#3 - The Mummy (1999)

This is the bisexual mothership: the film that turned the majority of the gang bi. Stephen Sommers’s 1999 masterpiece: The Mummy.

Rachel Weisz, Brendan Fraser, Arnold Vosloo, Patricia Velasquez & Oded Fehr - need we say more?

Sure, we will. Gold body paint, flesh eating scarabs, 90s pencil eyebrows, this one’s got it all. Attempts at objectivity about this movie are futile, so get ready for way too detailed discussions of plot points, dialogue and everything concerning Evie Carnahan.

BPE (Bi-Panic Energy) of the week picks are music heavy with Chappell Roan, Hayley Williams, Charlie XCX & Lorde cited by our crew - with a half naked footballer thrown in for good measure.

To round us off, Tessa establishes her role as the person with the most unhinged wild card choices. Will her pick make it in? Trust us, you’re not ready.

Listen to full episode :

Episode Transcript

[Please note that transcripts are automatically generated so many not be 100% accurate]

welcome to The Bi-Panic Room, a bi-monthly podcast exploring the films and television series that trigger Bisexual Panic, aka Bi-Panic.

Hello everyone, my name is Grace, and I'm joined by my fellow hosts, Tessa, Charlotte and Harry, to bring you yet another bionic film of our youth.

In this episode, we'll be discussing the 1999 masterpiece, The Mummy, before moving on to what's giving us all bi-panic energy this week.

Will two of us have the same?

Rounding us off with her wild card pick, this episode will be Tessa, and trust me dearies, you won't guess what she's picked.

So for those unfamiliar with The Mummy, firstly, how dare you?

secondly, you're in for a treat, and thirdly, you're welcome.

Here's the somewhat uninspiring synopsis given on IMDb.

At an archaeological dig in the ancient city of Hamanaptra, an American serving in the French Foreign Legion accidentally awakens a mummy who begins to wreak havoc as he searches for the reincarnation of his long-lost love.

We start in Thebes, Egypt, where Imhotep, Pharaoh's high priest, is just chilling, you know, looking a bit shifty.

And frequently topless.

Frequently topless.

And in rocks, the one, the only, Anoxana Moon, who is the Pharaoh's mistress.

Can I hear drama?

Cue gasp.

No one is allowed to touch her because this is 3,000 years ago and times have not changed that much.

So she is painted in full-on gold body paint with some like intricate Egyptian sexy designs.

It's quite something when she walks in that say that.

Anyway, so she's painted like that so that he can see if anybody has touched her.

And shock, she is having an affair with our topless man, Imhotep.

The priest?

Yeah, he was an absolute babe.

And no wonder when you see the pharaoh, you really understand why.

But anyway, so pharaoh walks in, spots that, you know, she's got a smudge on her arm.

Yes, from kissing that topless...

Could only come from a man.

Exactly.

She didn't just accidentally brush past, like, one of the multiple statues sticking around.

So there she is standing there, scratching a statue of a cat.

And I was going to use an alternative word for this, because it would just sound hilarious, but I haven't been so vulgar.

And as she stands there, stroking her cat, in walks the pharaoh.

In walks the pharaoh, and he's like, excuse me, bitch, why have you got a smudge on your arm?

And she's all like, moi?

She doesn't even speak, she just looks at him.

Anyway, and then in comes Imhotep, and he's got a giant sword, and that is not a euphemism, he is holding one.

And behind the statue of the cat is also another dagger that, you know, a knock to the moon pulls out from God knows where, because she's nearly completely tits out naked at this point.

And she stabs the pharaoh, she makes the first move, stabs the pharaoh, Imhotep joins in, bodyguards come.

She's like, you have to run because you're the only person that can resurrect me.

And he's like, God, OK, fine, if I must go, I'll go.

So she kills herself in front of the Magi, who are the pharaoh's bodyguards.

And off goes Imhotep while she just dies and he's like very upset about it.

Anyway, this is just bear in mind the first like five minutes of the film, but it's setting the scene.

And anyways, Imhotep comes back, steals the body, rushes off with it.

And this is her body, by the way, and decides to resurrect her.

But midway through the process, so she's nearly alive, up come the Majai, kidnap him.

She goes back to the underworld and then he is subjected to the Homdai, which is like the worst thing any person can go through.

Yeah.

So it's a horrific mummification process.

And you're basically told that he's going to be undead for the rest of his undead life and that if he's ever awoken by man, he would unleash a plague upon humanity.

And this is how the film begins.

And it cuts to 3000 years later, where we meet our hero, Rick O'Connell, for the first time.

Strong start of Egyptian mythology happening here.

Yeah.

We've already got forbidden love.

We've got naked people.

We've got naked, hot people.

People covered in gold.

Yeah.

We've got an affair.

We've got money.

Yeah.

And it has to be mentioned.

I'm very sorry to say a very brief point here, but Anax Sunamun looks at the spit of Victoria Beckham.

She does.

Can I hard disagree on that?

Disagree?

I mean, it's a very Egyptian version.

Made my note.

A very Egyptian version.

But I don't know.

There must have been some Golden Spice Girl video.

Was it the eyebrows?

It could have been the eyebrows.

I think it was the eyebrows and the hair.

They do time and place, don't they?

And the fringe.

I feel like it was very Vicky Bex from the 90s.

It is that opening of that movie when you're in this huge Golden Palace and Thieves and she literally just walks onto set and walks down like it's a runway.

That moment in her painted get up, just walking, that to me literally was my bisexual awakening.

Like that's what did it.

It was like sold, there's no going back now.

It's a woman in gold painting, not wearing very much.

Where's the paperwork?

Sign it up.

Exactly.

Sold.

You instantly understood why he was willing to be mummified so that he could come back and resurrect her.

Absolutely.

Anything for love.

An absolute devastation that she could not be resurrected so early on in the film.

That means...

It's a tragedy.

Where is she for the rest of it?

Which sounds like we are siding with the mummy here, but we're not.

We're just laying the groundwork of what's going on.

Maybe we should sign with the mummy.

We're not not siding with him.

We understand his drive.

We're here for a love story.

We are.

100 percent.

Especially a love story that lasts through the ages.

That's, I think, the beautiful thing that carries through the whole movie.

Sure, plagues upon the earth and world domination, but at the heart, it's really about the fact that they're so in love with each other.

Oh, yes.

None of this would have been necessary, all the devastation later on in the film, if they just let them be together.

Exactly.

Is there anything more lesbian than 3,000 years of yearning and cats?

And you don't expect it from the priest to be super loyal like that.

Or to be interested in women.

Yeah.

Unusual for the time though, for a man to want one lover, basically.

Well, Madeline, bear in mind that she is the mistress of the pharaoh, so the priest is kind of at least sticking with one that we know of, I suppose.

It's also about liberation really, isn't it?

Because before she kills herself, she says to the Magi, doesn't she say, my body is no longer his or his temple?

And I think when you were a kid, you don't really think about what that means, but when you re-watch it now, you're very aware of the discrepancy and power dynamic between her being a mistress and the literal pharaoh.

And there was no such thing as saying no, thank you.

And so even her killing herself in that moment, even though she knows she's going to be resurrected, she's like, I'm still choosing this over having to subject myself to the life that I was almost forced to enter.

Yes, that comment does give us a little bit of back story of An Accident Moon and her anger that she was having despite being painted gold and living in a palace and looking like a hoppy.

Yeah.

Which may is repeating.

Yeah, it does.

And I mean, it's interesting that we've gone so far into the opening, like three or five minutes of the film, because the actual film, if you remember, is really about our good friends Rachel Weisz and Weisz?

Weisz?

We'll interchange.

We'll interchange.

And Brendan Fraser, who play the iconic Rick O'Connell and Evie.

Carnahan.

Carnahan.

Fun fact, they were supposed to be called the Carnavans and then they changed their minds because the Carnavans discovered Tutankhamun and I think they became like a legal issue where they couldn't name them the Carnavans.

A little high clear link there.

I think I thought Howard Carter.

Howard Carter and the fifth Earl of Carnavan.

Oh, I see.

Together, yeah, opened it and the fifth Earl of Carnavan died in under mysterious circumstances after that.

And like he died on like the anniversary of finding Tutankhamun.

So he's buried up on beacon Hill.

He's the only Carnavan not to be buried in the tomb.

He's buried up on the hill overlooking the castle.

And yeah, people say that's because he wanted to, but some people say it's because he's cursed.

So he wasn't allowed in with the rest.

But yeah.

So The Mummy is basically based on a true story.

A true story.

Yeah, exactly.

And actually, if you ever visit Highclay Castle, which is where the Carnavans are from, or say they live, but they live outside it.

The, where the old school kitchens are, if you're a founder of Downton Abbey, this will ruin the magic for you.

They don't exist.

It's an Egyptian exhibition underneath.

Is it really?

Yes, it is.

So you can go and live out your mummy reconstructions there, as I did in my youth.

I feel a day trip coming on.

A day trip to Highclay Castle.

So after the film's beginning and set up of who will become the iconic, The Mummy, and let me put it this way, he's your daddy, cut to, we cut to Hamanatra in 1923, which is when we meet Rick O'Connell and he's fighting, as all men like to do, they're just fighting.

And he's fighting, he just says something in French at the beginning, it's kind of hot.

Oh, yeah.

He's fighting with the French.

And then he's constantly gunslinging.

Yeah.

And like those arms, those arms.

And it's the adventurer, Jodhpur style, stone trouser that just beshapes everything really gloriously.

And where his friend Benny kind of abandons them and goes off, he's like, no, I'm going to fight even though I don't know what I'm fighting for.

And anyway, once you skip a few, he lands basically on the top of what we will know from the beginning as Imhotep's grave.

So he gets spooked, everybody runs away.

And it's the only reason he survives this little war at the beginning is because he's accidentally stumbled across the mummy's grave and everyone's too scared to go near it.

Well, you would.

He's a man who's angry with the fact that his girls were taken away and she's super hot.

Yeah, he's back for a revenge.

Who would like to do the introduction to Evie?

Ah, well, so we meet her like Belle in Beauty and the Beast, a topper, a ladder in a library, just organizing books and just, oh, just chanting all these ancient authors' names and having a wonderful time.

The first thing that strikes you about Rachel Weisz's character Evie is her eyebrows.

And lack of.

Infamous.

I'm not sure if it's particularly indicative of the 1920s or of the 90s when it was filmed.

But we are struck with the shape of her thinly drawn eyebrows.

And once you go over that and you start to get to see the quirky character that Evie is.

Beckham eyebrows a bit.

Oh yeah.

I guess it's very fit of the era, isn't it?

Yeah.

And nothing does say the 90s more than posh spice.

So she's wearing a very long skirt.

She's got a blouse on.

A loosely unbuttoned blouse.

Can I just put it out?

Of course.

With a very bi-panic tie.

Yeah.

And the knot of the tie is just around the cleavage to draw attention in.

So she's in the archives in Cairo.

And as all clumsy people do in a library, when you're on top of a ladder with a domino effect of bookshelves, the comedy scene writes itself.

And gasp, one set of bookshelves falls over, creating a whole tornado of books happening.

And then her boss comes in and rips her a new one.

Yeah.

And he calls her a catastrophe and he rips into her.

And it's at this point in the film where she, you know, not too on the nose explains exactly why he needs her, which is that she can read and write ancient Egyptian.

She can interpret hieroglyphics.

And all of these things will come in very handy later on.

Basically, he calls her an idiot and a bit of a clutz.

And she's kind of saying, no, I actually know my worth and I'm very valuable to you.

And she's a badass bitch for that alone.

With point one in The Bi-Panic.

Yeah, point one in The Bi-Panic.

And she's accused of being a bit of a Egyptology nepo baby.

Yes, she is.

But she defends herself as being very knowledgeable.

And we realize a few seconds later why she is in fact, not a nepo baby, but her brother Jonathan definitely is.

I mean, to be fair, you could still be a nepo baby.

You know, you could have like the Maya Hawke approach of like, I know I'm a nepo baby, but, you know, I already occupy the space, so I'd rather, you know, make use of it instead of apologizing for it.

So I think really she should own the fact that you can be a nepo baby and you can still have talent and a hard work ethic.

You know, unless you are, of course, fuck boy brother Jonathan, who just enjoys gallivanting a lot more than he does any serious work.

Yes, just stealing people's archives and having trades in the pub.

Very Hagrid.

Being useless.

But it is Jonathan, of course, that kicks off the chain of events.

Because what does Jonathan bring to Evie?

If not a treasure map.

In a puzzle box.

A treasure map.

Yeah, in a puzzle box, as she likes to call it too, which is such a great scene, to Rick.

So he says, Evie, does this mean something?

Have I got something here?

Because he's just always trying to make money.

And she's like, yes, Jonathan, I think you found something.

And she pops open this little puzzle box, as she calls it later on, and it's got a map in it.

And the map leads to the lost city of Hamanaptra, aka city of the dead, aka where all of the gold of Egypt is buried.

And she takes it to the museum's curator, who was just horrible to her, because that's what you do in this situation.

And he burns the fucking thing.

On purpose.

On purpose.

And we later find out why.

Trying to hide something, are we?

Exactly.

And then at this point, Jonathan says, well, you know, I did get this from somebody in a trade.

This person might know more about the map.

And that's when they enter Cairo prison.

And we meet, three years later, confined to prison, Rick O'Connell.

Looking more like his Tarzan era.

I was just going to say, looking more like George of the Jungle.

Yes.

George of the Jungle.

And, yeah, and Evie approaches him and says, I found your puzzle box.

And he's like, bullshit lady, you're here.

You're here for Hamanaptra.

And she's like, you saw through me.

And he's like, yeah, I did.

And they have a very non-consensual, but kind of still hot kiss.

And he says, I will tell you basically where it is if you get me out of here, because he's been condemned to death.

I know the timing of their meeting is quite serendipitous.

So she just stays for the execution and just kind of barters eventually with the promise of divvying out some of the shares of the wealth of Egypt that comes from Hamanaptra.

He is cut free.

I mean, you couldn't have better timing.

You couldn't.

So she gets him from prison.

She basically has made this deal with the warden.

He's going to get a percentage of whatever treasure they find at Hamanaptra.

And so she gets Rick O'Connell out of prison.

And so they all set off together, along with Jonathan, to go find the city because they no longer have the map, but so the city can only be found by people who already know where it is.

And so they set off on camels to go and find the city.

And before that, obviously, she has to have a costume change.

And she comes out in this probably quite historically, and as well as culturally inaccurate, I'm just going to call it like a belly dancer outfit, because I feel like that's really what they were going for.

Oh, with the mystical veil.

Yeah, mystical veil over her face that is still translucent.

So you can actually see the whole face, but we don't want to cover gorgeous Rachel Weisz.

So I understand where we're coming from.

And that's also the moment where Rick O'Connell is like, wow, this lady's got it going on.

I've already smooched her non-consensually, but now I can really see that.

She's not just a librarian, you know.

She is not.

She is not.

And can I also point out the moment before this, which is where Rick definitely has the same effect on Evie, which is that after he's released from prison, they're boarding the boat in the port of Giza.

And she's there saying, oh, he's filthy, he's rotten, he's a complete scoundrel.

And he rocks up, clean shaven, hair cut, practically in like a soft linens or like camel-colored jacket.

You can see his utterly leather.

Almost a bit uniform.

Like he looks like a hot soldier.

But this is where her jaw drops.

And she's like, I don't need to fall off this boat to get wet right now, because what a fault.

Yeah, she is.

And we are all collectively like, collective gushing everywhere.

He's not about to go to Teffero and be hung.

He's already hung.

I mean, it's just two insanely hot people being hot for each other and having the kind of chemistry throughout the whole movie that, honestly, on rewatch made me think this movie is severely unsuitable for children.

It's sexually charged from the off.

Oh my gosh.

Every single scene.

Everywhere.

For everybody.

I think everybody has, I think, I actually would argue that the cast had Bi-Panic in this film.

There's so much going on.

There's so many hot people.

There's so many like, I mean, you'll get to it later on, but there are so many scenes where people interact with each other.

You've got Imhotep interacting with An Aksanamun at the beginning.

Then you have Imhotep interacting with Rachel Weisz later on.

You have Brendan Fraser interacting with Our Death, which is like a really fun scene.

That is my favorite part.

And then you've even got An Aksanamun and Rachel Weisz.

Yeah, they have a bit of a film.

I mean, that's more Mummy Returns, but there is so much bi-panic energy going on in this film.

A lot of muscle, a lot of sweat, a lot of fighting, a lot of looks.

A lot of like, yeah.

And it just makes you think the whole concept of resurrection, quite hot.

Yeah, hot.

You can see why they were so into it in Ancient Egypt.

A hundred percent, like take the organs out, put them in jars because this might pay off one day.

Happily die if you're going to come back for your hot ex-lover.

Yeah.

Three thousand years later, when there's more technology and you can rule the earth, why not?

Rachel Weisz has just seen the new and improved Rick O'Connell.

So they board the boat that will take them to Hamanachah.

But here, they meet a competing group of explorers who also want to have the wealth of Egypt.

Because why not?

And it's also people that Rick met on his previous expedition.

Competition starts flying.

We see evil Benny again.

He's kind of like the low-lying villain throughout the whole movie.

That being said, if you're into rodent men, I feel like both Benny and Jonathan are there for you.

He would absolutely thrive in 2024.

Yeah, I think he would.

Big Matty Healy energy coming from Benny.

Massively.

Problematic.

Opportunistic.

He would.

So with this group of Americans, they're all obviously gun-slinging, very yee-hawry.

It's very stereotypical.

And weapons are exchanged.

Yes.

There is a scene where, so they're kind of like ignoring, or Rick O'Connell is kind of ignoring the Americans.

He's not getting drawn into it.

He's trying to shut Jonathan up from giving them too much information.

And he basically goes to sit with Evie because there's this tension brewing there.

And he literally flops out his weapons all over the table.

And you can see her kind of getting a bit taken aback.

And he sits there polishing his weapon, talking to her.

She gets a bit hot and flustered.

And then he ruins it all with one simple comment.

And he's like, oh, was it something I said?

And she's all like, oh, just when I was starting to like you, silly man, and goes off to her room only to find...

Bad Man Americans.

Like in her bathroom or something, coming after the map.

And a lot of stuff happens.

There's a fire, there's gun slinging.

Rick saves her, she saves Rick.

It is also the most flammable boat in existence.

It goes up almost instantly.

One minute she's just there going, oh, it wasn't even that good of a kiss anyway, as she's trying to revise her for Egyptology 101 or something.

And then next thing you know, she's just being flung off the side of a boat, which is also quite sexy.

That's like raging on fire.

Yeah, she's about to get wet, if she wants to or not.

Oh, she was wet already.

Yeah, she was.

They all go overboard to escape the Magi.

And they end up basically on other sides of the river.

Benny and his crew have all the horses, all the resources, everything they need, but they're on the wrong side of the river, whereas Rick, Evie and Jonathan have an advantage where they are, but they have nothing, which is where they go to get camels and clothing, cue Charlotte.

I mean, where are we now?

Where am I going for?

You mean the harbour?

Oh, I thought about your round bit where she comes out with the veil.

Do you know what?

In a weird way, it's one of those things.

Well, I know this is a really contentious opinion and you're going to disagree with me wholeheartedly, but like I said, for me, it was all about an axe and a moon in this movie.

And like, and I know that for most people, it's Rachel Weisz in this movie, and I never really got it, but that moment when she comes out in her new outfit with the face cover and I was like, oh yeah, now I get it.

Oh, there are competing crushes.

I'm sorry.

You were attracted to Rachel Weisz when her face was covered.

Well, it's translucent.

It's translucent.

You can still see the whole face.

I feel like we have a bit of a theme here, emerging, because an ox and moon is covered in gold paint, Charlotte.

So, you know, is there something about obscuring?

I like a bit of zhuzh.

A bit of zhuzh.

A bit of drama.

There's also another attraction building when Rick O'Connell sees Evie command a camel.

And the same spot in the desert at the same time.

And you can't really see anything yet.

And you have to wait until the sun hits just the right spot.

And then all of a sudden, Hamanaptra appears in the distance.

And for some reason, that's not quite clear.

They then have a race there, like the person, or the group that gets there first and owns the entire city, which obviously is not quite correct.

But, you know, like it's men.

So, you know, colonial times, you know, that's how it works.

They're betting 500 American dollars on this.

That is true.

And so that all of both groups make it to the city and basically lay claim to different sections of it.

And the American group, I think, obviously, you know, in quite stereotypical fashion, much more brash, much more greedy.

It's all about gold and like what you can already see on the surface.

And the other group has Evie, who is like, you know, an aspiring Egyptologist and obviously knows her stuff.

And she's much more interested in digging, you know, more levels down to almost see what real treasure can she find, which for her is much less about gold and is actually about knowledge.

So it's quite interesting to like see how, you know, the groups differ from each other.

And they're sort of digging in the same space, but also, you know, trying for very different things.

There's a really good line in there as well, because the Americans who are led by Dr.

Alan Chamberlain, and his line is very English.

He is English.

He's English, this guy.

Obviously, he's an American.

He wears a fez, but he is English.

Yeah.

Colonial.

Goes to Egypt once.

Exactly.

And what he says, because they're like, oh, why are they digging over there?

And he says the line, they're led by a woman.

What does a woman know?

And that's when we cut to Evie, who is actually saying, like he said, Charlotte, because she studied it, she knows that there is something buried at the foot of Anubis.

So that's exactly where they should be heading.

So she's got it right.

And I just love that line that, like, in terms of the screenwriter making it really clear that they're showing how important Evie is to the film and that she is leading them.

Like, they all know that she's leading them.

I'm saying, what does a woman know?

And this woman knows fucking everything.

And throughout the film, it's her kind of steering it, it's her pushing everything, and it's her kind of saving the day as well.

So we've got both groups of people.

And, you know, like, there's still two groups of, you know, shameless and white people, so completely disregard every warning sign or ethical ramification of, like, grave disturbance they come across.

And like, both go for a bad ticket.

Leave this place or die.

Exactly.

There's gold.

Let's dig for gold.

We want money.

Oh, there's also, I know this is me going off on one, but back to the tools.

There's a nice, there's a nice...

Back to Rick's tools.

There's a nice little moment here where after what was said on the boat and you know, this little like, he gets all nervous around Evie and he brings her, her own set of tools.

So he's like, like a little matching pouch to his weapon package.

He gives her this little set of archaeologist tools and he gets all stuttery and he gets all like, and he said, oh, that might help you down there.

He has a big lung gun.

She has a brush.

She has a brush, a gentle brush.

Can I make it any more obvious?

Just watch us go off on a Levine tangent now for like a few minutes.

Start the podcast.

We have to talk about Apple Levine for 20 minutes.

It's dropping tomorrow.

And Octoneme is like, hey, hey, you, you, I don't like a tool set.

Oh, I like where this is going.

No.

As we are on a tangent, I just want to talk about the subtitles of the movie.

They've really leant into the Egypt theme and the font is so camp.

It's got your generic Calabri Times New Roman.

They've just gone in for some appropriative font and it's just something that makes you feel quite warm.

They probably spent a lot of money on that.

A fortune.

So they really want to get their money's worth by just speaking as much Egyptian as possible.

To be fair, I also love that.

You know, I think it's like proper, like they had actual Egyptologists write the dialogue in the Egyptian.

And that just sound amazing.

So I feel like that's money well spent, especially on a big budget action movie.

You're like, I appreciate that little bit of historical accuracy.

Yeah, they didn't just speak English with a strange accent.

And just try to get away with it.

Oh god, can you imagine?

Which never happens today.

Probably Williams in doubt.

But also this is a weird thread, actually, to the first film that we discussed, which is Panic Room, which is where you were talking about how expensive the fucking opening credits were.

And back in the 90s, those subtitles probably would have cost a lot of money.

And is there anything more like a little bit like camp, a little bit like extra, like Bi-Panic, than spending money on like calligraphy?

For volatility, yes.

Yeah, because I think we all feel for that.

Yeah, those are kind of things.

Brush off the shoulders of straight people.

We're a sucker for a font.

For a font.

It's probably downloadable on like, Oh, wedding invitation font.

The Mummy gave us, leave within 24 hours or die.

A horrendous death.

It just tried to have a secret The Mummy theme throughout the wedding and to don't tell anyone.

So I'm just painting Gull.

You cannot touch me.

Everyone is sweating.

Okay, so back to the movie.

We come to a scene which really hits the nail on the head of the flirting, but two are two central characters.

So after a day's worth of digging in the forest hard work, they come across, in the forest, where are we?

In a tomb, in the sand, in the desert, where there are loads of trees.

Yes, famously.

All that sand.

They're in a desert, working hard, in the hot sun.

They happen to steal a bottle of whiskey, and they have a little drunken desert night under the stars.

I will allow Grace to deliver a line that becomes quite formative for the romance.

biconic.

There we go.

That's the word I was talking about.

It's longer than this.

It's the abridged version, but she essentially says, I may not be an explorer, or a gunslinger, or an adventurer, but I'm proud of who I am.

I am a librarian.

Oh, and she is.

A few letters different as lesbian.

Lesbian.

So what she's trying to say is she's drunk.

She hasn't quite got her words out yet.

It's 1924.

Maybe that word isn't really in the Egyptian vernacular, but she is coming out.

She is proud.

It's Pride Month.

Happy Pride Month to Rachel Weisz.

And she is just loud and proud saying who she is.

And is there anything more relatable to The Bi and the LGBTQ plus, more widely community than someone standing up on the sarcophagus of a dead mummy and saying, I am who I am, and then proceeding to try and kiss somebody and instead falling straight into his lap.

Straight into the crotch.

Straight into the crotch.

It's a strong move.

I've tried that one before.

Eight out of 10 success rate.

Oh, strong.

Not for any longevity, but.

I think it's also worth mentioning.

Before that happens, they have already found him, right?

So they haven't opened it yet, but they found the tomb.

Oh, yes.

More pivotal plotline that come back to The Mummy, not just a pretend coming out as a lesbian.

Pretend?

Well, for the audience, it's very real.

In the meantime, the mummy's been found.

Yeah, in the meantime, the titular role.

Say that one again.

Has been found.

They found the tomb.

The tomb has been tried.

They tried to open different elements.

They've actually found him.

She's clocked.

It's a key that she's got.

This puzzle box is a key.

They've opened the tomb.

Mummy rocks out.

Moist is anything.

And that if there's anything more relevant to the film, moist is anything.

And do you want to say that again?

No.

The mummy, the mummy.

Mummy that's moist.

Mummy that's moist.

They say moist.

Oh no, they say juicy, which is kind of worse.

Yeah.

Especially when you say it like that.

Juicy couture.

Looks like he's still decomposing.

There's a big word for a librarian.

What's the hieroglyphic for decomposing?

And then meanwhile, the Americans, with their side of things, they're taking the piss because they're like, guys, we've got this bit of the dead.

We've got these jars that you put body parts in.

Even though they opened a box that basically says, if you open this box, the mummy will come and get you and steal all of your organs and will become no longer undead, but immortal and back to flesh.

Anyway, so they, once they've had their separate discoveries, the doctor is clinging to the book and trying to open it, and she wanders past like, oh, I think you need a key for that.

And she's like, waits until he's asleep, steals the book, cracks open the key, and says the famous last words, nothing bad ever comes from reading a book.

No one ever died reading a book, whatever it is.

And she opens the book.

Big mistake.

And because she's very clever and can read hieroglyphics, she decides to read, as you do as a young 20-year-old librarian.

Because she can.

Because she can.

After getting the shift.

Reads aloud from the book of the dead.

Yeah, big mistake.

Big mistake.

Is it also weird that she opens the book kind of on a random page made of some very heavy metal and then she just reads a random hieroglyphic and that is exactly the hieroglyphic that wakes up, you know, the Mummy.

A plot hole that we will not be diving down.

You are correct.

Why question a masterpiece?

In any other book, that would just simply be the acknowledgments.

But no, in this one, it is the pivotal reading.

I did find a plot hole later on and I actually didn't write it down because I thought I'm not going to point out plot holes in this masterpiece.

So something bad does happen after reading from a book.

It does.

And the slack-jawed mummy that they opened up on the previous scene is awoken and our fez-wearing Brit says, no, you must not read from the book.

She's like, whoops.

Was that me?

But I was just showing off my hieroglyphic reading.

And then, you know, the 10 plagues of Egypt just happen.

Yeah, they just happen.

And so the first of the plagues comes, which is the locusts.

What have we done?

What have we done?

All the CGI locusts just like buzzing around his face.

So they rush back into the tomb, you know, the safe place where they just opened a fucking mummy.

They run back towards the danger, as you would.

And out is the mummy is popping around looking for things.

And scarabs have started pouring out inside.

That little noise of the scarabs.

They're horrible.

There's nightmares about those.

And then of course, the mummy is coming for his eyes, ears, mouth, nose, every head, shoulders, knees and toes.

Yeah, he's coming.

And he goes first for the hot American guy with the glasses.

Okay, can I just say something about this?

And I know that like, so he, I, both as a child and as a full grown adult, I feel like that's very triggering.

And if you're not wearing glasses, like you can't understand, but so there's chaos.

Everyone's running away in fear.

He trips, his glasses come off and somebody else, like steps on them and they're broken.

And then they just leave.

I think it might be evil Benny.

Yeah, he is just basically blind, trying to feel his way around.

And that's when the mummy gets him.

And at this point, he only takes, he only takes his eyes and his tongue, which is awful.

And then later on, you know, the mummy has to like basically suck all of these people dry, who were there when the book was found.

And that's how he rebuilds himself physically.

Absolutely.

Some BPE right there.

And because he didn't finish completing the job of sucking dry this particular American, he comes back later.

We've all been there.

He goes back for a second.

Exactly.

He tricks him into thinking that, like, this is a just like a visitor who's wanting to meet him.

And obviously he's blind now.

And then slowly he realizes that the mummy is there to kill him.

And he's so helpless.

And I genuinely, I genuinely have to skip over that scene now because I find it so awful.

Yeah.

Man, you know, for speckies, it's just triggering.

Can I point out a slight plot twist here?

Which is that the mummy has taken the eyes of someone who can't see without glasses.

So in theory, he should have taken the glasses, he should be wearing glasses throughout the rest of the film.

What an example.

And can I just say, him her tap with glasses, man, he could get it.

Oh, yeah.

They wear hot glasses.

They wear hot glasses.

All glasses wearers are hot.

I've been doing it for like three months now.

Oh, get it, Harry.

But we can only assume that the mummy has the powers to like laze it himself, because otherwise...

Well, he has the powers for everything else.

Yeah, he has the powers for everything else, because otherwise it's a massive plot twist and the mummy's been blind the whole time.

Which might explain though, why he mistakes Rachel Weisz for his long lost love.

That is an excellent justification for a potential plot hole.

Yeah, a different race.

Exactly.

He's absolutely, he wonders up to her because she's fallen through a trap door and basically says, Oh, my long lost princess, come with me.

And she's like, Oh, bitch, you got the wrong person.

But now it makes sense because he can't see her properly.

And then, you know, Rick O'Connell comes out just in the right time to save her.

Mummy gets scared off or gets, you know, a few casings in him from Rick's gun.

His well-polished gun.

His well-polished gun.

And the Magi come and say to them, we fucking told you, like, you should not be here.

You shouldn't be meddling.

And now you've unleashed the creature that will destroy all of us.

And oh, and by the way, Rachel, slash Evie, you have been chosen as his human sacrifice to bring back his long lost love and knocks on the moon.

So you better be ready because he's going to come and kill you.

Have fun.

Chop chop.

And then he and he warns them as well that the rest of the Americans are done for because he will come for them for that.

As Charlotte said, he will be sucking them all dry very soon.

I mean, you would, but the easiest target first.

I think my official notes during the rewatch of this were Imhotep giving Melina from Mortal Kombat vibes after sucking off Americans to regenerate his body.

And as Charlotte alluded to earlier, he does return and he does polish them all off, you know?

Oh, there's nothing left of them.

And the only thing that gets them right up, absolutely desiccates them.

And the only thing that gets in his way, which is he is terrified of cats, we've discovered, which is, thank goodness.

So basically lesbians would be able to take on Imhotep, no problem at all.

They get that shit done.

But yeah, we've basically got this, the clock is running out at this point, which is that Evie has been assigned as, you know, the human sacrifice.

They're trying to save her and protect her.

Imhotep keeps getting stronger and stronger because he keeps sucking off those Americans.

My secret.

I sucked off three Americans today.

Now look at my body.

Never tell I was 3000 years old.

And yeah, so they run into this, they run into the museum to take shelter while they're running away from the mummy.

And at this point, he's already enslaved a lot of the Egyptian people and they're all kind of chanting, Imhotep, Imhotep.

This movie is really scary.

It is.

And it's fucking great.

Nothing more.

It's just panic.

Yeah, bi-panic energy of the fear of like, do I want to be them or do I want to suck an American dry or do I want to be a librarian?

I don't know at this date.

They're the only options.

The only options.

I mean, they're the only options worth considering.

They are, you know.

So, they go back to the museum because they think that they might find answers there for how to beat him.

Because they obviously bought him and unleashed him and they figure there must be a way to set him back into the underworld.

So, they go to the museum and they find this big block which has hieroglyphs all over it.

And she's slowly trying to, because she's a little bit rusty and you know, her life is on the line so you can figure her for being a little bit.

And so she says this iconic line.

Patience is a virtue.

Because everybody's fucking rushing her and it's such a best line and it's something that you can just use time and time again in your own lives.

Feel free to use it.

And trademark Rachel Weisz.

Because they're rushing her, but she's the only one that can fucking read the hieroglyphics.

So she's reading it and she realizes that there are two books.

There's the Book of the Dead, which is this black book that they've got, which is what unleashed the mummy.

And there's also the gold book, the Book of Amun-Ra, which is the book that will set him back down again, which is a gold book.

And basically on this hieroglyph, it's telling you where they are.

And it says that the Book of Amun-Ra is buried at the foot of Anubis.

And they're like, well, that's where we were.

And that's where we found the Book of the Dead.

So they realize, silly Egyptians from 3,000 years ago, they only fucked up and put the books in the wrong place.

So all she has to do is look at where they buried the Book of Amun-Ra, which is actually...

It's out of the Statue of Horus.

Take that, Bembridge Scholars.

Yes!

Take that.

I love that line.

It's so good.

Because she's a fucking genius.

And she's completely...

Because she's a woman, she's not allowed to be in the Bembridge Scholars.

Can we just point that out?

And she is just smashing the glass ceiling throughout this film.

She totally is.

She absolutely is.

And she is...

Yeah, so she figures that out and says like, guys, you need to get this book because this is the only thing that's going to save us.

And yeah, and she gets taken and she gives them time at this point to come and save her.

And this is when they all travel back to Hamanaptra in two very different ways.

Rick goes to his RAF friend, Winston, who is just desperate to die in war for some reason.

He's a drunk.

He flies Rick and Ardeth, who is for some reason strapped to the wing of the plane and loving it.

And Jonathan to the other one.

I think we haven't maybe acknowledged enough just how hot Ardeth is in this film.

He is the hottest man who has ever worn hair.

It is truly unbelievable.

He's got the face tattoo, got the incredible hair.

And he sits on a horse and looks down on you and judges you.

And you're like, yes, go on, tell me what to do.

It is magical.

I think Harry and I agree on this.

There's a scene earlier on where there's absolute bi-panic because of the fucking simmering chemistry between Rick and Ardeth.

They are fighting each other, but it's like, it's fighters to lovers.

They just put those weapons down.

Yeah, they start fighting each other.

It's like kiss, kiss, kiss.

There's this mutual appreciation for each other and their skills and Ardeth.

My favorite thing, you have mentioned the aesthetics of the facial tattoos, the gorgeous hair.

What is his conditioning secret?

His voice.

Oh, the voice.

That man's voice is like silk.

The creature.

He will do what he wants.

If he was going to warn me of a potential looming death, I'd listen to him.

Why is no one listening to this?

But equally, they don't want to leave.

He says leave within 24 hours and they're like, why would I leave you, Ardeth?

No, there'll be the greatest 24 hours of my life.

So he travels with them.

On the wing of a plane.

On the wing of a plane, as you do.

They're really lucky, by the way, that they got Ardeth.

You could have been like, bye, I'm leaving.

He saved the day and Mummy Returns will explain more of Ardeth, won't it?

But they find their way back with Winston.

But not before the Mummy tries to fucking take them down with absolutely self-obsessed.

His own face as a sandstorm.

He tries to eat them.

He tries to gobble up some more people.

Trying to swallow them down.

Yeah.

The giant glory hole of the sky just comes at them.

Stuck them all dry.

As if he hasn't done enough to enough people.

And he hasn't even got his wife back yet.

He's basically just doing one arse big stag do before he's about to get, you know, ball and chain back.

This is...

I'm going to go wild.

Exactly.

I'm going to go wild in the desert.

How many can I get?

I've just carried Rachel Weisz and Benny in my mouth.

And I'm just going to go gobble up Winston for just good measure, because I quite fancy a RAF pilot.

And scenes of him controlling his own sand face when he's just on his own in the desert going, rawr!

I like really stretching out his jaw.

I mean, you've got to really appreciate the commitment on the part of Arnold Vosloo.

He really goes for it as well.

He obviously starts off as this gooey creature, and then the CGI effects.

But at this point, he's fully back to Arnold Vosloo, shirtless, in robes, strutting through the desert.

And when he comes out of the sandstorm, it's fucking hot.

He's basically wearing like a shredded black loincloth and sort of like a coat that's sort of half hanging off him.

And he's just swaggering down the sand dune.

And you're like, this man really taught you what bald men are all about.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

You know, the future's safe.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Like he's not ashamed of having no hair.

He's like, why would I need hair?

Look at how slippery I am, you know?

Look at how I feel.

I feel like he has no hair.

No.

I feel like anywhere.

Which is quite interesting, which is actually quite historically correct because the Egyptians did actually tend to shave their bodies.

So that was already like quite a...

Accurate.

Accuracy.

The research was done.

Take that, Cambridge scholars.

That is solid research there, Charlotte.

Do you know what?

It's interesting because not only did this movie teach me that I was bisexual, but it also made me absolutely obsessed with Egypt.

And I wanted to be an Egyptologist for like the first, you know, sort of 11 years of my life, until I discovered that in order to study archaeology, you also have to do maths.

And then I quickly had to realize that it just wasn't going to happen.

Bye.

Bye.

Did you ever have those little sets, the little archaeology set where you would brush away and get a dinosaur?

Obviously.

And Grace, I also started to learn how to read hieroglyphics.

So, they've arrived in Hamanaptra, both sets of people have arrived in Hamanaptra.

Sadly, Winston does pass away from the attack by the creature.

And so, the mummy, Imhotep, takes Evie and Benny back into the tomb.

And for some reason, she then just ends up sleeping or passed out on the sacrificial table with her arms chained up there.

Does he do something to her?

I couldn't remember what happened there.

No, I think by the time they enter, she's still like fully conscious.

But she seems to have some like very sexy nap, because she wakes up like...

In her negligee, arms above her head.

Dream state.

It's a little bit like...

Not in pain.

Definitely a bi-panic scene when it comes on, you're like, oh.

I mean, I should be worried for her in peril, but actually...

Her breathy bosom is just...

She's like, take me, let's go.

And then she turns around.

She turned the channel.

And she sees Anaxunamun in mummy form.

Yeah, not the same.

Not the same.

Little caveat.

I'm sure that was a bisexual awakening for someone.

And we don't judge on this podcast.

We don't.

No.

We do not.

No.

And if that was you, let us know.

With a very different set of mummy issues.

Yes.

So, yeah.

So Imhotep is like getting ready to perform the sacrifice to resurrect his Anaxinomoon, which also means that he needs his priests.

So he, you know, performs an incantation.

And at this point, Rick, Ardeth and Jonathan are also back in the tomb trying to locate Evie.

And as they're doing that, all of a sudden, from every angle out of the sand of the ground, these great like mummy hands and arms start to appear.

And these mummified priests that used to be loyal to Imhotep and were also put to death along with him 3,000 years ago, start appearing.

And they are on their way to him, but they also obviously pose a massive issue for our heroes, as in they tried to kill him, tried to kill Rick, Jonathan and Ardeth.

And at this point, you know, they're trying, they get closer and closer to locating Evie.

And meanwhile, Imhotep is getting ready to sacrifice her.

And he performs half of the incantation, which means that, you know, there's this like, sort of like little pool of black goo, which is kind of the entrance, I guess, to the underworld.

And so this like, death eater like shape comes out of the pool, and like travels over everything and like lays itself down on Anax and Amun's mummified body, and that reanimates her.

And so there's just like this quite really scary female mummy, like coming to life and Evie fucking loses her shit because it is actually quite terrifying.

And meanwhile, as all of this is going on, Ardeth and Rick and Jonathan are trying to stay alive, trying to find her, but they are just overcome with these or by these priests.

And so Ardeth, as if he weren't like incredible enough already sort of sacrifices himself, he tries to stave them off.

Rick throws some dynamite right on there.

So, you know, we stop you right there, Charlotte.

There is a very important moment with that dynamite.

Oh, not only does Rick throw this dynamite, but he lights his match on Ardeth's beard, which is probably the most arousing moment of the entire movie.

And on re-watch, I gasped, I gasped at just how sexual.

That's how charged they were.

He could just set them on fire.

Even if he had Arnold Vosloo's fully hairless face, he would have still lit up.

Emotep could never.

Yeah, that is true.

That is ridiculously hot, that scene.

And it's also worth noting that at this point, they have gone to the statue of Horus, was it?

And they have found not only the book of Amun-Ra, but they have found all of the treasures of Egypt.

So they've actually stumbled across the vault that holds every single, like all this gold and all this exciting stuff.

So now they rich?

Now they rich, kind of.

Much to the delight of Jonathan, whose main character plot line is that he likes gold.

He's a magpie, he likes shiny things.

He's a gambler.

Yeah.

But he does find the book.

And it's at that moment actually that Emotep is literally about to plunge his sword into his human sacrifice, Evie.

And yeah, he's literally got the dagger above her head.

And yeah, and that's when Jonathan rocks up and he's like, hey, Evie, I've got the book.

And then Emotep is like, fuck this, which is the plot hole I was thinking of.

Like Emotep could have just gone, he's got the book, but right now if I kill her, then we're done, then we're done.

And I'm immortal and this dude is never going to be able to open the book because she literally shouts to him, the key is in Emotep's robes.

So Emotep would have been like, well, you can't get in the book.

You can't do me any damage.

Completely true.

So absolutely.

I was like, I watched that today and I was like, this is ruining my childhood.

Anyway, we're going to absolutely skim over that.

So where were we?

So Jonathan rocks up with the book of Amon Ra.

And then he's like, well, I need the key, Evie, cause he's fucking useless and Evie has to do everything.

Even though she has chained, I would say sexually, to this bed with a nuts and a moon, a sword over her, with a sword dangling over her.

Isn't there like something underneath her as well?

Like she's going to fall into something or is she just on the bed?

I think it might be the pool of black goo.

Yeah, it was quite like she couldn't really move too far.

She's on like this sacrificial bed type thing.

And again, why would you put so much time into building that?

Like just kill her, let's go.

Very performative.

3,000 years.

Gotta have a bit of ceremony, you know?

Gotta have a bit of drama.

And Jonathan's like, well, bitch, how do I open this thing?

And she's like, fucking hell, I'm chained to the bed.

But obviously I've got the answer.

The key is in Imhotep the Robes.

And Jonathan's like, oh shit.

And Imhotep puts the dagger down.

So Rachel Weisz is spared for now.

And he goes off after Jonathan.

Error, bit of an error on Imhotep's part.

And somehow Jonathan does it eventually, pickpocket said puzzle box.

Oh, cause he goes to kill him.

Yes.

Yeah.

So he goes to kill Jonathan.

And Rick comes along with a big sword of his own.

There's a lot of swords going on this.

There's a lot of phallic energy going on.

And he cuts off Imhotep's arm while it's connected to Jonathan's neck.

And Imhotep is like, oh, you did not.

Fuck you for cutting off my arm.

So that distracts Imhotep, at which point Jonathan pickpockets the key and Imhotep is putting his arm back on and goes after Rick instead, which allows Jonathan the chance to open the book.

So I guess we have to include the fact that Jonathan manages to read a little bit from the Book of the Living, which before that happens, actually.

So Jonathan reads Fraser's section from the top of the book.

He's not managed to open it yet, I don't think.

And that reanimates a couple of mummified guards.

But instead of actually going after him, Imhotep, who speaks ancient Egyptians, commands them to kill Rick and the others.

So they go after them and he has to try to fend them off.

Yeah.

That's where we are.

What happens next?

Yeah.

So I think basically Evie again, just she's tied to a bed, but she's still controlling the situation.

She's saying to them, Jonathan, finish the fucking incantation and then you can control the guards.

So she's obviously defined and he doesn't know what the, he's like, what's the flappy thing?

And she's like, oh, it's a, it helps him.

Stalk helps him to finish the incantation.

And just as Rick is literally about to be killed by the guards, he manages to control them, stop them and says, go after Imhotep.

No, go after, he sends them after, because Imhotep is immortal.

He sends them for an accident.

And an accident at this point, like Evie has managed to actually get free of the sacrificial table.

But she's immediately in danger again, because an accident moon has taken the dagger and is like chasing her around the grave and around the tomb.

And it's honestly a such a horrifying, nightmarish scenario, just being chased by a mummy that's making like an inhuman kind of screeching sound.

But so Jonathan reads this incantation, which then means he commands them to go and kill an accident moon, which they do.

And Imhotep, who is like still somehow rage blinded, going after Rick O'Connell, just watches in horror as these mummies, you know, kill, kill his beloved once again.

Third time.

She was so close to having a girlfriend again.

Exactly.

I mean, you can see why he swallowed up the whole desert.

You know, he's just trying to get his boo back.

I think he'd be a bit annoyed.

He'd be like, let's go, guys.

I'm going to kill you all.

So now he's watched her undead body be murdered again.

I think she conveniently goes into the pool of goo.

Yeah, gets swooped up.

Imhotep is fucking angry and he is going for Jonathan now.

At which point he gets close to Jonathan, lifts him up by the neck and is trying to kill him.

Rick comes along, cuts off his arm.

Saves the day.

Saves the day.

And he's like, oh, fuck you.

I'm coming after you.

Could you just take my arm off?

And I'm just so angry because my 3,000 year old wife is, or mistress or a fair lady is dead for the third fucking time.

Who's so super hot as well as he's been annoyed.

He didn't even get to see her hot again.

All he saw was her mummified corpse.

Also means that we didn't get to see her hot again.

Because I think we could all agree, her chasing Rachel Weisz while she was still golden would have been the hottest thing ever.

And I think-

Do you know what, honestly though, I feel like that would have given me a fetish that you can't live out in real life.

A fetish of being chased by a woman in gold with a dagger.

Charlotte, I feel like you could probably have that happen.

It's gonna be very difficult to find that subculture.

You know what I mean?

I mean, I think the lack of a re-incarnated, a resurrected Anaxan Rune just guaranteed the sequel.

Yeah, we need that.

The audience were hungry for it.

We didn't want to see her die in mummy form.

Bring back the hot gold posh pies.

She does again.

Yeah, and I think we'll all agree that this missed opportunity here where she is chasing after Rachel Weisz literally is what becomes the plot of the next film.

That is the entire Mummy Returns.

Which we will come to in The Mummy Returns because the majority of the bi-panic energy comes from Anox in the Moon and Evie in that film.

But the point that Jonathan is getting nearly getting killed by Imhotep, that is when he's able to rummage around in his robes.

He gets the key and when Rick is obviously being chased by Imhotep at this point, that's when he's like, oh, hey, Evie, I've got the key and she's like, oh, fucking about time, open the fucking book.

Stop telling me I'm not your mummy.

That's the mummy.

And he opens the book and obviously at this point, Evie is free and she's like, fucking move over, let me drive.

So she opens up the book and she's like, Paradoo, Paradoo, shall we do the fandango?

It's honestly like, it feels like way too easy.

The incantation that she says, you're just like, really for this, all of this work for this.

Paradoo.

Paradoo.

How I didn't know you were fluent.

I remembered two words and repeated them.

In different terms.

So as Harry says, that perfect re-enactment of the incantation there.

Carish mal, carish mal, Paradoo, Paradoo.

But it's also the pride on Rachel Weisz's face as she says it.

It's like, I fucking did it.

No one thought I could.

I'm a boss bitch.

And I'm a librarian.

Yeah, the power of the librarian.

This bitch is putting Mummy to bed, you know?

She's doing it.

And the power of the librarian.

And she's, at this point though, the, for some reason, the chariot from The Underworld, because 3,000 years ago, would they have had chariots?

I don't know, possibly.

Anyway.

Yes, yes, they did.

That's actually how Tutankhamun died as a chariot accident.

Was it the fourth?

Oh my God.

It's one of the apocalypse styles.

Oh, yeah.

So they come along and take his soul away back to the afterlife.

And they're like, bitch, I thought you were about to kill him.

And she's like, no, he's mortal.

And boom, here comes another sword.

Rick plunges right into the middle of Tutankhamun, into Imhotep's abdomen.

Yeah.

And because it's a PG film, there is no blood or guts.

He just kind of like covers that.

The makeup department, we're running dry at this point of blood.

He covers the whole with both hands.

Yeah.

Is that what you will?

But like, it's a fat sword.

Rick does plunge a fat sword into Imhotep's guts.

That's actually what he says in the film, exactly what he says.

It's probably one of the proudest sentences I've ever said.

Yeah.

Rick plunges his fat sword into Imhotep's guts.

And so Imhotep is now obviously mortally wounded, and he stumbles back into the black pool of goo, and you see like, sink into it.

And it's, he basically, like, gets sucked dry himself once again, by the black.

Once again.

And so he disappears below the black waves.

Just put back to the underworld for Imhy.

Oh, cute, he's still looking out for his mistress, he's super hot.

I just put mortal AF hun.

Mortal AF.

And then Rachel being like, all mysterious, you know, I've just escaped death, as you do.

She's like, death is only the beginning.

Oh, Charlotte, were you whispering that?

Yes, I was.

I was like, is this me?

You're saying this, Rachel?

Is that just a curse that's come upon this apartment?

We've quoted the Book of the Dead, and so therefore, we've already cursed ourselves.

I think perfectly quoted the Book of the Dead.

I'm proud of myself.

Take that, Benbridge scholars.

Yes.

I'm going to say that after everything now.

Take that, Benbridge scholars.

Meanwhile, do you remember Benny?

That little swine.

Yeah.

What happened to Rodan Boyfriend?

He has been down as a rodent, as they do, sniff around the basement.

He's trying to rob the gold.

He's been trying to steal all the gold and he's been carrying so much.

He's been carrying it back and forth to the camel.

And he is like, oh, fuck this, I need to take a break.

He puts like a big bag of gold onto the kill switch, onto the switch that basically...

Oh, it'll shut down.

Yeah, that will shut down and bury the city underneath sand and it will hide all the gold.

And it's basically...

We hear this mention at the beginning of the film about the switch that buries the city and he fucking triggers it.

Of course he does.

So obviously countdown begins again.

Their lives are in peril once more and they have to escape the very realistic looking tomb.

It doesn't look like styrofoam at all.

And they make it out, but guess who doesn't make it out?

Our buddy Benny.

Because Karma is a bitch.

Or is a boyfriend.

Karma is.

Yep.

So Benny, because he's trying to bring out more gold with him, you know, greed doesn't pay.

It's what we're learning in this film.

He gets stuck in the room of gold and the lights go out.

And there's a horrible scene where the scarabs come for him.

It's actually so horrible.

But, you know, come up and it's a bitch.

And deserves it, yeah.

As Taylor was saying.

But he has done quite a lot of legwork for our heroes.

He has loaded up the only available camels with treasure.

But they haven't noticed this.

They don't notice it.

We notice it in the audience at the end, because what Jonathan says when they exit the tomb, he's like, oh, here we are empty handed again.

And Rick's like, I wouldn't say that.

And he kisses our girl Evie.

And, you know, the sexual chemistry.

So she's the real gold.

She is the gold.

She's the treasure.

Their treasure.

Their national treasures.

Take that, Benbridge Scholars.

You know, this is the kiss we have all been waiting for.

This one has consent.

This one, nobody's drunk.

This one, definitely not dry.

Despite being surrounded by sand.

Well, then after the romance, and she basically just rides a camel, legs akimbo, she's spread all over Rick O'Connell on this camel.

And then they walk off into the sunset with a little glint of all the treasures in the camel's backpack, showing that they're going to be in love and rich.

Which sets us up nicely for the next film.

The end.

10 out of 10 masterpiece.

Oh my god.

It is such a good movie.

Yeah, every time there's a film that's shown in cinemas, I feel like it's a crammed screenings.

It's become a cult classic for, you know, allies, gays, B's, G's, T's, Q's, pluses, L's, everybody.

Even the straights love it and they don't know why.

Even they are allowed to join.

Yeah, the Bi-Panic Energy, nobody can escape it in this film.

I think that's a given.

Do you know, in terms of The Mummy, you know, obviously being Bi-Panic in every single way.

I think I was also quite interested.

I don't know how you guys felt, but I always felt like, it's a little, I think they kind of tried to undo it a little bit in the second one, but I always felt that Jonathan was actually quite queer coded as a character.

You know, he was sort of this like English dandy who travels the world with his emancipated sister, like supports all of her, you know, life choices that for that time were possibly quite radical and like sort of did his own thing.

And it was like clearly a hedonist.

Like, I was getting some Oscar wild vibes.

So I always to me, he always seemed like, I was getting like a swinger vibes, swinging both ways vibes could be.

Bi.

Yeah, like he's he's at those parties, pick up those characters.

He's a philanderer.

The fucking costumes are fire in this film.

And I think that really contributes to the energy of like, this isn't like a 1920s stuffy film, period drama where everybody's kind of like uptight and hoity toity.

This is like, we've got chest out, got arms out, got legs out.

There's a sense of adventure throughout that is not seen in films that are also set at that time.

Now it's like fully covered, wearing a bustle.

Yeah.

All those things.

You've got robes, you've got flowing materials, you've got like uniforms.

People are being chained up.

People are being chained up.

Yeah.

You've got other languages, which is just hot.

You've got this side is like exotic.

You've got, you know, this film's got it all.

Bilingual, bisexual.

Oh, yes.

I mean, Ardeth speaking in different languages.

Oh my god.

Silky smooth chocolate tones.

Yeah.

It instantly increases attraction by 30 to 50 percent, I'd say, when you hear a second language coming out.

It's just like...

Oh, agreed.

Yeah.

Can I amend that and say that I think it really depends on the language?

As a bisexual, bilingual who speaks German, I would just like to point out that...

I hope that's in your CV, Charlotte.

Do you know what it really should be?

I just think that, like for example, I think it would be...

It's a lot more attractive if someone speaks, let's say, English and Spanish, than if someone speaks English and German.

I'm allowed to say that.

Well, have you thought about English, German and ancient Egyptian?

I really should...

I should get my hieroglyphics books out again and I should really pick that up as a hobby again.

You are right.

Just say, oh, yeah, I've dabbled in hieroglyphics.

I mean, I already know what kill a naxunamun means in ancient Egyptian.

So, you know, I've got a good starting point.

What is the translation of a naxunamun?

I think it's like, Vakush a naxunamun.

There we go.

So you already...

If you see K-Me, kind of...

Take that for English scholars.

So yeah, we've got that.

And then also, I feel like you've got to bear in mind that this film is two love stories.

You've got Forbidden Love, twice over in some ways.

You've got Imhotep, who is the high priest, and he's meant to be like, you know, looking out for the pharaoh, and he's having a secret love affair.

It knocks on the moon.

And, you know, honestly, of course you would.

But they're both risking their lives for love at this point.

You know, that's hot, that's risky, that's sexy.

And it's also so bi, like what is more bi than a traumatic, intense love affair?

Yeah.

And he, in one way, is her hero, because, well, or she's...

Vice versa, yeah.

Because it's like, they're both like, actually, because I can't imagine she was treated super well by the pharaoh.

So she was like, this is my get out, I love this, I love imitate, like, let's go.

And he's like, yeah, sure, I'll jump with you.

So he's almost imitating Rick.

Yeah, let's U-Haul right the way to the underworld.

Very lesbian stuff.

Come back.

Yeah.

The appreciation of the women by the men is...

They're paralleling.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I think we all agree, this is a masterpiece, you know, in itself, and for us, a seminal pick for The Bi-Panic Room.

Cool.

I feel like we have gone above and beyond to explain why The Mummy 1999 masterpiece has earned its place in the walls of The Bi-Panic Room.

I think it deserves a wing of The Bi-Panic Room.

It does.

Okay, so next we have our Bi-Panic Energy of the Week.

Harry, do you want to share yours first?

I will happily share mine first.

My Bi-Panic Energy of the Week came from the fabulous Chappell Roan, who is taking over the pop mainstream now.

She's relatively new.

She released her first album in November, but has since exploded, and it's just massive in the queer pop scene.

She's headliners of festivals, and if you just look at videos of her shows, everyone, who is anyone, is going to see her.

She puts on a show.

She's high camp.

She dressed up as a Statue of Liberty.

She came up wearing, being a New York taxi.

She references absolutely iconic drag queens of decades gone.

She dressed up as Divine.

My specific moment from this week is when she was on Jimmy Fallon.

She's just being introduced as your favorite artist's favorite artist.

She stops Jimmy Fallon and said, Oh, no, no, no.

I can't take credit for that because that came from Sasha Colby, winner of Ripple's Drag Race.

As soon as she says, Sasha Colby, members in the audience start shrieking, and she stops and goes, Oh, there's gay people here.

And starts clicking her nails.

And that was just bi-pancic energy.

The camp, the sex, the appreciation, the education and the acknowledgement.

She is a true icon.

She is a true bi-con, you know, and obviously the bi-conic line from her song Casual, Knee deep in the passenger seat and you're eating me out.

Is it casual now?

Is it casual now?

She is perfection.

I have not stopped listening to her since I was first introduced to her, which just feels shameful that I missed a few months of her earlier career when she was barely taking off and she was wanting to give up and her determination to make it through, and she has just exploded in a very similar way that Gaga did back in the early noughties, and it's just good to see that that similar energy is carrying on, and I think she's amazing.

Shari, do you want to go next?

Yes, I'll go next.

We're staying in the music world.

Charlie XCX got a new album out, Brat, and My Girl has a remix of Girl So Confusing.

It's a song she wrote about her relationship with Lorde and how they both came up in the music industry at the same time, were always pitted against each other, and she was never sure whether they actually had a friendship or what else was going on.

The remix of the song now has a verse by Lorde, which I think is some of the most incredible, most brutally honest, vulnerable songwriting I've ever heard.

Where it's basically like a back and forth.

Charlie talks about the experience from her side and never being sure whether Lorde liked her, and then Lorde answers and is basically like, I was so insecure.

I had all of my own issues, and I basically built up this thick skin and I weaponized it because I was so insecure.

And now that we're both older and we've now had all of this life experience, the reality is that the industry pitted us against each other, and we're always there for each other, and there's a loyalty there between these two women now.

And it's such an incredible moving song, and I feel like everybody, but especially women, I think, can relate to it so well because you might have this instinct to really like someone at the same time.

There's always a possibility that someone tells you that they're taking something from you, and so you can't really, yeah, you can't hold those two truths inside of yourself.

And it's such a beautiful, vulnerable song.

It feels like this great catharsis and a comment on the music industry.

And it's just giving me, you know, those two icons actually on that track together.

It's just massive BPE.

Can't recommend it enough.

I'm so glad you mentioned that.

I listened to that song on repeat about 10 times today when I was walking around.

Harry, I start welling up every single time I listen to it.

It is so incredible.

It's always a joy to have Lorde around because she keeps us hungry.

She gives a big break between releasing music and this little snippet on with Charlie XCX is exceptional.

Excellent choice this week, Charlotte Bottom.

Do you want me to go next?

Go on, Deffy.

Okay, so mine is going to be a bit controversial and probably not as deep.

Mine is going to be a photo shoot again.

That's to be stereotyping.

Oh, sorry, that's to be going on like I did last week.

But in just keeping in tune with the euros going on in Germany at the moment, England's biggest star, Jude Bellingham, did a photo shoot for Skims.

And I was just getting the pictures ready to show you because I don't know if anyone has seen them.

Like he is, like it gave me panic.

Oh, this is interesting.

This has not happened since Zac Efron.

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

Okay, damn.

Yeah.

That man is beautiful.

Isn't he beautiful?

Have you seen the pictures, Charlotte?

Look up Jude Bellingham, Skims.

Got him looking at him right now in all his naked glory.

So attractive.

And it was definitely my panic energy of the week.

So I saw it.

I was like, oh my goodness.

Absolutely ripped.

It's also helping.

He's probably one of the best players in the La Liga at the moment with Real Madrid.

And obviously he's one of England's, like he's like England's new prince.

And he's just super, super hot.

So that's very my-

It's been a long time since I've heard you have genuine male panic.

I was.

Oh my goodness.

Yeah.

I think he's just so good.

And he just seems, he's already learned Spanish in his first year at Real Madrid.

When you compare that to David Beckham who-

Bilingual, bi-con.

Yeah, who literally could not, he barely said hola at the end of his three years since, you know, just, just thanks.

That was my very superficial bi-panic of the week.

No, it's not superficial.

That is anything compared to bi-panic.

Yeah.

Okay.

My bi-panic of the week is a little, it's a little more personal.

So I feel like it's not as, is maybe relatable.

It depends.

If you're a teenager who grew up listening to Paramore, then Castle's crumbling down between Hayley Williams and Taylor Swift.

So it's the Iris Tour, second Night London.

Yeah.

I have been waiting for this to happen because I'm desperate to hear this song live with those two.

Harry sent me a live stream as it was happening to say, watch this.

As we were at a hen party.

While we were at a hen party.

Criotes.

I did have a little cry watching that because it was just like, for my teenage years, Paramore were a massive part of my teenage years and loved going to see them live.

And then obviously in recent years, I've become a Taylor fan through you guys.

Always happy to help a sister out.

Yeah, and then obviously like, yeah, obviously these two have been friends for a very long time and Castle's Coming Down, when I heard that on that album, whichever was re-released, and I was like, oh, this is so good.

And their songs just blend so perfectly together.

And I just thought there was something really nice about it.

And it was definitely by Bi-Panic Energy in terms of this thing, I think more of a time period of like being young.

And when Paramore were obviously still like, you know, when I was young listening to Paramore, not really knowing that stuff about myself, and then growing up and then being open about being, A, bisexual and B, a Taylor Swift fan.

I mean, that in itself was hard to come out to.

You know, my family were very judgmental about Taylor Swift.

And now I kind of embrace it.

And at work, I'm more free to say that I am bi than I am to say I listen to Taylor Swift.

So there's something about that duality of that.

But listening to those two, sit there at the piano and sing Castle's Crumbling Down, was just massive bi-panic energy.

And I just think for a lot of people in the crowd, they will be experiencing that bi-panic energy of seeing those two singing that song so beautifully will make any person think, why even bother with men?

I think that's enough there to be like, oh God, we don't need them.

But so there's that element there of bi-panic energy.

I've just decided.

Gorgeous.

Thanks, Megwees.

Very lovely choices, team.

I agree with all of them.

I believe we have a new contender for our wildcard bi-panic entry.

Each week, one of us will submit a film that is considered somewhat controversial, hence the wildcard choice, that we found to be a bi-panic film of our youth, but is not necessarily one that everybody else would agree with, and not one that would spring to mind in the bi-canon.

This week, it's Tessa, and I believe we will pass over to her to reveal what is this week's bi-panic wildcard, Tessa.

I can feel you're so ready for this.

So, this week's wildcard is going to be Mrs.

Deadfire.

Now, Mrs.

Deadfire!

Get it out, get it out.

Charlotte, do you have any comments so far?

I mean, look, it's set in San francisco, so, you know, we're starting somewhere.

There's a tick.

So, I think everyone pretty much knows, again, the plot of Mrs.

Deadfire, but for people who need a quick reminder, it's Robin Williams.

On rewatch is a complete deadbeat dad, but anyway, watch you growing up.

We thought he was the best dad ever.

He was really funny.

All he wanted to do was basically be a child and be with his kids.

Lacking a job, lacking any responsibility, left his really good paying job, I'm guessing, because of a smoking comment.

Anyway, side note.

Then you switch over to Sally Fields, who's an absolute boss ass bitch, wearing these suits in this high corporate job.

And she's like bossy.

And she's coming home to this gorgeous house in San francisco.

And she just basically finds Robin Williams effing around the place with the kids, being like, let's throw a big party.

Let's have the police here.

Let's have a horse in the front room.

So anyway.

Everybody has a horse.

Yeah.

She's like divorced, like the big D word.

And he's all like gaslighter being like, oh, you're like, you're not going to divorce me.

Bye.

And then they get divorced.

And Sally feels like, yeah, bye, bitch.

Like, I'm the breadwinner here.

I hate who I am with you.

See you later.

Now, Robin Williams is obviously devastated.

And instead of going off and being like, I'm going to get a really good job, I'm going to turn my life around.

He goes to his brother and is like, you need to make me a woman.

And she he's like, OK, cool.

Like, I love this.

He's like super camp gay guy in San Fran.

And he's like, yeah, oh, my God, amazing.

OK, he then tricks Sally Field with his accent play and like has a whole load of very questionable accents going on and stereotypes about the help that they would potentially get.

Sally Field is like, they're terrible.

So eventually he puts on this English subtitled scottish accent and she's like, you're hired like before you even meet the kids, like whatever.

Questionable.

She meets Mrs.

Doufire and she's immediately taken by her.

She's like, she's the best.

She's the best thing since I spread, etc.

Kids are a bit dubious.

They're like, see you later.

In the meantime, then you've got this plot starting off with Sally Field and Pierce Brosnan.

Now he comes in, he's in like this gray suit, black shirt, super tanned, and he basically swoops in, takes the family, loving life.

Then Mrs.

Delfire is like, no, you must be celibate.

Why are you getting involved in this?

Anyway, that's basically the whole plot of the whole movie basically and it all, of course, erupts at this climatic moment in this restaurant.

He's like, I just want to see my kids.

Sally Field is like, did you have to dress up as a woman to do that?

Anyway, so basically, I've got to go straight in to really when going up why I've had this movie in mind because first of all, Pierce Brosnan, he's always going to be, I think, I mean, we can all agree that, a type of tear crush.

Yes.

When this film was broached as a topic, it wasn't until Pierce Brosnan was brought to my attention.

Yeah.

It's probably his best role in terms of how fit he is.

He is just-

Yeah.

He's got that San Fran tan on the go.

Well, yeah.

He just looks like a maculist.

He does have the perfect amount of chest hair.

And he's not even like, and he's rich, but he's not even like sleazy rich.

He's like, I love these kids.

Like they're so cute.

I love Sally.

Like she's great.

Whereas he-

Big daddy energy.

Yeah.

He could be a bit like Meredith in, you know, Parent Trap, which again, wouldn't have blamed him.

And be like, let's ship them off to boarding school.

But he's not.

He's like, no, I love them.

Like my own kind of thing.

And Mrs.

Dauphire is like, bye, you evil witch.

And then, yeah.

And then the other thing I suppose growing up now, again, just to relay that it isn't now, but between the two of them, there was Sally Field, who I thought very weird vibes.

I thought, okay, she's weirdly attractive, even though she's the most shrillest voice on the earth.

Then there was like this weird thing between Sally Field and Mrs.

Dauphire.

You're like, what's the energy there?

You know, I'm looking for reasons just to be-

Where's the Bi-Panic Energy here?

I was like, I enjoy this.

This is an interesting dynamic that you're bringing up.

Please dig in.

Yeah, but it was, I found it really just strange.

Obviously, it was the energy between Rob Williams and Sally Field, but she was looking at him so lovingly and it was like, oh my god, what is this?

There was a few joke scenes about it.

I think it was the Dauphire when she was checking out the young woman at the bar and she was just like, what the fuck are you doing?

See you later.

Anyway, you kind of forgot sometimes that it was Rob Williams and she wasn't this old woman from scotland.

I'm kind of regretting my choice of stuff.

But then also there was the elder daughter who was just rebellious and she was like, yeah, I want my father.

I don't want Mr.

Dauphire.

See you later.

Now she could have been a bit, she was a vibe at the time.

I think she was wearing a bit of plaid.

It is a stretch, but I do remember just thinking like Sally Field, I think it was just her energy of being this professional woman.

She had her own life, she had her own career and she was like, let's get rid of Robin because he ain't doing any work around the house.

He's like another child.

He's a man child.

And I think at that stage, we all had, it was like a gender role swap almost.

And even for Pierce Brosnan as well, it was like he then turned into this super loving dad.

And you were like, oh, I'm just, they actually were the two really I was kind of into.

Obviously, just to add in as well, the real estate in Saffron and the overall wealth in the movie.

Yeah, again, just with Parent Trapped, there is a real estate and wealth that we crave in our movie watching.

Yeah.

And I think just the other thing to add in is I think those kids are a lot, they will definitely lead a lot of therapy and struggle and, you know, question all of the relationships they'll have, which will probably propel them into the bi-life anyway, because they'll be like, what is a stereotypical relationship at this stage?

Well, they'll probably try and rip off a silicon mask of most people that they meet.

Are you someone pretending to be someone?

Are you pretending to be?

Massive trust issues, yeah.

So, I don't know, there's a few underlined themes I quite enjoyed.

I think, I will say it was mainly Pierce Brosnan and Sally Field in their suits.

I mean, top tier fashion moment is Sally Field's executive trench coat.

Yeah, trench coat.

The cascading lapels with a scarf underneath.

Absolutely stunning.

Timeless piece, timeless piece.

And if you look at her hair, her hair was always like immaculately, like I've just woken up, I've not had time, because I'm such a busy working gal, but it's still perfect.

But at the same time, it's a perfect blowout.

Yeah, it was.

Okay guys, Stephen Altman.

Is that a nod to a previous episode?

A nod to Panic Room, the trench coat.

The Flash's trench coat.

So our recurring themes are parents, relationships, real estate, trench coats, hair.

I get, I do like, I feel like that's a strong argument with the gender roles again, like the subversion of the gender roles.

Is there enough for it to be inherently bi-panic?

I do think there are definitely elements of it that you kind of probably never appreciated when you watched it, when you were a child, that you can now, like, obviously Robin Williams has this gay brother played by Harvey Fierstein, which by the way, already, you know, shifts this movie towards the bi-end of the spectrum.

And then he, like, you know, he gets this make-over and while he's doing it, like he quotes Sunset Boulevard and sings Barbara Streisand.

Yeah, there are these moments where you're like, we're clearly playing here with, you know, with different kind of cultures that maybe kids won't appreciate, but the adults do.

And, you know, maybe even especially if you are a kid who's queer and you are, you do tend to get into things like, you know, old iconic, bi-conic movies and musical theatre.

You probably do end up appreciating all of those facets.

And so I do feel like on rewatch, you know, when you watch it now as an adult, like it's got a lot more BP than you ever thought a movie about a man pretending to be an elderly scottish woman to look after YouTube would ever have.

Yes, there was some very well-considered notes running through the entire movie.

Like, yeah, the nod to Sunset Boulevard, the casting of the brother really worked very well done.

And as an adult lens who is trying to desperately filter out all the bi-sexual energy from a curveball film, you do surprisingly find quite a lot.

I think one of my favorite quotes from it, which is a silly quote, was the, they made a comment of, oh, and the uncle and the aunt, like, who made your costume when the kids found out?

And I think it was the same uncle, Jack and aunt Rob or something.

And it was just like that again, normal, like it was basically trying to bring in a gay relationship and bring it into a 90s family.

And how you would explain that rather than having like two uncles, you're saying, oh, this is my uncle and my aunt.

Like as a joke, but it's kind of seamlessly woven in that actually.

And I think it's good in itself at the time to be acceptable.

There's a sort of message there that if you were, and I think when I was, you know, at that stage, my youth watch you thinking, you know, we didn't really see actually gay people on TV.

So we saw this in like the uncle and how accepted it was and how beside all of the very problematic, like trans jokes that were made, it put them, it did kind of put them on scene as well though, because it, you know, you're like, oh, that actually does exist.

And it's normalized.

It wasn't actually like, you know, in a joke way, it was just this is-

And said to the children as well, which is trying to be discouraged across America.

Yeah.

So, you know, I think that's why it also gave me a bit of panic.

So I was like, oh, this is something that's, you know, there and then Pierce Brosnan would rock back in again with his perfect hair.

So, you know.

The hair is-

For me, for someone who I thought I was like, you know, one way gay for women, you know, there's a few curve balls coming in there.

This is true.

So the hair being brushed back as he very successfully does a dive off the springboard when he slicks it back on his way to the bar.

I think I like, I try to almost recreate that with my own hair now.

Okay, please do updates on your latest.

Yeah.

Pierce Brosnan wannabe.

A little chest hair reveal.

These men's watches.

Driving in a safety set.

This gray suit.

Wedding day would be a gray suit, little black belt.

You start suggesting that gray bouffants her hair.

Get a really shrill American voice.

Daniel!

Daniel!

So yeah, it is a bit of a curve ball, but I think it, yeah, for me, it definitely gave me panic and gave me bi-panic.

So, you know, if you look over, it's kind of the main character.

I am accepting your panic.

And I was not sure if it's my panic for a general movie of creating bi-panic energy.

It's a very good way of saying no.

I'm getting there, but on the whole, I don't think I can put Mrs.

Dalfire into the bi-panic room.

It's okay.

I'll have another Pierce Brosnan feature further along.

I'm very sorry, Tessa.

It's a no from me.

Okay.

But it's not going to stop me from lusting after a young Pierce Brosnan.

Who's nearing 40, apparently.

Yeah.

He's like, yeah, aging like a fine one.

Nearing 40 is young, right?

I feel like that's young.

Right, guys?

Guys, is that young?

It's the youngest I've ever known.

But exactly.

I'm sorry to devastate Tessa.

Will someone else please soften the blow for her?

It's a good question because like when you said it, I thought like there's no, there's just no way.

But, you know, when you talk about it, and I think especially when you don't just consider, you know, what actors are attractive, but, you know, what kind of journeys do the characters go through, or like just the more, almost macro view of the stuff it deals with and what you could take away from it if you're questioning your sexuality or your gender identity.

It's obviously quite rudimentary.

And like you say, there's like transphobic jokes and then there's stuff that just, you know, absolutely didn't age well.

But there are other things that I think you, that could probably leave like a really lasting impression for a kid when you saw it.

And like maybe open your eyes to things, you know, like the gay relationship and even what Williams is doing is like, it's obviously it's a gimmick, but I think maybe it also shows kids where like, you know, there's a different way of living than maybe you're aware of.

And I'm not talking about the deceit here.

Yeah.

So and again, like the smaller signs, like, you know, we're quoting Gloria Swanson and whatnot.

I just feel like there's a lot more there than I expected.

So I feel like really almost against my own better judgment.

I'm gonna I'm gonna vote yay on this one.

Just really, really surprised me.

So yeah, it's a yay for me.

I mean, all I wanted was one vote.

Grace is ready.

So I've struggled long and hard with this one since you brought that up on the microphone.

And I agree with Charlotte.

I would say there is a lot more bi-panic energy in this film than I gave it credit for at the time.

I feel like you can't get over the bit.

I can't get a bit more, one drop or two.

Cream in your coffee.

But yeah, I struggle with, I suppose, because I'm thinking about the fact that we're doing this.

I'm trying to think of these films as films, formative films of our childhood and formative films that helped us to understand our identity and would widely perhaps trigger an entire generation to think of themselves in a different way.

Don't give me that face, Tessa.

Add me.

I think that, no, I agree though, Pierce Brosnan, Hart, I agree that it's got the daughter trope, the daughter subverting gender stereotypes, being bossy, but she's not like a key role.

They could have made her a bit more there.

I think, like you said, the normalization of the uncles, which is lovely.

And, you know, there's a lot more.

But I do, I think the thing that really kind of, I feel like I can't in good conscience vote this film through to the panic room is just the sheer, the journey he goes on.

He's not questioning who he should be really.

And it's, I feel like it's, he puts on the persona of being a woman.

Yeah, and experiences some of the things that women get, like a man on the bus talking to you and all this sort of stuff.

And he kind of, but he uses womanhood to his own like advances to basically, like you said earlier on, to not actually really just sort himself out and be a good father and do the right thing.

And then he kind of, you know, is meddling in her relationship.

And there's just, yeah, I feel like there's just too much in the way of kind of positive, say, trans or messaging.

Too much bodysuit.

Too much bodysuit, too many jokes at the expense of trans people that I feel as an arrow.

As a youth though, I loved, I love that film.

And I think it's hilarious and one of the best films and Robin Williams is an absolute gem.

But I feel like I can't throw it through to the panic room and Tess is giving me a sad face.

It's okay.

Unfortunately, not all films can make it through to the panic room.

Yeah, we'll be back again.

I'll be back with my next film to try and convince you otherwise.

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…I am a librarian.