to hate him for what he's done to her, but she is in love with him and she kind of hates herself for it.

And girl, it is bad writing.

I hope you're not going for a creative writing degree at Sarah Lawrence because that is shit.

If she submits that for her assignments at university, she's nice fine.

10 Things I Hate About You.

I hate the way I don't hate you at all.

Not even a little bit.

Not even at all.

But we also love her for it and also, there's a lot of vulnerability with sharing your writing.

So, you know, good for her.

Admittedly, too much vulnerability.

Half the class didn't even do that assignment.

This is true.

Half the class checked.

It's giving up middle class confidence in her own skills.

I'm going to an East Coast school.

Daddy paid the check.

And then she obviously runs out.

She says, I feel creating a podcast.

How dare?

Don't call us out like that.

We're working on the land.

Look at these hands.

It's the hands of the killer, Bella.

I don't know why I did that in English, actually.

So, yes, so and she runs out in Seattle.

Sorry, just pointing out how fucking rainy Twilight is set in the same place.

Seattle, for some reason, is the sunniest place on earth.

It looks like the Middle East.

I just can't believe it was the same place that they filmed The Killing, which was the mistiest, grayest series ever.

Not even one bit of sunshine in that.

Sorry, love.

Sorry.

So she runs out of the classroom and Heath Ledger is obviously in love with her and he has to figure out a way to redeem himself.

And so what he does is, Kat's obviously really into music.

We do see her fondling a Fender guitar earlier on in the film.

And what he does with...

Not Katie Lang.

She's not Katie Lang.

Exactly, but not a fan of Katie Lang.

So what he does with all the money that he got from Joey is buy her the guitar and put it in her car.

And she's like, obviously won over by this.

Charlotte, was that in I Am Bait Pentamica?

I tried really hard.

So yes, I hope so.

And so obviously, she kind of sort of forgives him and he is charming and roguish.

And so they kiss and everybody's happy.

And the band just appear.

Exactly.

And then the letters to Cleo are just randomly performing on the top of the school and we get a nice heli shot of it with, you know, which costs a huge amount of money.

And they milk that because he goes around and around, he goes back and forward, he slides out, he slides in.

Like they were like, we got one shot and we are going to get our money's worth.

Which is another like, I think this is a really common theme for all of our Bi-Panic films is the amount of money that's put into fucking credits.

The opening credits, chaotic as well with all like the scratchy animation.

I could have just had text.

It's just peak 90s as well.

I really love this commitment to nice credits.

We've moved past it and it's a real shame.

It's really something that comes to our appreciation as well.

I think a good song sets up the movie to us straight away.

This is going to be good.

And one thing that I love that is just missing from all films nowadays, fucking bloopers.

Oh my God.

I love that.

It's so gorgeous seeing the bloopers.

Like the end credits move on and we see bloopers.

And I think what you can really tell, and I read this, that like David Cromartz talks about making the film and how everyone really liked each other.

And they just had the greatest time filming.

And I think when you see the bloopers, you can absolutely tell that the vibe is just, we had a fucking great time making this.

And it kind of got the vibe that Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles were secretly hot for each other.

There's no way that wasn't the case.

I would love to hear that backstory.

Cause they were like a hundred percent, oh, let's joke about going to the back of the car together.

They definitely, they both wore black panties.

Both, yeah.

And I'm here for them.

He wore hats.

Well, you probably did.

Both had their hair tied up.

It was great.

I've got to say, the way that they're having a bit of a romantic moment.

And he just says to her, you never disappointed me.

The romance that just comes out of this bad boy is just, should be appreciated more.

And when you do find out his harrowing backstory of sitting on his granddad's couch, eating spaghettios, because he was sick, he took a year off school.

He sacrificed his education.

Did he die?

We never actually found out.

Full recovery from the spaghettios, yes.

Free from his cold.

Need to take her 16 year old out of school for that.

But that's enough to hear that he's a soft man in all the best ways.

Oh, Heath.

That is around a similar scene where one of my favourite bits of conversation between Heath and Julia, also known as Kat and Patrick, when they're just swapping rumours about each other and saying, did this happen to you?

Did this really happen to you?

And they're like, yeah, that one did.

I did kick that guy in the balls.

Oh, no, I was never a porn star.

I just thought it was quite a charming little interaction between the two of them.

Yeah.

So all in all, I think 10 out of 10, absolutely a Bi-Panic Room movie for all of us.

It's just delivering on all fronts.

Well, gun to your head.

What's the scene that does it for you?

Okay.

Two contenders.

Either Julia Stiles dancing to Notorious BIG on the table.

That's also a close one for me.

Or the leaflets falling in the stairwell.

I could have sex with that just in the background.

I mean, that music is insane.

It's got to be the paint balloons for me.

The paint balloons.

Excellent choice.

I love a boiler suit.

I think mine is, so I think it's Bianca going to prom, because I think she's very attractive in it.

But also when she's in her cute little outfit.

When she's wearing the pregnancy badge, she is so funny.

I said top moment of the film.

I thought it was one of the funniest moments of the film.

It is so hilarious.

Who not of your sister?

Then she takes it off.

Then probably another moment for me was when, I thought it was quite funny, but also quite hot, was when obviously they all went off to prom, and the music was playing, I was having a good time, and the next thing, Joey comes to get Bianca, and the father is just like, a bye, and he's like, this is not good.

Then Joey is just there in his white.

Again, I don't know if I wanted that outfit, or if I wanted to be with it.

That white tux jacket over, it was just rich bad boy vibe, and just the hair, and just yeah, he was just doing it for you.

That was one of my moments, I think.

Nice.

And the paintball, and I think the leaf had seen.

Harry?

Well, I want to bring it up again, the leaflets.

I'm so glad you agree, because I wrote that down in my notes, and I was like, I'm going to get so much shit for this, but I was like, it is so good.

I think we all have it as one of our moments.

Oh, 100%.

Oh, yeah, it's excellent.

It's most of the song, it's the speed, and it's just the unnecessary joy of it.

I don't know, it's just amazing.

It's kind of like the conniving manner is done as well, it's like, oh, we're going to.

100% of like villainy sort of behind it, but in like a fun way.

A special shout out as well for a character we've not mentioned yet.

It's Kat's friend who is obsessed with Shakespeare.

My god, she was a bit of Bi-Panic, I'm not gonna lie.

She's giving Dakota Johnson vibes.

She's A, stunning.

That's a good shout.

I just really enjoy how much she loves William.

Yeah, I mean, look, does she take it too far by saying we're involved?

We're involved.

It does remind me of the woman who married the Eiffel Tower.

It is giving that energy for sure.

She was actually gorgeous as well.

I think her and Julia Stiles, I think, has missed opportunity.

Oh, I mean, they've practiced kissing for sure.

Don't you worry about it.

They need Agua.

Julia Stiles has worn the ruffle neck and recited some of her amazing poetry to this gal.

Just purely out of curiosity, Tessa, did you prefer Joey in the white shirt or the black shirt?

I was literally thinking about it while they were talking.

When I was younger, I remember thinking I actually could not make a decision.

Did you pause it?

Yeah, I actually did.

I was like, I can think again.

They do actually give very different vibes.

Yeah, they really do.

I think black.

But then I'm also like, white.

I don't know.

I think it's the bi in me now.

You can answer them both.

You can answer them both.

Choose them both.

One quote from it.

She's talking about the backstory with Joey and she just says, in nights for a month.

Yes.

I just want to start saying that all the time.

We gave in.

Whatever it might mean, but you know, that's just what you say now.

That's also the same sentence we find out that Julia Stiles has actually slept with Joey is the same sentence we also find out that their mother is not in fact dead.

Yes, she just left.

Because she's like, in ninth for a month, mama just left.

And it's like, what happened?

To the heavy side layer.

What's all this drama about taking the person?

She just left.

If she died, you can kind of get away.

Exactly.

That's the thing, isn't it?

That's what you looked at.

I looked in ninth for a month.

Did the dad kill her?

Like, this is the, this is the sequel.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna side with the dad now.

He's trying his best.

That man bring, like, brings life into the world every day.

He did not kill the mother.

He was a bit unhinged, though.

A hundred percent, but, okay, here's the thing.

Maybe he's unhinged because his wife and the mother of his children left him.

Maybe it's like that all the time.

And now he's just clinging to them.

Did she leave or was she left?

I wish she had pushed down the staircase.

Was it an owl?

Did the owl come in?

And was that why he pushed her down the stairs?

How can he afford that giant house with the hot tub on the roof with two young teenagers?

Perilous hot tub.

I would snap an ankle every time I go on land terraced.

Worth the risk.

The view.

The view is fucking fat.

Yeah, gynecologist.

Get free checkups and everything.

I wasn't sure where you were going with Brie there.

Great film.

That was a missed opportunity really there.

That's an incredible film.

The soundtrack, the cast.

The real estate.

The nineties vibe.

Even the school was fab.

The school, it looked like some old manor house.

It's fantastic.

Yeah, we're all here for it.

Absolutely 100% and its place in The Panic Room.

The Bi-Panic Room.

What should I say?

Give her the shark.

Give her the shark.

On to our next section of Our Bi-Panic Energy of the Week, which is basically a moment that all made us just stop and question or make us feel good or bad about ourselves.

So I'm going to start off with my one, I think, and I'm going to talk about the weather.

So anyone who has been in the UK heat wave in August will feel our pain.

And I think anyone who's in a hot, humid climate will also feel our pain.

You know, you just don't know what the day is going to bring.

Is it going to be hot, cold, sweaty, what to wear?

You know, I'm not happy either way.

And it's just, it's been very uncomfortable.

Yes, that it's been glorious.

It's dangerous.

So, yeah, it's been.

Well, we've been waiting for this moment for months.

And now that it's here, we don't want to.

I don't want to.

No, it's so uncomfortable.

So a lot of cold showers.

So, yeah.

Our houses are just not meant for hot weather.

No.

My house has become an easy bake oven.

My hair is not meant for it either.

So, yeah, I think that was my BP of the week.

Solid choice.

So, I think Harry next.

My bi-panic energy has come from the Olympics.

Yes, obviously.

And I've been watching it pretty much religiously day in, day out.

Notable moments being the gymnastics.

Pummel horse.

The, I will start with him, the Clark Kent of the pummel horse, who I've just read about so much.

He's wonderful.

He actually cannot see without his glasses and he just goes by feel.

So, he knows his way round a pummel horse.

And you know what they call me?

A pummel horse.

They, you know, once or twice.

They, then?

Pummel Harry.

Pummel Harry.

Pummel Harry.

So, Major BPE from the Clark Kent of the Pummel Horse.

Very, very sweet guy.

He's always interviewed about how much he loves his girlfriend and how he's all like...

I learned it.

I know.

I learned too much.

It was horrible.

Also love the pettiness of Simone Biles' Instagram post saying that the women, the women's team that won for the US would just team as a lack of talent, lazy Olympic champions.

And it's that kind of pettiness that I just love.

And thrive off of.

So yes, that has been my bi-panic energy.

There's also been a late contender.

Just as I was about to leave, I found the silver medalist for the shooting, who is a Korean called Kim Yeji.

And she is outstanding.

She is the coolest cucumber in all of the Olympics.

I will just reveal a photo of her holding a gun, which not normally does it for me, but look how cool she is.

The way she has that little monocle to look for her shooting.

Yeah.

The crowds have gone wild for her.

I'm sorry, but the little eye...

It's in the bi colours.

It is.

She's got the bi flag covering her left eye so that she can focus on shooting.

She really does.

Look, Tessa, one for you to look at.

Yeah, I have seen this.

Yeah, that stance is so bi.

So bi, the way she's just wearing a backwards cap.

It's almost like she's holding her crotch, but she obviously isn't.

She's just, you know.

She's just screaming bi-panic energy for me.

I also find it quite ironic.

I know this is a very obvious comment everyone's making about the shooting, but how bad the American service is.

Everyone else is like, it ain't working, guys.

Did you see the Turkish guy as well, who got silver?

Oh, who just rocked in.

Yeah, everybody else has this amazing, like that girl there has all the kit, has eye guards, has a way to focus their eyes, has all this.

He is literally in a t-shirt with his glasses on and a gun, and that's it.

And he's just like one handed and he got silver.

The purest.

Yeah.

And he just said, I'm just natural.

And that was his response.

That's not unnerving at all.

Yeah, I mean, true.

But Turkey's now on my no-fly zone.

Yeah, maybe that's why I called her.

Is it my turn?

My BP of the week is the Vagina Museum, which is obviously located in Hackney, East London, where else, under a train track.

It's a fabulous space, really queer, really inclusive.

It's got some lovely exhibitions about sexuality and gender, period poverty, everything around those sort of things.

Really lovely space.

There were loads of like Gen Z kids there.

And then there was one middle-aged couple, which did include what I think was a heterosexual man.

And I almost wanted to go and shake his hand because I was like, good on you for going and engaging with this sort of stuff.

And just a fabulous, really inclusive space.

And so, yeah, absolutely.

Was it by any chance curated by Kat Stratford?

Do you know what?

I mean, it really could have.

It was actually partly supported by Hannah Witten.

I don't know if you know who that is.

She's like a YouTuber who does a lot of sex education online for kids.

And yeah, so yeah, really, really good.

Did she go to Sarah Lawrence?

Do you know what?

She probably did.

I did.

I did tell my friend a vagina poem.

I told my parents I'd gone to the vagina museum.

And my mum was like, oh, so was the penis museum right next door.

And I was like, isn't every museum a penis museum?

Oh, I was very pleased with myself.

I was shutting it down.

Charlotte, can I also just for the tape, ask what that sounds like in German?

Well, she asked, I said it in English and she said it in English.

But what would the which the vagina museum or the penis museum?

Both.

Okay, a vagina museum.

You would probably say Vagina Museum.

Well, that wins.

And penis museum would just be penis museum.

Oh, okay.

So I'm sorry, that is a massive letdown.

Like most.

Foiled again.

Well, you hope it was going to be called like Schlarg Museum.

I was thinking quivering bratwurst.

Oh, man, I should have said that.

Missed opportunity.

All right, Grace, do you want to close us out?

Charlotte, yours was so much more poignant.

I was like, mine's a Korean girl with a gun.

Mine is the weather.

Mine's a picture.

Tell us more.

Mine's a picture of the acolyte.

I don't know if that's, I haven't watched it.

I love how you picked this, but you literally never watched it.

I refused to watch it because you guys told me it sucked.

But have you seen the cast?

I mean, that picture alone of the cast together is complete bi-panic.

Who's in the cast?

Oh, my God, who's not in the cast?

It's the weirdest, most eclectic list, like mix of people from amazing shows and TV.

It's like Carrie-Anne Moss, Manny Jacinto, who really is like the main person in it.

Amanda Stenberg, they're in it.

They are beautiful in it.

So, yeah.

And also The Random Girl from Appropriate Behaviour, one of the most iconic, bi-conic films.

So, The Bi-Panic of the Week was just that picture of the phenomenally hot cast.

And I know that's a quite a, this is quite a very materialistic.

Look, let's be honest, we are a podcast of the gutter.

And we have to return there every once in a while.

And sometimes we just show you that every week.

I would just encourage anybody who doesn't know what I'm talking about to just Google the acolytes press, you know, like the premiere picture, whatever it is they were together for, press day, I don't know.

But the outfits they were wearing, they are all absolutely fucking stunning.

And then once you've done that, just Google Mannequist Inter as well.

You're in for a real treat.

In every way.

Yeah.

Anyway, that's my one.

It's not very thoughtful.

It follows the Vagina Museum.

And well done.

Thank you.

Flawless.

I am bilingual with The Bi.

Now available in Germany, this podcast.

Yeah.

Charlotte dubs us all over.

With all of my opinions.

Heath loves it.

Charlotte, how do you say moist in German?

Oh, um, feucht.

Oh, it's just as bad.

I was just about to say something really dumb.

Say it, Harry.

What do you say aqua in German?

Aqua.

We have fun, don't we?

We do.

It's the heat.

It's the weather.

It's so hot.

Yeah, we all have heat delirium.

This is a low-Bi-Q podcast.

Right, moving on, we're going on to the next part of the podcast, which is The Wild Card Choice.

So it's basically our next section that discusses a movie that someone has chosen, and it isn't after making our original cut.

So it's up to then the person to defend it.

So we're going to move over to Grace, who's going to try and defend her film, which is a peculiar choice.

It is not, I'm sorry, it's not a peculiar choice.

And I will be-

Here we go.

Yep.

Bye.

Okay, so my-

Yeah, with a big Y.

My-

Figure to the L.

Can we just remind ourselves that Tessa brought Mrs.

fucking Doubtfire to the table, rather than-

The hypocrisy.

Mrs.

Doubtfire to the table.

So can we at least hear me out?

Take the floor.

I will.

So my pick is, I can't remember what year it was released.

I want to say 2003 or 2006.

I don't know why.

Those are my choices.

And I will hear no other argument.

It was one of those two years.

And it is the film She's the Man, starring Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum.

Amanda Bynes.

Amanda Bynes.

Amanda.

This is giving that Friends episode where Rachel gets confused about who Chandler's mother is.

It was literally that quote.

And anyway, this film is just like our absolutely 100% In the Panic Room, By Panic Room film, 10 Things I Hate About You.

This film is also based on a Shakespeare play at Twelfth Night.

Cue Culture.

Cue Culture.

Exactly.

Podcast of the gutter, absolutely not.

I rescind what I said earlier.

Thank you.

Shakespeare would be rolling in his grave.

Anyway.

He died.

No, he's married to that girl from 10 Things I Hate About You.

Why would the rumor that it's Anne Hathaway is-

Is the reincarnation of Anne Hathaway.

And her husband is actually Will Shakespeare.

Oh yeah.

This is the conspiracy theory that she would agree to be famous in the next life and he would be the supportive partner.

Yeah.

It's my favorite conspiracy development.

I love it.

Love through the ages.

Love through the ages, just like our iconic film The Mummy.

But anyway, speaking of great iconic bi-iconic films, she's the man.

So in She's the Man, it is a 12th night, but in a modern-day setting, which is where Amanda Bynes' character wants to play college soccer, football as we know it's actually called, and okay, football.

The girls team is cut because obviously, we live in the world we live in.

She decides to go to her brother's school.

They are twins, but for some reason, they are identical if they both have matching haircuts.

She decides to go undercover as her brother to his school, so that she can join the men's team and basically play soccer.

A little preface to that.

The whole film starts off with a classic early noughties, like you said, graphics, music.

It's No Sleep Tonight by whatever the film, that random band is, The Faders, I want to say.

Anyway, so the film opens with that.

They're playing a game of soccer, which peak by panic, it's women playing football.

So, you know, that's an instant in, in my respect.

And Amanda Bynes' character is dating this guy who's the goalkeeper for the men's team.

And basically when her team is cut, he doesn't stand up for her.

She dumps him and she's like, he's like end of discussion and she's like end of relationship because she's a strong independent woman who plays fucking football.

So anyway, she being based on Viola from 12th Night, and her brother Sebastian, based on Sebastian from 12th Night.

He's off to London because these kids are also very rich and at school, to play with his band and pursue his music.

And because their parents divorced, she can pretend to be the parents house and vice versa.

So she goes in his place to his school that he's starting because he was kicked out.

And dress is a man.

It's the quickest plot decision ever.

We're like 11 minutes in and she's a man.

And she's like, I've got my wig and I was like, okay.

Exactly.

And it's very, there's actually like, can we just say there's echoes of Mrs.

Doubtfire in there.

That she has the very gay coded friend, like he's clearly like her gay best friend, who just like his gay brother in Mrs.

Doubtfire does the transformation for her.

So you're saying big carpe Mrs.

Doubtfire.

There were elements selected, but actually let's remember this was a Shakespeare original and Shakespeare did cross pressing the best.

Anyway, so she becomes Sebastian, goes to school and bumps into the absolute hunk of meat, Duke Orsino played by a young Channing Tatum.

So yeah, she walks through and you know we're talking montages, she's walking through and she's just fit in these halls filled with boys because she dresses as a boy.

She's a badass hunky dude and she's kind of talking to us that she looks nothing like a fucking man whatsoever.

If anything, I mean, maybe like Justin Bieber.

They chose the least androgynous actress to be.

I don't know if I agree because I do think she's got like a roundness to her face that makes me believe it more than for example, because I was thinking about this, like what if Lindsay Lohan had played this part?

That's someone I would not have bought because I think she has more like feminine features almost.

I do think Amanda Bynes has like a roundness there where you're like, in theory, you could make that work.

I just don't think they made it work very well.

It does make her look about 12 compared to all the older guys.

The fact that we're meant to believe that Olivia would have the hots for Amanda Bynes as Sebastian is absolutely ridiculous.

I mean, I'll come on to this.

I think that's a big bit of the bi-energy is the fact that she is falling for this.

And it's like, if she's falling for Amanda Bynes dressed like that, then there's hope for us all.

So basically, we meet G.

Corsino, who is Channing Tatum.

You meet him topless for a start, which as a young person watching this film, is quite by panic.

And the room with like three hunky guys.

You guys are really unnervingly quiet and it's really creeping me out.

Anyway, and you know, Amanda Bynes' character is trying to go in there, and be all kind of like boyish.

And it's just absolutely backfiring.

And it's really kind of endearing and fun and kind of like a way of like, like with the tampons and things like that, like the way the boys are interacting with the feminine things is kind of sweet.

Anyway, we find out that Duke Corsino, played by Channing Tatum, is in love with this, like the hot girl of the school called Viola.

No, Olivia.

Who we can all get on board with.

Who we can all get on board with.

Which is really strange because not well, personally for me, not usually my type, but I think as a young teenager, I was like, she's ridiculously hot.

She is ridiculously beautiful.

She's ridiculously beautiful.

And just comes across as just like, she's not the mean girl.

She's not the bitch.

She just comes across as like, just really gentle.

Like a nice gal.

Like a nice gal.

Like a lovely-

Really raised well.

Really raised well.

Exactly.

A classy debutante.

Yeah.

And she doesn't fall.

She doesn't look at Channing Tatum and go, oh yeah, hot hunk of meat.

She's like, oh God, boys are so stupid.

She's like mature and above all that high school drama.

Kind of similar to Julia Stiles a bit.

Yeah.

She's not surrounded by like, she's not Queen Bee surrounded by like drones.

She's got this one cool best friend.

And she just has a thing for Sebastian for some reason.

I'm sorry.

I'm trying to remember their first meeting, which is, yeah, it's a meat cue of like, they bump into each other and, and Olivia is like, oh, who's this gentle soul who looks a bit like Jimmy Cranky in front of me?

And is, and it's like, for some reason, I think it's just the lustful looks that Olivia gives.

And you're kind of like, oh my God, like she's giving that to it.

The camera does focus on her a bit because she's just like looking at her.

So photogenic.

You're like, just keep the camera on her.

And I think we'll go back to Sebastian.

Yeah, no offence to Amanda Bynes.

And then there's, so we find out that Duke obviously really likes her and they get partnered together.

And there's a scene where, yeah, she's, she's reading like lyrics of Sebastian's and she is clearly like falling hook, line, and sinker.

She wants a deep guy.

Yeah, a deep guy.

She wants someone different.

But I think the biggest bi-panic energy thing of this is that we know it's a girl and there's this like secret, like enjoyment.

I think when you're having this bi-panic of like, this is a girl connecting with, the hot girl could be gay.

And is it like, don't go out with these dumb boys, just go out with me.

Yeah, well that's who she's falling for.

At the end of the day, she's falling for Amanda Bynes' character.

She's not falling for Sebastian and his lyrics.

She's falling for Amanda Bynes.

Which I think was a lot of people's fantasies growing up when they were like, if you had certain crushes on people and they would have boyfriends, because obviously you were very young and like when I grew up, no one, like only being straight was your option.

So yeah, so but I wonder, is that a bit of an identification from the movie as well?

Yeah, and I think there's also the element of, you know, when you are, there's a lot of the, there's a lot of crossover, isn't there, between when you are realising you're gay or bi or whatever.

It's that crossover with like attraction to masculine things, feminine things.

And it's the fact that like this is, she's got the feminine internally, she's got this feminine, like she's a girl, she's only dressing, she's only literally putting on the shell of a man because she has to, because she wants to play, do something that is traditionally male.

And it's that thing of like, she gets to kind of enjoy that kind of male side of things, but she's still her inside.

And it's that kind of like duality, I think that's really important there.

Speaking of the shell she puts on, I was honestly so disappointed that she puts on a wig when she's Sebastian, instead of just getting the haircut, like just commit to this and then later on, style it into a cute pixie cut, like DreamWorks were fucking cowards for not having Amanda cut her hair off.

I mean, I get why Nasty Portman did it for Vendetta, but I don't know that this was quite the caliber of film.

I wanted to see a real commitment from Amanda.

Yeah, it was not in her contract.

She keeps it for her other Nickelodeon things.

Yeah, tragic.

But basically it does, if you have seen or read or whatever studied Twelfth Night, it mirrors the plot, generally speaking.

I really like how you really try to emphasize the Shakespeare aspect of it all.

Like that's gonna make it easier for this to just slip into the Bi-Panic Room.

Girls can't be boys, this isn't easy as that.

Direct quote from Twelfth Night.

As a theme of having two Shakespeare adaptations, putting them side to side really does put a bit of comparison to the way that 10 Things I Hate About You channeled Shakespeare more than She's the Man did.

Did you guys, in terms of Bi-Panic moments, you know the section where she goes into the debutante like thing?

So Amanda Bynes for the first time, or second time, meets Olivia, but as Amanda Bynes.

So she meets her as Viola.

And it's when she discovers that, like she talks to, cause she's a little bit jealous, because at this point, Viola starts to like Duke, and is kind of falling for him.

And so she kind of starts to dislike Olivia, cause she's like, again, I like anything.

They're both after the same man.

A bit mean girl of Amanda Bynes' character.

But then she goes in and she starts sort of saying to her, so you like Duke, eh?

And she's like, oh no, I really like Sebastian.

He's such a, and you see that kind of, that-

There was that smile.

There's that little thing, she gets that kind of, oh, she gets really, like a little bit flustered, a little bit flattered.

Do you think she does that though?

Because it's actually like, oh my God, yes, Duke is mine.

No, cause she starts to talk about the way Sebastian is, and she starts to say, oh, you know, he's this, and he's got this really cute smile on it, and it's just infectious.

And Amanda Bynes catches herself.

She stops herself from smiling because she's worried she's going to get found out.

And it's that weird thing that I think when we all watched, well, I found this when I was watching it, I was like, if that was you, you'd be like having this absolute bi-panic inside because this girl is actually saying that she is in love with this girl instead of this guy.

And it's, that to me was a massive bi-panic moment.

And I liked the fact that there's a little bit of bi-panic.

Yeah, like bi-panic on Amanda Bynes' face.

Can I, okay, this is, I'm going to be very vulnerable right now.

And I'm going to say this.

I don't think I'd seen this movie, like I don't know in how many years since first came out.

And even when it just opens with her being like, like she is a capital C cool girl.

You know, she's like this great soccer player, but she's got like a hot boyfriend.

She wears eyeliner on the pitch.

And she just like has everything.

And it really triggers some sort of teenage trauma in me where like the character in this movie that I identify with is the uber nerd that Duke gets paired up with as a lab partner.

Eunice who has external braces and wears glasses.

And it's probably the horniest out of all of them.

And I was like, I, thank you.

I identify with Eunice.

And so everything that Amanda Bynes like represents, I'm sorry, I know this makes me a bad feminist, but at the end of the movie, I was like, you cannot have it all.

You cannot eat like a pig.

Also be then a successful debutante, get the man like win everyone over at soccer.

By the way, why did they allow her to play in the final game once she like revealed who she was?

She was not enrolled at that school.

In fact, she was enrolled at the rival school.

Why would they let her play in that game?

It makes absolutely no sense.

You can't have everything.

I just, it enraged me.

I'm sorry.

She also is giving white middle class problems.

I'm sorry.

We just let 10 Things I Hate About You into the Bi-Panic Room.

It's a masterpiece.

It is a masterpiece.

And can we say Justice for Eunice?

She got with a hot guy at the end.

Oh my God.

She got the most beautiful out of all of them.

Yeah, who really was into her.

Made horrible comments again though, for him and trying to hate him.

And when they are the bros at the beginning talking about, oh, she's vulnerable.

It's the perfect time to hit him.

Oh, you know, it's male insecurity.

But then at the end, they're all kind of like being, they're all kind of calling each other out and they're sitting there reading with tampons in their eyes.

I don't think that's the most troubling thing about this movie.

The deception.

The deception and the outing of a potential trans person on a stadium in front of the school by the headmaster.

I was not a fan of.

Yes, I see what you mean, the way they did that.

Unlike 10 Things I Hate About You, the politics of this movie don't hold up quite as well, I would say.

And also, again, we have, again, a minor exposing herself to a male authority figure in front of...

Again, same thing, the other film got in.

That was a surprising parallel, I do have to say, it was like, what are the ramifications of this?

Was there like a joint screenwriter here, in fact, we need to get the teenage girls to show their tits to the headmaster?

Two children, two children, because Sebastian, Sebastian drops trou and she lifts shirt.

So we have two kids actually, which is fair, which is very bi.

We've got representation on both sides.

That is true, that is equality.

The other thing for me that I cannot get my, I just cannot get on board with is Amanda Bynes' accent.

When it's like the Siren Drawl and then as a man, what is that meant to be?

Got a lot of my knowledge.

What is she going for?

Like is she-

She's been quoted all week.

I see you for what you truly are.

It's over Monique.

I can't.

I actually think she was like if I just can't, no.

Love it.

I mean, it's interesting because-

Like that comes out at the wedding.

Charge your glasses.

I do.

I will say though, I do think it's not just her.

I think also the way that Channing Tatum speaks to all of his other like primarily white friends is they all talk like white boys who listen to rap music.

So I think it's just, it's permeated that entire group.

I like the group in 10 Things I Hate About You.

Pretty much.

The white rastas.

Exactly.

I think it's a cultural appropriation thing.

There are weird parallels between that and Tim Lee's Hate About You though.

More than I realized, actually.

Yeah, because, oh my god, I know his name.

Why have I forgotten his name?

The headmaster.

David Cross.

David Cross.

His character literally says the exact same line as Allison Janney's character, who I know she's a guidance counsellor, but she says scoot, now scoot, and he says it verbatim himself.

So Shakespeare reused.

Shakespeare was just reusing.

Yeah, Shakespeare famous for saying scoot.

Yeah, Shakespeare famous for saying, later, Jemima.

Always copying himself.

There was a character that has been brought up.

It's Amanda Bynes' friend Paul, who does her makeover.

I find him really attractive.

He was the most attractive.

He's very good looking.

Yeah.

There is representation there, which can I just point out, is not 10 Things I Hate About You.

So, there's more of a no homo vibe in 10 Things I Hate About You.

But Paul, he kind of date stamps with his little faux hawk, his emo metal studded bracelet, which I am jealous of, and we'll be getting one after rewatch.

You are literally wearing a metal studded belt, so you're halfway there.

Yeah.

So he wins for me.

Channing Tatum, I must admit, not once and never will.

I'm sorry.

That is insane.

In She's the Man, I think it's his hardest role.

Yeah.

He's got this really lean like vibe, and he's sweet.

I think he's such a cute character.

And he has fantastic comedic timing.

We talked about it, the phone flip does it for me.

I mean, 10 out of 10.

Very funny in those scenes, but just to look at it, not for me.

He was the star of the show, really, I think.

Yeah, I think it was a star making role for him.

Yes, yes, yes.

He steals the movie out from under her.

I mean, it wasn't Harriet with the accent.

God, reading Amanda binds to filth here.

Oh, God, I couldn't do with it.

Yeah, and I think the supporting cast as well, really good fun, and they're all really hot as well.

Supplies came here from Vinnie Jones.

Vinnie Jones is hot in this film.

He is, do you know what, when he has a go.

That's the bard.

When he has a go.

That's the bard.

It's so, when he has a go at the other coach and is like, here, at Elyria, we are all about equality.

And it does this really very forward thinking speech about why Amanda Vines should absolutely be allowed to play with the boys because she has been playing with them this whole time and has been beating them.

So he supports her and says she could absolutely fucking play.

And spoiler.

I think you've reached with him being really attractive as well.

He's really hot in this film.

He's just got this vibe.

He looks all rugged in a bit like he would be very anti-women playing sport and he just surprises you.

And I think he's just soft on the inside and for some reason I just like him.

Benny Jones.

Really don't fall on the same end of the spectrum.

Learn something new every day.

Yeah, you do.

Exactly.

And also, can I just point out as well, there are a lot of weird similarities to other films in this, which we said the film also, as much as it's Twelfth Night, it essentially has a little like a C-plot of the parent trap.

Because their parents are separated and they bring them together at the end and they're like, oh, what are you doing this weekend?

And they're like, oh, should we have dinner together?

And the parents absolutely bond.

The parents are super rich, bond at the end, like really cut price, little versions of Natasha Richardson and Dennis Quaid and...

I don't know, I feel there's generational wealth there.

Generational wealth, yeah.

Oh yeah.

I do like it when they go to kiss because the plain and proper mother is all very excited, but you can tell she reverts to teenage mode and just wants to kiss her old childhood sweetheart.

And at the end, they say, oh, what's your number?

Speaking of the mother, I also love in the beginning, so Amanda Bynes has just dumped her hot boyfriend.

She comes home and her mother is obsessed with her daughter being a debutante.

And then she tells her that she's dumped the boyfriend and she's like, oh, he's so handsome and so well-built.

And then Amanda Bynes is like, why don't you date him?

And the mother has this moment of like, ha ha ha.

I couldn't possibly, but maybe I should.

I think they missed a line there because I thought she was going to say, and a man.

Because I feel like, again, Amanda Bynes' character could easily have been bi.

These are the stereotypes of being a football playing young woman.

And as much as I am completely kind of fulfilling that stereotype, being a bi woman.

OK, so but for you, this was like a really seminal film.

Yeah, I particularly think like I wasn't massively into film as a kid.

And I think any film where I saw a really strong female character, particularly one who was playing fucking football, particularly one who was like smart and funny and was attracting really hot women and also really hot men and was taking on like the patriarchy and going after what she wanted to do, even if it meant like maybe getting it spelled from school.

I thought that was great and gave me massive bi energy.

And like I thoroughly related to it and enjoyed it.

OK, I mean, Grace has given a very impassioned defense, you know, of She's the Man as a contender for The Bi-Panic Room.

So shall we go around the table and see where we're going?

I'll just start us off.

I'll be very honest.

I'm very surprised at my own vote.

I'll vote, yay.

This was definitely not a thing for me.

Like this movie did not have a any influence on me as a kid.

But watching it now, I do think I think there's so much there that we watch now when it comes to even just gender.

And I think you have so many more ways of reading it now, the way that you probably did back then.

But I do think the actress who plays Olivia is absolutely beautiful.

Channing Tatum is just gorgeous.

And I also think just by virtue of it featuring the All American Rejects and Dirty Little Secret, that is so bi that I literally wrote down, do you know what, I could turn this movie off now.

It's done for me.

Because I did also want to like, is nostalgia just bi?

I think it is, because it instantly catapulted me back to a time where you start making these discoveries about yourself.

And also just listening to what this movie did for you on your own journey.

I vote yay.

Thank you, Charlotte.

And that is the end of our vote.

And it is in the panic.

This is a democracy.

And now it is my turn.

No, Harry.

I'm sorry, Grace.

She's the man.

But never did give me bi-panic energy in my youth.

I didn't enjoy it when I was younger, when I watched it.

The leads do not do anything for me sexually.

As I said, please stay that close to the mic.

Sexually.

Channing Tatum has never been an attractive person to me.

I know that might be a controversial one.

Standout moments were, you sold it from me, All American Rejects.

That song does take me back.

I instantly put it on a playlist.

They're essentials now.

All American Rejects and Paul with his emo cuff were the big moments for me.

But I really wanted to, I was going in with the 10 Things I Hate About You, Shakespeare Adaptation.

These things will be timeless.

But I don't know, maybe on a redo, if there was a few changes to some of the plot lines of how the gender storylines were constructed, maybe I could be more on board.

Sure, rewrite Shakespeare.

I'm sure he, I think he'd be on board with Amanda Bynes cutting her hair.

I mean, he might just recast the whole thing.

I would recast, yeah.

Or, I mean, if I was, just to give Shakespeare some notes, 100% Olivia and Violet would be getting together at the end.

Just putting that out there.

Okay, on to my vote.

So I've been thinking long and hard about this for a whole three minutes while the other two were talking.

And between two minds, I'm going to be honest, because I really don't like the acting, as I've been very vocal about.

Amanda Bynes, I really like her as an actress, but I just do not think she was cast well in this role.

Her accents were horrendous, did not look like a boy.

The whole plot is a bit ridiculous that, again, no one recognizes that this is a woman dressed up as a man.

It just doesn't.

It's Sebastian rather, but actually the dress up is more that this is meant to be her twin.

So getting on more with that, I thought it was really overacted.

Chang Tatum, again, someone to Harry, never been someone I've been attracted to.

Really, I don't think he's a very good actor either.

I think he, but he's got his moments.

Shut your mouth.

I think he's his moments, but I think maybe in the comedy, he's quite good, but yeah, so.

But then he was attractive in this.

This is probably the most attractive I've ever found him.

And then the other people to really bring it up were, yeah, the gay guy.

I actually really into him, randomly.

I thought he was just really fun.

Oh, I would have had such a question to him in school.

The character, the actress who played Olivia, again, gorgeous, who was competent, she definitely was like a big energy.

So it was a really difficult one because I can see your point of view and I can also see Harry's argument of the movie itself probably just needs to be recast by Olivia, I think, and stay in it.

So generous of you.

Just renamed.

She's Olivia.

Just like a movie about Olivia's spin-off and her and Sebastian touring Europe.

We'll watch.

We'll watch.

So, yeah, it's a very difficult one because, yeah, I think the way you really have sold it in a way that it is an awakening.

And I think when I watched it again, I was like, okay, I can see, I can get on board with Olivia.

I can get on, because I actually straight away, I was like, okay, yeah, Olivia, question mark straight away when I was watching it.

I was like, yeah, I remember thinking about her.

And Cheyne Tatum as well is very attractive.

So, but can I put this movie in just because I find those two characters attractive?

Like, I think I'm tied.

I'm like, I'm really in between.

So I think the movie itself, I really actually can't stand.

I mean, I think that's your answer, Tarell.

I literally was just going to say the same thing, yeah.

But, I'm not really going to blackmail you with this, but I will 100% be using that accent at our wedding.

Well, then it's in.

Whatever you want, Tarell, I love it.

No, because the thing is, I actually kind of want to vote things.

I think there's a lot of elements in it that are good, but there's just a lot of elements that are bad as well.

Is it, are you, you know, you, we've all got to be able to answer this and say, do we think it's a universal bi-panic film?

And you don't have to say yes, really, if you don't believe that.

Yeah, I think I'm going to say no.

I'm really sorry.

No, no, but I think, bye.

I actually, I hate to say it, like this is not, I don't want to be going after Amanda Bynes a bit, but I do wonder if that was.

You're going after Amanda Bynes.

I was just going to say, you're being quite harsh to her.

There's no reason for her to be voted into.

We don't give sympathy votes here.

No, because I think she's a fantastic actress.

No sympathy votes in the Bi-Panic Room, guys.

This was just not her.

I just don't think.

She is so much better in All A Girl Wants.

Yeah, I think she just was not good in this.

Because she's a fantastic actress.

And I think it was just the accents.

I think she didn't do the accents, maybe.

So yeah, I think it's a very, probably 51% within me, no.

So what you're saying is it's over, Monique.

Because you're ugly.

Anyway, like my engagement ring is so close to coming off.

How do you feel?

Grace, yeah.

How do you feel?

I'm sorry.

I am devastated.

I will, but I also understand that this was potentially more of a personal bi-panic awakening for me as a football playing young person.

But I also, I encourage anybody to rewatch, to look at the cast, to enjoy the cultural experience of just the way Shakespeare intended.

To have a think about it and let us know if it sparked any bi-panic for you.

I personally will carry this to the grave with me.

If you enjoyed this episode of The Bi-Panic Room, please rate us and subscribe and leave us a review so we can reach all the other wonderful bicons out there.

Follow us on Instagram @bipanicroom or email us your own bi-panic experiences and suggestions to hello@bipanicroom.com.

Charlotte, what's the T-shirt for this week?

Our T-shirt for this episode will be, Do You Want That in Biambic Pentameter?

Give her the shot.

Give her the shot.

Previous
Previous

#7 - Jurassic Park (1993)

Next
Next

#5 - Cruel Intentions (1999)